Ray's musings and humor

Easy is hard!

“Integrity is telling myself the truth.

And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”

Spencer Johnson

 

 

I think I shared with you last week that I am having my own energy crisis, nothing to worry about I will be back to normal in a few weeks. My biggest problem is that the loss can be almost instantaneous and those of you who know me well, know I need all the energy I can muster to keep up with my opportunities for service and frivolous pursuits. The wisest course seems to be energy conservation so I have temporarily backed off almost everything for a short term life of semi-leisure. My problem is that I did not realize how hard it is to take it easy. It was especially difficult to back off a couple of volunteer commitments and painfully withdraw from an Art History and a Comparative Religion class. Dropping out of the two classes was especially difficult as both classes have been great. I am making critical meetings and I have three volunteer assignments that I must fulfill in mid-August. If a miracle does not happen by then I will go to the docs and begin the process of my return to normal. Not to worry, nothing of permanent concern is going on.

 

I found another negative in my period of hibernation; it is that I get to watch more television. Yesterday I watched Alberto Gonzales in his testimony to congress and listened to the response of both Republicans and Democrats to his remarks. If you get a chance read about it or get on the web and see it. After spending most of my life as an active Republican with appointments both at the City and State level, I was saddened by what I saw. It appears to me that intellect and skill are no longer a requirement to be Attorney General. I am waiting for the President to say nice job Brownie, oops I mean Alberto. It is fortunate for Gonzales that the President has said that he will not allow Gonzales to be investigated or prosecuted even if his indicted by congress for perjury. Yesterday he made statements that were proven false shortly after the hearing closed. If you do get a chance, look especially at the dialogue between Senator Spectre and Gonzales about the effort he made to get then Attorney General Ashcroft to rescind his appointment of an interim Justice Department head because of his critical illness and to then change a decision made by Justice Department staff. Spectre said something like “How could you possibly have expected Ashcroft to make those decisions while he was sedated and in ICU”. Gonzales’ response was in effect, “There are no laws that prevent us from doing so and Ashcroft could have made his own decision as to whether or not he was capable of making the decisions”, fortunately Ashcroft refused his request.

 

Sorry about the rant, I try to keep everything like that out of the daily. It is just that it was so ludicrous that I could not resist.

~~~

 “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.”

Samuel Johnson

~~~

"You Know You’re a Redneck If…"

1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

2. If the biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart.

3. If your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

4. If you thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

5. If you’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

7. If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a Deputy always brings you home.

8. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 dollars worth of improvement.

9. If you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

10. If you’ve ever asked the preacher, "Hows it hangin".

11. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

12. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 80mph.

13. If somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

14. If breakfast consist of boiled eggs, can of Beenie Weenies& a couple salt’in crackers and a 6 pack of Budweiser, because you like the smell it creates after completing the digestive cycle.

15. If there are 13 dogs under the front porch and you have papers for one.

16. If a museum curator tries to buy 7 of the vehicles on blocks in your yard.

17. If your Momma knows how to make Roadkill stew.

18. If your truck has more colors than Jeff Gordons race car!

19. If you have ever been shot at by the law.

20. If you have ever been too drunk to walk, and drove home.

~~~

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

~~~

I came home one night and my wife was crying.  

I said, "what’s wrong?"  

She said, "I’m home sick."  

I said, "This is your home."  

And she said, "Yes, and I’m sick of it!"  

Tommy Cooper

~~~

Pride is something we have. Vanity is something others have.

~~~

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came Into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two People are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It’s called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It’s called Bunk Beds and Jimmy’s Mom wants to talk to you!!"

~~~

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

~~~

My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."

~~~

When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have.

Author Unknown

~~~

Two Martians were cruising through the solar system when they suddenly got the urge to try some Earth food. They had no local currency so decided to steal some Mars bars from the local shop. They furtively slipped into the shop while the shopkeeper wasn’t looking, nabbed the bars and slipped back out again.

"Stop! You never paid for those!" shouted the shopkeeper.

The aliens dropped the bars and beamed back up to the mothership. Their mates were furious when they discovered they hasn’t brought any food back with them. "What?" they goggled, "You couldn’t even take a few Mars bars from a shop without getting caught? What happened?"

"I don’t know how the shopkeeper saw us," said one of the unsuccessful shoplifters. "She must have had eyes in the front of her head!"

~~~

“Have the courage to say no.

Have the courage to face the truth.

Do the right thing because it is right.

These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

W. Clement Stone

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

 

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