Ray's musings and humor

The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes.

Aristotle

~~~

 debate

Hi everyone, this Monday is Labor Day in my country and it is a national holiday. Since we have picked up so many readers from outside the country I thought it was better to send something rather than just be missing in action. Instead of my working here is my Labor Day message from 2004. Enjoy. I’ll be back Tuesday.

Ray’s Daily

First Published on 9/2/2004

 I am having difficulty dealing with today’s political rhetoric. It seems to me that Vannevar Bush was on target when he said “A belief may be larger than a fact.”

Our politicians keep telling us that the American People want this, the American People want that, and that the American People believe this or that. I am not sure I have ever met any of these American People for they would have to be both for tax cuts and higher taxes, for both right-to-life and choice, for free trade and protectionism, you know the rest of it, we hear it every day. It seems like too many politicians believe that if they say it often enough it will be true, no matter what the facts, they even seem to start believing it themselves. Sadly it seems that how messages are presented and how often they are repeated does make a difference, no matter if they are true or not. It also seems that too many of my fellow citizens are committed to their current beliefs no matter what the facts may be. When you ask a specific, or an in depth question, way too many will say “I just know, that’s all,” or will repeat something they heard said over and over that justifies why they think the way they do.

If you have been following what is going on this election season you might find the game interesting. It seems the real players are the spin doctors, image consultants, and campaign strategists. It would be an insult to believe that our country would make critical choices on the basis of who had the best advertising or the slickest message; it would be an insult if it was not the way things seem to be going.

Too many of us seem to want to be left alone and not bothered with having to get the facts. Maybe those of us that can ignore reality are the illusive American People that the politicians report are for everything and against everything. Alice seems to have left Wonderland and is working its magic on us, or maybe Orwell’s characters have sprung to life.

~~~

Everyone wishes to have truth on his side, but not everyone wishes to be on the side of truth.

Richard Whately

~~~

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That’s fine,” he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.” “But aren’t you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.

“You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.

~~~

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

She wrote:

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people . . .

~~~

Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.

~~~

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills!!

“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep at night!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee. “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks…And believe me…….it helps me sleep at night!!!”

~~~

We have enough people who tell it like it is; now we could use a few who can tell it like it can be.

~~~

Lil’ Johnny’s mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank.  They were in line behind a rather obese lady.  As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.”

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile.  Lil’ Johnny received a reprimand. After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, “I bet her butt is ‘that’ wide.”

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son. Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, “Look how the fat hangs over her belt.” The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady’s pager begins to go off. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “Run for your life, she’s backing up”

~~~

I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.

~~~

Pray for a good harvest, but keep on plowing.

Nancy Otto

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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