Ray's musings and humor

Don’t Wait

"Everything comes too late for those who only wait."

Elbert Hubbard

 

 

My day got away I am sad to say.

So today there is a daily from a past day.

Sorry, Ray.

~~~

Ray’s Daily

July 2003

 

Have you been paying attention to what is going on in schools all over America these days? The unfunded mandates coming from Washington coupled with state budgets in a disastrous state is creating havoc with our kids and our grandkids education and their health.

 

Recently I had breakfast with one of our countries leading public health experts on the medical crisis we face due to childhood obesity. He was extremely concerned about the widespread elimination of physical education and physical activities in schools all over America. I am afraid that we are creating an environment where children will grow into unhealthy adults which will put an even greater load on our healthcare system in the years ahead. I am equally concerned about the loss of music, art, and cultural education in our schools.

 

My concern is that we may be raising children who may be technically proficient but lacking in the ability to enjoy life to its fullest. My generation often takes the position that these are not our problems, I beg to differ; these are the future adults who will manage the world in which we live. We not only owe it to them, we owe it to ourselves to make sure our schools don’t abandon our children.

~~~

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

H. G. Wells

~~~

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of the British governments ‘Work for the Dole’ scheme and employ unemployable youth.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Liverpool youths were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.

This was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for at the crew’s first practice session, not only were the new Pit Crew able to change the tires in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, retagged and sold the vehicle over to the MacLaren Team for four bottles of Stella and an old Nike shell-suit.

~~~

Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength.

Eric Hoffer

~~~

Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you."

The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down.

For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything.

Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma’am, may I ask you two questions?"

With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!"

The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. "Marcia, I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?"

Marcia grabbed at Jimmie’s hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you!

You have made me so very happy!" She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, "You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?"

Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?"

~~~

Our lives begin to end the day we start becoming silent about things that matter.

Unknown

~~~

"The Five Stages of Life"

To Grow Up

To Fill Out

To Slim Down

To Hold It In

To Hell With It

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

"Oh Father," said the nun. "It couldn’t have been that bad."

The priest replied, "Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn."

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons."

"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?"

"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"

~~~

The doctor explains to Abe that he would be able to resume his sex life as soon as he could climb two flights of stairs without becoming winded. 

Abe listens attentively and then says, "What if I look for the women who live on the ground floor?"

~~~

To be civilized is to be incapable of giving unnecessary offense,

it is to have some quality of consideration for all who cross our path.

Agnes Repplier

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

 

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