June 1, 2022
“Far up in the deep blue sky, Great white clouds are floating by; All the world is dressed in green; Many happy birds are seen, Roses bright and sunshine clear Show that lovely June is here.”
F. G. Sander
Ray’s Daily first published on June 1, 2004
Here we go, June already, summer will soon be upon us here in this part of the world. I hate to say good bye to Spring even though it created havoc here in Indiana this past weekend. We had storms, tornados, our professional basketball team lost a critical championship series game at home, and our famous Indianapolis 500 motor race became the Indianapolis 450 due to rain delays and finally the foulest of weather stopped the race. Yesterday, as I was preparing the daily for today, I had found a short poem that I had cut from one of my quote archives that I wanted to share with you, and my shaky computer dropped power and all was lost. All in all I am continuing to be challenged by recent events. But life goes on and all is never lost. The flowers are in bloom and the staggering heat of summer is not yet upon us. If my computer had not gotten sick I never would have ordered the replacement that I had wanted but could not justify. As always things are not nearly as bad as they could be, and all it takes is picking up the pieces and moving on. After all life is an adventure that would be awfully dull if everything always went as planned.
I know some of you are fighting serious disease, a few have lost your jobs, and others have lost a loved one. Your burdens are real while many of ours are not. I am glad to know you and proud of the fact that you don’t let your problems beat you. A year ago or so I had to get daily intravenous treatments at the same facility as those who were getting Chemo treatments to prevent further episodes of Cancer. I was amazed at the positive attitude that they exhibited. They showed me that, like everything else in life, it is how we deal with what we are given that counts. We do have choices, it is up to us to decide if we are going to let adversity take us down or if we are going to stand up and move ahead. We can’t change history, nor can we control some of the things that happen, but we sure as hell can rise above it all and tell the world here I come, you can’t take me down.
“Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
“The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.”
He said: When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up.
What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ’round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full- time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email!
We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
You want to hear about hardship? We didn’t have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal! And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn’t know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
And we didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like “Space Invaders” and “Asteroids”! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning…D’ya hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled! You guys wouldn’t last five minutes back in 1984!I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Mary: I’ve discovered the origin of the word “good-bye.”
Jill: Oh, yeah? What is it?
Mary: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, “I’m leaving you!” The wife said, “Good! Bye!”
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle.
“I’m here,” declared one, “to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And how about you, sir?”
“I,” sighed the second explorer, “came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons.”
My dry cleaner very generously gives each customer a free copy of our daily newspaper.
As I took my copy, I told him,
“I hope the business grows enough to offset the cost of the papers.”
“Oh, don’t worry about us,” he chuckled..
“Nothing dirties clothes more than newsprint.”
“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another”
George Bush, US President
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long plane flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has leveled off the man in the window seat suddenly says, distinctly and confidently, in a low voice, “General, United States Army, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.”
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight-lipped smile, “General, United States Air Force, retired. Married, two sons, both judges.”
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, “Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both generals.”
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in flower shop,
“We don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?”
Replied the customer sadly,
“No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three 3 wishes.” The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes —that whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!”
The woman said, “That would be okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.The frogwarned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to.”
The woman replied, “That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, “That will be okay because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish,………And she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them !!!!!!!!
“Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of readers from around the world.
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