February 17, 2022
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don’t know about you but I don’t like myself when I get angry. In fact I have learned that I am better off staying calm. I don’t want to be like those who explode mostly over things that are not that important. If I respond in kind I am behaving like the out of control person who is acting badly. Uncontrolled anger is just not worth it.
Here are Angel Chernoff’s thoughts on how we can avoid letting others upset us.
10 Things to Remember Before You Take Things Personally
NOT taking things personally is a skill to be honed.
To help you practice, I recommend storing the following reminders in an easily accessible location, and then reading (and re-reading) them whenever you catch yourself taking things personally.
- Calmness is a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.
- Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.
- You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
- There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.
- Oftentimes people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to.
- You can’t control how people receive your energy. Whatever someone interprets, or projects onto you, is at least partially an issue or problem that they themselves are dealing with.
- Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Weigh what you hear from others against what you know in your heart to be true.
- If you’re willing to view the behavior of other people as indicative of their relationship with themselves, then you will inevitably take things less personally.
- If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.
- All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.
No other emotion plays such a disruptive role in our lives as anger. While angry, our reasoning, which is necessary for thoughtful decision-making, is impaired.
Carl Semmelroth; Donald Smith,
When I Was Growing Up We Were So Poor That We Could Only Afford…
Medicines called placebos
Five of the Ten Commandments
Sunrise Or Sunset
Webster’s Extremely Abridged Dictionary
Ivory soap soup mix
Blue suede shoe boxes
Lipton Tea Bag strings
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.
– Hello, that’s you, Abe?
– Yes, dis is Abe…
– It doesn’t sount like Abe
– Vell, dis is Abe all right.
– You’re positive it’s Abe?
– Vell, listen Abie, dis is Moe. Can you lend me fifty dollars?
– Ven Abe comes in, I’ll tell him you called…
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.
“It takes considerable time and technique.” replied the guard. “First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly…”
“This is certainly most helpful.” said the member. “I know that my sister will appreciate it.”
“Your sister?” said the lifeguard. “In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She’ll learn in a hurry.”
Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
You pretend to work, and we’ll pretend to pay you.
I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
What’s right is right, no matter how few people do it.
What’s wrong is wrong, no matter how many people do it.
His son is a “high-energy” kid who never sits still and is always on the move.
He was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday.
“Do you really believe that’ll help improve his behavior ?” he asked.
“Well, no,” she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider area.”
If people find fault with you and try to put you into bad light, wrongly slandering and vilifying you, just step back and observe yourself. Don’t harbor any dislike, don’t enter into any contests, and don’t get upset, angry, or resentful.
Zen Master Yuanwu
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