Ray's musings and humor

Welcome to the daily!

“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.”

Og Mandino

 

 

Since many of you have recently joined our daily list in order to start your day with a smile I thought I should review what it is all about. About seven years ago I started sharing stuff I found humorous with a small number of friends, most from the United States, but some from outside the US. Since that time the mailing list has grown to more than 500 recipients, actually much more than that since there have been more than 11,000 visitors to my 360 blog and many of you resend the daily on to others. As you know I have fallen into the habit of sharing thoughts and a little philosophy from time to time and I am grateful to the fact it has become a habit. I doubt that I would be doing much introspective thinking if it were not for the daily, I have learned a lot about myself in the process.

 

Many of you are old friends, some from as far back as the 1950’s, others from more recent times. You are doctors, housewives, professors, international aid workers, retirees, business people, and more. The list of what occupies you is extensive and you live in all parts of the worldYou range in age from the teens to the eighties. I have never met many of you since you joined the list through a friend or somehow stumbled across the daily as you surfed the web. I feel though that we have become friends since we are in regular contact and I do appreciate your being a reader.

 

Much of what is included in the daily are things I received from one of you and I am always grateful for that. Of course the best part of that is just hearing from you.

 

As always if you want me to put a friend on the list let me know and I will be glad to do so. So thanks one and all, I am glad that we have become friends.

~~~

Although there may be nothing new under the sun, what is old is new to us and so rich and astonishing that we never tire of it. If we do tire of it, if we lose our curiosity, we have lost something of infinite value, because to a high degree it is curiosity that gives meaning and savor to life.

Robertson Davies

~~~

She told me that:

When I was in my younger days,

I weighed a few pounds less,

I needn’t hold my tummy in

to wear a belted dress.

 

But now that I am older,

I’ve set my body free;

There’s comfort of elastic

where once my waist would be.

 

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes

my feet have not forgiven;

I have to wear a nine now;

But used to wear a seven.

 

And how about those pantyhose-

They’re sized by weight, you see,

So how come when I put them on,

the crotch is at my knees?

 

I need to wear these glasses

as the prints were getting smaller;

And it wasn’t very long ago

I know that I was taller.

 

Though my hair has turned to silver

and my skin no longer fits;

On the inside, I’m the same old me,

Just the outside’s changed a bit.

~~~

I will never put off until tomorrow what I can forget about forever.

~~~

One day a mother took her 6-year-old son with her to visit a friend at work. Everyone there knew her, and she was offered a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees went to make more coffee, her son followed her and asked, "What are you doing?"  

"I’m making your mom’s favorite drink," she answered.  

Imagine the woman’s shock when she heard her son say, "Wow! You know how to make beer?"

~~~

YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES TALK ONLY TO ME.

~~~

The Fourth of July weekend was coming up and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.

"We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free."

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room.

He stood with his hands on his hips and said, "I’m not free. I’m four."

~~~

A wife says she wants a divorce.

Husband: "But you’re supposed to love me no matter what."

Wife: "You have me confused with Jesus."

~~~

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a "little" stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship’s log: "The first mate was drunk today."

"Captain please don’t let that stay in the log", the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself."

"Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, its true" the mate said.

"Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That’s the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion," said the captain sternly.

Weeks later, it was the first mate’s turn to make the log entries. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today."

~~~

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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