Ray's musings and humor

Brighten Your Day

Ray’s Daily

August 7, 2018


Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard


Those of you who have been reading the Daily for some time know that I am not much of a worrier. I find worry is mostly a waste of time for the worst seldom happens. I know you have heard me say I don’t worry until it is too late and then I just have to do what needs to be done.

I would much rather enjoy life letting humor and goodwill fill my days. Some times it is worth working on adding some sunshine into our days rather than accepting gray days. Here is an abridged article that can help do just that.

How to Stop Worrying and Be Happy

By WingsfortheHeart

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by worry, you know how difficult it is to feel happy at the same time. Worry and happiness are by nature complete opposites; they cannot co-exist. When you worry, you’re focusing more on the negative side of a situation, and therefore attracting it into your life! When you’re happy, you’re not focusing on the negative side but rather affirming all that’s good in your life, and therefore attracting it!

The problem that many people face is figuring out how to minimize worry and spend more time feeling happy. Below you’ll find easy ways to transform worry into a genuine state of happiness:

Find something to laugh about. – Laughter automatically relaxes you and makes you feel less anxious. Turn on the television and watch a funny sitcom for half an hour, or pop a comedy film into the DVD player and have yourself a good belly laugh. If you’re not at home or the television isn’t available, simply play a funny movie in your mind! Think about a memory from the past that made you laugh and relive it again.

Make an investment in cheer. – Gazing at something cheerful and uplifting can ease anxiety and worry too! Buy a bouquet of flowers for your home or workspace, or purchase some soothing artwork to hang on the walls. Even a wall calendar with soothing or cheerful pictures can provide a positive focus and help ease worry.

Stimulate your senses. – Besides looking at cheerful or soothing surroundings, you may want to stimulate your other senses too. Try baking something delicious and allowing the scents of vanilla, cinnamon, or nutmeg to fill your home with warmth and comfort. Put on your favorite comfy clothes and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter what you do to ease worry, as long as you’re doing something that comforts or uplifts you and helps you to focus on happier thoughts. When you do this, you automatically blot out worry and shift immediately into a happier state of mind.

Let Go and Allow Life to FLOW…One of the simplest and fastest ways to allow more goodness into your life is to LET GO! When you let go, universal forces go to work on your behalf, delivering all kinds of wonderful surprises, opportunities, people, and resources that will help you get exactly what you want. Stop struggling and allow MORE – faster and easier.


Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.



She said: My grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.

He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “83.”

He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”


I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

Martha Washington


One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.

When he asked, the man said, ”I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm… Chicken sure sounds good tonight.”

The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.

”Well I’ll tell you,” replied the man, ”If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I’ll give them both to you.”


Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it.

Marva Collins


She told me: My mother never let me help much in the kitchen. As a result, my cooking ability was practically non-existent when I got married. But, I did remember mother mentioning to her friends that she did make cakes, pies and other things from scratch. So my first priority after the honeymoon, was to locate some scratch.

With mother’s delicious cakes in mind, my first trip to the supermarket was to buy some scratch. I found the aisle that read — Baking Items. I spent a good 15 minutes looking at everything from vegetable oil,sugar, flour and chocolate without seeing a sign of scratch. I was sure it wouldn’t be with the pickles or the meat. I asked the clerk if they carried scratch. He looked at me funny and finally said, “You’ll have to go to the store on the corner.”

When I got there, it turned out to be a feed store. I thought it rather strange, but I decided cakes were food. “Do you have scratch?” I asked the clerk.

He asked me how much I wanted. I suggested a pound or two. His reply was, “How many chickens do you have? It only comes in 20 pound bags.” I really didn’t understand why he mentioned chickens, but I had heard mother say she made chicken casserole from scratch. So, I bought 20 pounds and hurried home.

My next problem was to find a recipe calling for scratch. I went through every single page of my lovely “Better Homes and Gardens” Cookbook — a wedding gift. I looked and looked for a recipe using scratch. There I was with 20 pounds and no recipe.

When I opened the scratch, I had doubts that a beautiful, fluffy cake would ever result from such a hard looking ingredient. I hoped with the addition of liquids and heat the result would be successful. I had no need to mention my problem to my new husband. He had suggested very early in our marriage that he liked to cook and would gladly take over anytime. One day he made a pie and when I told him how good it was, he said that he made it from scratch. That assured me that it could be done.

Being a new bride is scary and when I found out he made pies, cakes, and even lemon pudding from scratch . . . . well, if he made all those things from scratch, I was sure he had bought a 20 pound bag of scratch also. But, I couldn’t find where he stored it, and I checked my supply. It was still full! At this point I was ready to give up because all the people knew about scratch except me. I decided to try a different approach. One day when my husband was not doing anything, I said, “Honey, I wish you’d bake a cake.” He got out the flour, sugar, eggs, milk and shortening. But, not a sign of scratch. I watched him blend it together, pour it into a pan and slide it into the oven to bake. An hour later, as we were eating the cake, I looked at him and smiled and said, “Honey, why don’t we raise a few chickens?”


My wife must think I’m an idiot! “Separate the white clothes from the colors.” Ha! Whether I separate them left-to-right or top-to-bottom, the washing machine will mix them all together anyway!


Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



I think he was right

Ray’s Daily

August 6, 2018


Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.

Henry David Thoreau


Today I hope to start becoming more like Henry David Thoreau and start living a less cluttered life. I, like most people, have accumulated much more stuff then I need. I am beginning by reducing my collection of Kiwanis hats, shirts, jackets and memorabilia and giving it to others who will put them back into use.

I am finding that much of my stuff really don’t contain my memories, I do. I also find that starting to return to a simpler existence feels really good. So now it begins the first steps toward a freer life.

Now is not the time to let the unknown erode my confidence. Here a few thoughts I picked up over the years on how I can stay focused on what is important.

Embrace your individuality. Try to avoid comparing yourself to others and embrace your individuality. Comparing yourself to others will not make you feel good about yourself because you are different than any other person. There’s no one out there just like you, who has grown up with your experiences and who has your talents. Focus on being the person that you want to become, not like your neighbor, the “cool” people in your school, your job, or your neighborhood. Once you define your own version of success, you’ll be able to achieve it.

Develop your confidence. Confidence is the key to feeling good about yourself and loving the person you are and will become.

  • To look more confident, perk up your body language. Stand taller, have better posture, and look straight ahead instead of at the ground. Try to sit still or stand with an open demeanor to give off a more positive, approachable vibe.
  • Find something to really excel at or work on excelling in something you already love. If you are already great at something, focus on how amazing you are for being able to do those things.

Take pride in your strengths. Every person has something that they can feel good about. Take the time to sit down and make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Think of qualities like your compassion, your sense of humor, your trustworthy character, or your work ethic.

Work on developing a positive attitude. This can be difficult. It may take time to be positive all the time, but you can make it more a part of your life. Developing a positive attitude is a decision you have to make yourself, and stick to every day. If you have a more positive attitude, then you’ll feel better about yourself, as well as your future prospects and all that you can accomplish.

Pay less attention to what others think. Care more about what you think of yourself instead of what others think of you. Focus on your own uplifting, positive thoughts about yourself instead of on others opinions about you. At the end of the day, you are the only person who has to live with himself or herself, so your opinion should matter the most.


What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.

Henry David Thoreau


A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’…perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.” The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle.” The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg.” The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the lock before the girl spoke again.

“Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. “Well, noo,” he said, “my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.”

“Really?” said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

“Aye,” said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?”


A pleasure is not full grown until it is remembered.

C.S. Lewis


A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.

She met the Tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, “Will I get away with it?”


“Economy” today means a large container of detergent or a small car.


A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man,    “Give me 100 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies.

A week later the man returns and says, “Give me 200 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies.

Again, a week later the man returns.  This time he says, “Give me 500 baby chickens.”  “Wow!” the co-op man replies, “You must really be doing well!”

“Naw,” said the man with a sigh, “I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart!”


God invented mothers because he couldn’t be everywhere at once and God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.


I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”

I said, “Where’s the car?”

She said, “In the lake.”

Henny Youngman


You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.

Henry David Thoreau


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Accept What Is

Ray’s Daily

August 3, 2018


Acceptance doesn’t mean that life gets better; it just means that my way of living life on life’s terms improves.

Sharon E. Rainey


I think one of the most important skills that helps with happy aging is the ability to roll with the punches. Most of us have learned that what may seem disastrous today will not be that bad tomorrow. One thing for sure, time waits for no one so our ability to accept reality will allow us to deal with whatever it is and move on.

And you know what? most of my tomorrows have turned out to be great, forecasted impending disasters have seldom showed up so I find little use in worry or anxiety and just look forward to my next good day.

Here is an abridged article that I like, I hope you will too.

How Rolling with Life’s Punches Contributes to A Simple Life

By Elizabeth Scott, MS

Life on earth is made up of a series of peaks and valleys—trials and victories. Fighting against the ebb and flow of what is beyond our control is as exhausting and futile as trying to manipulate the ocean’s tide. What will be will be, and there is very little over which we have any control.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “Into each life, some rain must fall.” Sometimes it is more than some rain. Sometimes it is an overwhelming flood and none of us wields the power to control the intensity of the downpour. Since these things are inevitable, the thing that matters most is how we choose to respond to them.

Here are some things to consider when life deals a hard punch and you find yourself in a particularly rainy season.

Accept reality.- Don’t overcomplicate the obvious. Even though we would prefer to pretend the storm isn’t raging, false pretense will never alter truth. As acceptance is allowed entrance into our hearts and minds, internal peace will come despite external circumstances. Acceptance removes the inward struggle and is beautifully conducive to a simple life.

Accept limitations.- Coming to terms with the fact that what is happening is beyond our own power to remedy will not take the pain away, but it will relieve and lift unnecessary feelings of responsibility. Sometimes we just can’t change or fix things, but come to find out, we were never intended to. Discovering this truth is liberating.

Accept contentment. – Believe that the pieces are falling into place according to a design far greater than your own. Don’t try to reopen closed chapters. They were closed for reasons beyond what you can see. Don’t continue to try to walk through closed doors. Move on. Trust that all things are working together for your good, and changes were necessary. Don’t fight against the plan. Relax and rest in the knowledge that things are happening exactly as they should be.


Life is accepting what is and working from that.

Gloria Naylor


For many of you this will not mean much. For myself and any others that served in the Navy in the fifties this is exactly as it was.

How to Simulate The Life Of A Sailor. . .

Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside & out, & live in it for 6 months.

Repaint your entire house every month.

Raise the thresholds & lower the headers of your front & back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays & Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays & Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can’t turn over without getting out & then getting back in.

Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle loudly, & shout “Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out & trice up.”

Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu & just ask for hot dogs.

Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. At the alarm, jump up & dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button & tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard & uncoil the garden hose.

Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget-priced coffee grounds per pot, & allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking.


A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.


Down in the south, there are many churches known as “answer back” churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.

One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.

He said “If this church is to become better, it must take up it’s bed, and walk.”

The congregation said “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”

Encouraged by their response, he went further.

“If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it’s hindrances and run!”

The congregation replied,

“Let it run, preacher, let it run!”

Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.

“If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it’s wings and fly!”

“Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!” the congregation shouts.

The Preacher gets louder.

“If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!”

The congregation replied.         “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”


At times, it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you’re a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

James G. Sinclair


There was a history professor and a psychology professor sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”

The psychology professor replied, “Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs.”


Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.     

Ann Landers


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

August 2, 2018


Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.

Rabindranath Tagore


I actually wrote this yesterday, I do have things to do today.

My daughter will be taking my wife to the doctor today so I will be able to get away to run some errands. I am also going to make it a planning day off. My wife and me have been spending so much time helping to decide our future that I am ready for a break.

So today I will work on enjoyment and preparation for the productive days ahead. Who knows as I read and relax I may even find an inspiring thought or two.

Be Inspired

Tiffany Prochera

May you be inspired today…

May you be encouraged to travel your path with sure feet, confident in your direction.

May you be spurred on to explore, to face the challenge, to go to the next level.

 May you experience many moments when you want to stand up and shout, “Hazzah! How grand this life is and I want more of it!”

May you fall asleep exhausted  but giddy with anticipation for what is to come,  as though you cannot wait until the morning to continue the adventure,  to see what glorious miracles are going to occur.

And finally, may you realize your power to create such a day and such a life for yourself for you truly do possess it.

Have an exciting day!


Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Jim Rohn


When the car engine developed a slight knock, Kerry asked her husband if he had bought premium or regular gas, but he couldn’t remember.

“You probably got the cheaper gas,” she said. “That would account for the roughness of the engine.”

“No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” he replied indignantly, “It cost the same as always. I put in the usual ten dollars’ worth.”


There are two types of roads in our country. One is under construction and the other is under repair.


My accountant father and my artist mother have very different views on balancing a checkbook. Mom usually kept the checkbook, but when Dad retired, he took over all the financial duties. He was really taken aback when he looked over the checkbook and found only dollar amounts recorded. It seems Mom hadn’t wanted to deal with any more math than she had to, so she’d eliminated the cents from every check. She’d round up if the partial dollar amounts were 50 cents or more and drop those under 50 cents. Dad feverishly went through stacks of canceled checks and registers, trying to correct her method. The difference in seven years of dollars only? Sixteen cents.




Enjoy this list of actual announcements that London tube train drivers have made to their passengers:

“Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I’ll let you know any further information as soon as I’m given any.”

“We are now traveling through Baker Street… As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don’t think about things like that”.

“Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.”

During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: “Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentlemen…Unfortunately, towels are not provided.”

“Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open.’ The two are distinct and separate instructions.”

“Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.”

“We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.”

“To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage – what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?”


“Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.”

Carl Sagan


A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents “how was I born?”

“Well honey…” said the slightly prudish parent, “the stork brought you to us.”

“OH,” said the boy. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked.

“Oh, the stork brought us too.”

“Well how were grandpa and grandma born?” he persisted.

“Well darling, the stork brought them too!” said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:

“This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.”


“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore. You may keep the cushions with our compliments.”


My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.

Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, and he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”


Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.

Kevyn Aucoin


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


It won’t be easy

Ray’s Daily

August 1, 2018



“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.”

Mahatma Gandhi


One of the things I am not looking forward to when my wife and me move to a new residence is the leaving of so many long-time acquaintances. Folks who grew from being neighbors to being friends, trades people who have always been good at offering a welcome greeting and of course the many friends in the organizations that have kept me engaged and busy.

I know I will miss them all. I know my wife and I will find new friends and participate in other activities in the months ahead but that does make saying goodbye any easier. Years ago I saved the following that helped when I left my career behind. I am sure it will help again.

4 Tips for Saying Farewell

  1. Focus on the positive. Looking back at the time spent with colleagues, it’s oddly tempting to zero in on the people who were not positive, who made working with them difficult and irritating. It might be a trick of the mind that urges us to look at what we won’t miss so we don’t feel so down about what will miss, but don’t forget to focus on the positive. Think of the good times you had with those you’re saying goodbye to and remind them of those positive experiences when you go.
  2. 2. Embrace the present. Saying goodbye often causes us to think back on the past — both the good and the bad — and dwell on it. We want to cling to the good times or feel slighted by the bad times. But life — and goodbyes — is too short for that. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on what was. Instead, focus on what is. Be grateful for where you are today and encourage others to do the same. It’s tempting to focus on the negative people and situations, but don’t go there. Instead, wish everyone — yes, everyone — well in this present moment.
  3. 3. Share your sadness. It’s okay to be sad about leaving. Don’t feel like you have to keep all of this to yourself. Find a colleague or friend you can talk to and express how you’re feeling. Change of any kind can be intimidating, but we don’t have to face it alone. Don’t underestimate or ignore your emotions. Embrace them, address them, and share them in order to overcome them.
  4. 4. Exit with grace. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of people come and go in the workplace. Most people do it with grace, but there are a few that have left angrily, quickly, harshly. No matter what your situation don’t leave in anger. Don’t leave a sour taste in the mouths of those you are saying farewell to. Instead, leave with grace. Say goodbye to those who meant the most to you. Move forward to the present and do not dwell on negative interactions you have had in the past. This is the last time you will see many of these people so leave them with a positive impression of you.


Don’t be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

Richard Bach


20 Worst Things To Hear At A Nuclear Power Plant

Fission shmission, relax, I’ll increase the water level after my coffee break.

Was that “Open valve A and close valve B” or was it the other way round?

This whole plant will be running under Windows tomorrow.

HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?

Who forgot to pay the water bill?

We got 12 seconds to WHAT????

Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.

A leak? Can’t you fix it with duct tape or something?

Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.

It’s Russian technology.

Move over Three Mile Island – here we come!!!

Sniff, sniff…. you smell that?

I used to work at Chernobyl.

All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!

It’s your turn to wax the core.

How come all the big shots are leaving?

Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?

Is this part really necessary?

OF COURSE I went to high school. Didn’t finish it, though.

Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people actually glow in the dark.


Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but moments.

Rose Kennedy


There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

“Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.

“Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady.


“I’m not sure I want popular opinion on my side

I’ve noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.”

Bethania McKenstry


She said: Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents’ occupations.

The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, “You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living.”

I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms.

When I asked why, the teacher explained, “Your daughter told the class she wasn’t sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels.”


A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.


Tom, Glenn, and Scott were working on a high rise building project. Glenn fell off and was instantly killed. As the ambulance took the body away, Scott said, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”

Tom says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”

Two hours later, Tom came back carrying a 6-pack. Scott asked, “Where did you get that, Tom?”

“Glenn’s wife gave it to me.”

“That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?”

Tom said, “Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, ‘You must be Glenn’s widow.'”

She said, “‘No, I’m not a widow.”

And I said, “Wanna bet me a six-pack?”


“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

T.S. Eliot


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


I will miss you all

Ray’s Daily

July 31, 2018


There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

Thomas Aquinas


I am finding that the toughest part of my being homebound fulfilling my caregiver responsibilities is my inability to spend time with friends. I also miss my other activities but what I am doing is worth it, my wife and I have never been closer.

My reality has resulted in my realizing how much I appreciate the people who have given me so much pleasure over the years via their friendship. I miss what I had but am grateful to have had it. I think I may have shared the following piece with you before but it is so on target I want to do it again.

Charles Schulz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

     Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.


The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.


“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in   Australia.”

Charles Schulz


A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”


I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Steven Wright


My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. “Would you like to go out, girl?” he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, “Oh, yes, I’d love to!”

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn’t until the end of the evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom’s feet on the kitchen floor.


I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.

Dave Barry


A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

“Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“It’s okay, Dad” the boy said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”


Don’t judge your wife too harshly for her weaknesses. If she didn’t have them chances are she would have never married you.


A mother was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious and took him to a psychiatrist.

“Right,” said the shrink, “We’ll just try a few simple tests.” To the boy, he said “Say a few words – anything that comes into your mind.”

The boy turned to his mother and asked, “Does he want logically constructed sentences or just a few random and purely isolated words?”


You have to dance like nobody’s watching, and love like it’s never going to hurt.


Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women’s breast implants. The I-Breast will cost $499 to $599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.


Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.


Finkelman just arrives in America and needs a job and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications. He reasons that once he finds work, he will impress the boss so much that everything will be forgiven. After a successful initial interview with the Encyclopedia of American History, he is called back to meet the sales manager.

“You say you have experience selling books?”

“Lots of it,” replies Finkelman.

“And you have a Master’s in American history from the University of Michigan?”

“Correct,” replies Finkelman. “History is my field of study.”

“Well then,” says the sales manager, “As soon as I can complete this form, we can get you started in our firm.”

While the sales manager is making a few notations, Finkelman, obviously pleased with himself, begins to whistle. Looking around the room, he notices pictures of Washington and Lincoln on the walls. Pointing to the portraits, he turns to the sales manager and says, “Fine looking men. Your partners?”


Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them… your smile, your hope, and your courage.

Doe Zantamata


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

July 30, 2018


“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”


Bright Future

As my wife and I continue the process of selecting a retirement facility with the assistance of our children I find that thinking too much about the past or speculating too much about the future is a waste of time. Not only that, losing touch with today’s reality does little good.

When we honestly evaluate our past we see that we have done pretty well doing what needed to be done, so why should now be any different. We are still together and have each other as we move on to the next phase of our lives. I look forward to discovering all that the future holds.

I think Edberg’s tips in the following article will help keep us focused

3 Simple Habits for Daily Mindfulness

by Henrik Edberg

One of the most common habits that make life miserable is to not be where you are.

What do I mean by that?

That your body is right here, right now. But that your thoughts are elsewhere in time and space.

And the more time you spend in the future or past, the more you – in my experience – tend to also:

Be ineffective. Making decisions becomes very hard if you second-guess yourself all the time or become paralyzed by all the possible outcomes. And overthinking zaps so much energy that you lose motivation to take action.

Miss life as it happens. If you are not fully here in this moment then it is very easy to miss and to not fully enjoy a victory or simply a beautiful, fun or small moment in life.

Maybe you cannot spend all of your time in the now. Because there are things you can learn from reexamining your past. And there are things you sometimes need to plan for in your future.

But the kind of obsessive or addictive way to spend so much time in a regular week in the past or future can be replaced with something smarter, more helpful and happiness-friendly.

Three habits that have helped me a lot to make that shift into being much more mindful are to:

  1. Slow down. – Start your day with doing whatever you do first in your morning slowly.

This will make it easier and more natural to keep a slower pace and to focus fully on what you are doing for the rest of your morning. And starting your day in this way will often prevent you from going into your own most common thought loops that cause worry, anger or sadness.

  1. Tell yourself: Now I am… – I often tell myself this silently in my mind: Now I am X. And X could be that I am brushing my teeth. Doing the dishes. Taking a walk and listening to the sounds around me. Just reminding myself of this helps my mind to stop wandering and it brings my focus back to just that one thing I am doing right now and nothing else.
  2. Disrupt your thoughts + quickly reconnect with the here and now. – When you catch yourself going somewhere else in the past or future with your thoughts then – in your mind – shout: STOP! Or: No, no, no, we are not going down that road again!

Then, right away after you have disrupted those thoughts find your way back to the present moment by either focusing only on what is going on around you right now with all your senses – the sights, the sounds, the smells and so on – or by focusing 100% on your breaths going in and out of your body.


“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn


When I stopped to visit a friend, I found her on the phone with a real estate agent. “That’s a little high!” she exclaimed. “What can I get for less than $500 a month?” The reply was evidently not to my friend’s liking. “I see,” she said abruptly, and hung up.

“What did the agent say you could get?” I asked.

“A car.”


Never date a woman whose father calls her “Princess”. Chances are she believes it.


The psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes.

“Just to establish some parameters,” said the leader, “Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said the student.

“And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?”


“And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?”

Bubba replied, “I believe that would be giddyup.”


She said: A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And a woman’s gotta do what he can’t.


Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils.  But to whom?  A sign posted in the Knoxville Zoo in Tennessee cautioned visitors:

“Please be safe.  Do not sit, climb, or lean on the zoo fences.  If you fall, animals could eat you, and that would make them sick.”


If God had intended women to exercise, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers


In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.

An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle.  She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.

“Just to visit a friend,” she said, “but this had taken so long, I’m not sure I have time now.”


Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.


A man returns from vacation and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the Hospital to undergo a barrage of tests.

After the tests, he wakes up in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed rings.

“This is your doctor. We got the results back from your tests and we discovered that you have a very nasty virus that is extremely contagious!”

“Oh my gosh,” cried the man, “What are you going to do, doctor?”

“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread.”

“Will that cure me?” asked the man.

The doctor replied, “Well no, but…it’s the only food we can get under the door.”


You are a success when you have made friends with your past, are focused on the present, and are optimistic about your future

Zig Ziglar


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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