Ray's musings and humor

Don’t overlook the rainbow!

In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage, so long are you young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, and then only, are you grown old.

General Douglas MacArthur

 

 

The dictionary says that a cynic is a person who believes all people are motivated by selfishness. A person whose outlook is scornfully and often habitually negative is also a cynic. I am ok with the definitions; my problem is that I don’t know how to react to the cynical. First let me say that I really don’t like to be around the cynical, I don’t mind looking a potential problems, I just don’t like people who spend all their time trying to find them. How sad it must be for those who have spent their lives in a negative world, participating only by spreading scorn.

 

Just think what the cynic misses. How many friends might they have had if they had not believed that everyone is selfish? Pity the cynic who is so busy looking for trash that they can’t see the flower. Every day we let go by thinking the worst is a day that we will surely have missed the best. I would so much rather spend my time finding the flower than spend it looking for trash that I can use to prove to all that they have no reason to be happy.

 

Do me a favor, if something is wrong tell me, don’t shut everything down. Once you have told me then please work with me to make it right. And oh by the way if you think all people are motivated by selfishness then why are you here, for here is where people who care for each other gather to share friendship and goodwill.

~~~

“What is a cynic?

A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

What a bargain grandchildren are!

 

My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.  

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.  

Welsh Proverb

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Marcy DeMaree

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete.

Lois Wyse

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.

Henry Youngman

The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents.

You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

Alex Haley

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.

Joy Hargrove

~~~

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.  

"Well," he replied, "the pay sucks and the hours are lousy, but what I do like is that the customer is always wrong."  

~~~

A ninety-year-old man married a woman of the same age.

They spent their honeymoon trying to get out of the car!

~~~

Mary:  I’m not interested in marriage.

Sally:  Don’t you want to meet that special guy?

Mary: Hey, I meet special guys all the time. If I was married, I’d have to stop doing that.

~~~

Money does not talk. It just goes without saying.

~~~

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him."

"I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

~~~

"If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done."

Ludwig Wittgenstein

~~~

The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a ‘Lord Nelson.’ The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men might react violently to one another, but they were introduced and then left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.  

The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told: "Doctor, I’ve been suffering from a delusion. I know now that I am not Lord Nelson."  

"That’s wonderful," said the doctor.  

"Yes," said the patient, smiling demurely, "I’m Lady Nelson." 

~~~

"People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn’t look any better."

Margot Black

~~~

A frustrated father vented, "When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, telephone, computer, and CD player."

"So what do you do?" asked his friend.

"I send him to MY room!" exclaimed the father.

~~~

“There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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