August 29, 2019
The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.
If you are like I am some of your days are harder than others. I know lately I have had some physical problems that have temporarily taken their toll. My bed continues to use its siren song in an attempt to lure me back to bed but I am resisting.
I prefer being me and not the guy who lets things get him down. I have come to believe that we are all a constant work in process, so everyday I get to work on being who I want to be. I get to forge ahead, doing the best I can with few excuses. And you know what? That is what keeps me up, not slipping into despair.
The following piece is a reminder of what I need to promise myself every day.
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”
From kids test papers, essays, etc. The spellings are the original ones.
*H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
*When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
*Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.
*A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
*Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
*Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
*The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.
*For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
*Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
*The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
What this country needs today is fewer experts on what this country needs.
Jill and Nadine hadn’t seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Jill confided that there really wasn’t anyone special in her life.
Nadine, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. “He’s perfect. He’s handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I’ve been waiting to hear a man say to me!”
“He said ‘will you marry me’?” Jill asked.
Nadine replied, “No, he said ‘put your money away’
Birthdays are good. The more you have, the longer you live.
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, “I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?”
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, “No, you CANNOT play through.” He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, “I can’t believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!”
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
“The world is round, and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.”
A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. “Okay Simpson,” says the investigator, “you were near the scene – what happened ?”
“Well, it’s like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up.”
“He was smoking in the mixing room ?” the investigator said in stunned horror, “How long had he been with the company?”
“About 20 years, sir”
“20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done.”
“It was, sir.”
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful.”
Mark Victor Hansen
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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