February 13, 2019
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
One of the traps some older folks seem to fall into is giving up on themselves. Most of the people I meet these days have not done that. They demonstrate that personal zest does not require physical skill but an enthusiastic mind.
Most of my elderly friends have already learned what life is all about and chose to use their time in self-rewarding pursuits. Some read, some like doing puzzles, some enjoy the arts, and my favorites enjoy stimulating conversation. The following poem reminds me of many of these good people.
You are more than you pretend to be
You are more than what most eyes can see
You are more than all your history
Look inside and you will find
There’s glory in your mind
Come be the kind of person you would be….
You are more than what your leaders say
You are more than how you earn your pay
You are more than what you seem today
So drop that loser’s mask
You’re equal to the task
The question you should ask is who you are….
You are more than what the preachers shout
You are more, come let your spirit out
You are more, your soul shall have no doubt
Arise, become awake
With every breath you take
The god within will ache to be….
You are more than some statistic chart
You are more than the sum of all your parts
You are more inside your heart of hearts
You know that it is true
This being that is you
Has miracles to do
by Jean Houston
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
“Well,” she explained, “Up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.
“In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?”
“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?”
Henry David Thoreau
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”
Another patient asked, “How do you know?”
The first inmate said, “Because God told me!”
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, “I did NOT!”
The greater part of our happiness depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
- Knowledge is Power.
- Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power Time = Money
It follows that: Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
“Never judge a book by its movie.”
Do-It-Yourself Tips For Real Men
* Leak stain on ceiling. – Cut a piece of plywood into a square. Nail it over the stain. Put a handle on it. Tell everyone it’s the door to your attic. (Not recommended for basement apartments).
* Ant invasion. – In a four-litre pail mix together two litres of water, 500 grams of abrasive cleanser and two tablespoons of dish detergent. Find the spot where the ants are getting into the house, pick them up one-by-one and drown them in your pail. Or simply squoosh them with your shoes and use the mixture to clean up the mess.
* Crayon marks on wall. – Grasp in right hand one paint scraper about 30cm long. With left hand, grab rotten offspring who made the marks and threaten to apply scraper to his video game collection if this happens again. Break all his crayons.
* Crabgrass. – In one corner of your lawn, assemble your mower, rake, shovel and weed killer. Using right index finger, dial any asphalt company. Have them come over and pave your lawn — mower, rake, shovel and weed killer included.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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