Ray's musings and humor

The Best Medicine

Ray’s Daily

October 5, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.”

Old Folks

I know where a lot of happy people live, they are my neighbors here at the Forum, my new senior living home. You would think folks in their 80’s, 90’s and even the 100’s would be worn out and crotchety but you would be wrong. I think these folks have discovered that the secret to a full and long life is a positive attitude, a sense of humor and unbridled optimism.

My Doctors have decided I will benefit from some physical therapy to help me regain the strength I lost since I have not been able to work out lately. I am sure it will help but probably not as much as catching the contagious optimism of my new geriatric friends.

If you’re happy and you know it…

Most of us are really great at being miserable and noticing it. Our backs ache, our feet hurt, someone was cross with us and put us in a bad mood—there are many, many levels of knowing you’re not very pleased with life.  What most of us are not good at is noticing—and rejoicing at—those moments when all is well.

Little kids in Sunday school often sing, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.” They all clap their hands and sing with unbounded enthusiasm.  Isn’t it great that their genuine happiness can be expressed so freely?

Years ago there was a period of time when I was miserable.  It was not a long period of time and I no longer know what I thought was so terrible in my life; but I remember sitting in my rocking chair rocking my little boy and being depressed.  Then for some reason I found myself analyzing how I felt and comparing it to how I felt a few days before. I have never forgotten the illumination that dawned on me. I realized I had gone through a relatively long period when I was basically happy and content but I hadn’t even thought about that wonderful state and I hadn’t really even enjoyed it.  I vowed if I ever felt happy again I would make the most of it. A couple of days later the tides of time did return me to happiness and I did remember to realize it.

I was young back then and now I’m old but I still make a fool out of myself enjoying my happy days. I smile, I chatter, I hum, sing and whistle and most of all, I’m happy and I know it.

Betty Killebrew

~~~

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

Epictetus

~~~

One of my daughters is a teacher and I believe that the following is true:

Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher’s lounge.

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks have even been seen grading in church.

Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Real teachers wear glasses from trying to read the fine print in the teacher’s manuals.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents show up at open house.

Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a Valentine.

Real teachers know the difference between what ought to be graded, what should be graded, and what should never see the light of day.

Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.

Real teachers know that secretaries and custodians really run the school.

Real teachers know the value of a good education and are appalled upon seeing their paychecks.

Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely nonexpendable.

~~~

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

~~~

After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and La Leche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by her bedside throughout the labor delivery and wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife’s hand afterward and said emotionally. “Tell, me how it was, darling, how it actually felt to give birth.”

“OK, honey,” his wife replied. “Smile as hard as you can.” Beaming down at his wife and smile, the man followed her instsuctions. “That’s not hard.”

She continued, “Now stick a finger in each corner of you mouth.” He obeyed, smiling broadly. “Now stretch your lips as far as they’ll go,” she went on.

“Still not to tough.” he remarked.

“Right.” she snapped. “Now pull them over your head.”

~~~

A day without sunshine is like night.

~~~

A man who had been battling a mental disorder for years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first.

“Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?’

The inmate said, “It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful.”

“Marvelous,” said the head of the institution.

“Or else,” ruminated the inmate. “I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one’s life in bringing up a new generation of scientists.”

“Absolutely,” said the head.

“Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution.”

“An interesting possibility,” said the head.

“And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle.”

~~~

“A worrier always seems less troubled by what happens today than by what might happen tomorrow.”

~~~

Little Johnny’s class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object.

Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, “Teacher, everybody thinks you are very beautiful.”

“Why thank you, Little Johnny,” the teacher said, blushing.  “But what is the direct object?”

“A good report card next month,” he replied.

~~

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Let’s be friends

Ray’s Daily

October 4, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

A good neighbor-a found treasure.

Chinese Proverb

Good Frieend

One of the realities my no longer having business or volunteer obligations is having more opportunities to try new things. So far that seems to be harder than I thought. Our three meals in our residences restaurant and other chores seem to eat up a major portion of my day. Of course my early bedtime and naps seem to shorten my day.

What is now my priority is the making friends with our wonderful co-residents. In that vein I pulled up a list I saved years ago and selected items that will help me be a better neighbor.

Life is too short to live it like a bored slug. Keep yourself happy. Enjoy every moment that you have. Live it to the max. Here are some ways that will make yourself feel good about you.

  • Call an old friend, just to say hi.
  • Hold a door open for a stranger.
  • Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
  • Let someone know you miss them.
  • Let a person know you really appreciate them.
  • Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
  • Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
  • Welcome new neighbors.
  • Call someone’s attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
  • Ask someone about their children.
  • Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
  • Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
  • Be especially happy for someone when they tell you their good news.

~~~

Being a good neighbor is an art which makes life richer.

Gladys Taber

~~~

“I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”

Erma Bombeck

~~~

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and goodbye grandpa.”

The father said, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?”

The little girl said “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.  A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: “God bless mommy, God bless daddy and  good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.

My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say “God bless mommy and good-bye daddy.”

He practically went into shock. Couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get  by until midnight he  would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead  of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every  sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?” He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch.”

~~~

Follow your dream!  Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

~~~

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.

“Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man.

“Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack. “Take your axe and go cut it down.”

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack’s door. “I cut the tree down,” said the man.

The lumberjack couldn’t believe his eyes and said, “Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?”

“In the Sahara Forest,” replied the puny man.

“You mean the Sahara Desert,” said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, “Oh sure, that’s what they call it now!”

~~~

Husband: Darling, will you love me when I’m old and feeble?

Spouse:  You bet I do.

~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

~~~

Definition of good neighbor: someone to be trusted; a courteous, friendly source of help when help is needed; someone you can count on; someone who cares.

Edward B. Rust, Jr.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Another fresh start

Ray’s Daily

October 3, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Yesterday is just in the past, today is a fresh start, and tomorrow is a new beginning.

fresh start

I am still in the process of designing my new life. I have more options in my new community than I know what to do with. I am also learning how get where I need to go without my driving there.

A lot of what is going on is choosing what to drop from my activities, not an easy task. There was a recent article on the Positively Present blog entitled 5 Lessons Learned from Starting Over, it could have been written for me, here in past was what it said

TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS.

As someone who is decidedly “Type A,” control is something I love to pretend I possess. All of the organization, backing-up, and planning in the world can’t prevent life from happening, though. Situations like this one — however silly it might seem — are great reminders for those who enjoy control. They show us that, no matter what we do, things are sometimes going to fall apart or go wrong. That’s part of life and the quicker you learn to take it in stride, the quicker you’ll be able to bounce back.

STAYING POSITIVE MAKES IT MUCH BETTER.

When things are going wrong — particularly when they have a big impact on your day-to-day life — it can be tricky to stay positive, but if there’s one thing that this experience has taught me, it’s that positivity does make things better. Staying optimistic obviously didn’t fix the situation (I still had to deal with the app-less days and the reinstallation craziness), but by staying positive and knowing that, no matter how the situation ended up, I’d be able to make do, made it a lot easier to cope with.

RELYING ON ONE THING IS DANGEROUS.

Sure, it’s fine to have a favorite thing / person / etc., but it’s dangerous to rely only on one thing. Diversity — in apps and in life — is important. Don’t wait till you’ve lost your one thing to realize that. Losing Procreate for a few days prompted me to explore other drawing apps. None of them can replace my beloved Procreate, but now I’ve at least dabbled a bit in other options.

FEELING HOW YOU FEEL IS OKAY.

This was a very unexpected (but important!) lesson: I realized that it’s okay to feel how you feel, even if seems a little ridiculous. When this first happened, my first reaction was to be upset and my second was to say to myself, Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just an app. You don’t have any right to be upset about something so trivial when there are so many important things going on in the world! Just because a problem is trivial doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel something.

HAVING A FRESH START CAN BE PRODUCTIVE.

One of the best things I discovered over the past week is that, even if you don’t necessarily like it, a fresh start can be a good thing sometimes. For weeks I’d be wanting to better organize my files. I’d thought about getting rid of some old brushes I never use. I’d worried if maybe I wasn’t backing up my work frequently enough. Well, when the app crashed, I was given a chance to revisit my organization and back-up and got to start fresh with my brushes and color palettes. I even think the new brush I’m using is better than my old favorite! Yes, there are a ton of little annoyances, but there’ve been some really productive aspects of this fresh start, which is a great reminder that you never know what good things a bad situation can bring!

~~~

I know people who grow old and bitter. I want to keep making a fresh start. I don’t want them to defeat me.

Robert Wyatt

~~~

“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common.”  said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married?”

“I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract'” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”

~~~

Success is when you get what you want. Happiness is when you want what you get.

~~~

Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual Pessimistic way of thinking.

The Optimist owned a huntin’ dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat.

They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist shot down a duck.  The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.

The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, “What do you think about that?”

The Pessimist replied, “That dog can’t swim, can he?

~~~

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

~~~

Sitting at the bar after a game, Joe said to a club member, “I’m not about to play golf with Jim Walsh anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green,” said Joe.

“That’s possible.”

“Not when I had his ball in my pocket!”

~~~

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere!

~~~

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked…”doesn’t it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?”

Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”

This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him “What makes you say God did this with his left hand?”

“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God’s right hand!”

~~~

The best vitamin for making friends: B1.

~~~

A young boy called the pastor of a local “corner” church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu.

The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, “Shouldn’t you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?”

The young boy replied, “Yeah, but we didn’t want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this is that Mom has.”

~~~

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

L.M. Montgomery

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray’s Daily

October 2, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.”

Stephen R. Covey

Juggle

Some of the challenges that I have found that come with age have been that I physically I can’t do as much as I once did and that my failing eyesight and hearing result in more minor mistakes. In other words it is again time to rebalance and adjust to my new reality.

I think the secret is to not give up and stagnate but rather to find a more compatible path in order to continue to enjoy life. Some time ago I read the following article that made a lot of sense then as it still does now.

Juggle Balls

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

By Coca Cola CEO Brian Dyson

~~~

“Balance activity with serenity, wealth and simplicity, persistence with innovation, community with solitude, familiarity with adventure, constancy with change, leading with following.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

~~~

The discussion of radiator caps reminds me of an old car I once had. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I was a poor college student. I was having trouble with something I couldn’t readily identify myself, so I took it into the shop. The mechanic looked at it a couple of minutes and said, “What you really need is the radiator cap solution.” “Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too confused. “Do you mean the radiator cap isn’t holding enough pressure?” “That’s part of the problem” he said. “You need to lift the radiator cap and drive another car under it. Then the next day you can replace the radiator cap, and it should solve your problem.”

~~~

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?”  He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. “The evening was a disaster,” he moaned. “Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother. “Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook.”

~~~

Why do we press harder on the remote when we know the battery is dead?

~~~

Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, “What is three times three?” “297,” was her prompt reply. “Ummm humm,” says the doc.

The doctor says to the lady, “It’s your turn now. What is three times three?” “Friday,” replies the second lady. “Ummm humm…”

Then the doc says to the third, “Okay, mam, your turn. What’s three times three?” “Nine,” says she. “That’s wonderful!” says the doc. “Tell me, how did you get that?” “Simple,” she says, beaming… “I subtracted 297 from Friday!”

~~~

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

~~~

Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day.  The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blonds!”

~~~

TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?

SASHA: A new bike.

~~~

The wife chewed out her husband at the company picnic awhile back. “Doesn’t it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times???”

“Not a bit,” the husband replied. “I just tell them I’m filling up the plate for you!”

~~~

Of course I’m against sin; I’m against anything that I’m too old to enjoy.

~~~

The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn’t until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.

~~~

“A time for everything: A time to relax and a time to be busy, a time to frolic and a time to labor, a time to receive and a time to give, a time to begin and a time to finish.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thank you all

Ray’s Daily

October 1, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Mitch Albom

communicate

Here we go again and Ray is worn out so I am again sending a Daily from the archive.

Ray’s Daily first published on October 1, 2007

 I ran into a friend at the theater Saturday night and he introduced me to his wife who I had not met before. She has been a subscriber to the daily for sometime and shared with me that she regularly forwards copies to her daughter. If you forward to others as well I will be glad to add them to the distribution and save you the trouble.

I shared with her that I sometimes wonder about the daily and why I have been doing it for more than six years. I told her that it makes me think every day and that helps. Later I thought more about it and realized that I am pleased that it seems to have meaning to many of our thousand or so readers. That triggered me to go back and look at some of the comments made by some of the people who read it on my 360 Blog. Here are samples:

You describe life in the way as I look at it, I cram as much as i can into my days and rest at night, I am constantly wanting to feed my brain. I am like a bright torch and shine it all over the place, there is so much to see and do that you have to keep on with it all, I say if you don’t use it you loose it. Thanks for the interesting Blogs.

Paula – UK

I recently experienced so many problems this last weekend with a vehicle I purchased but through it all I knew that the problems I had were minor and was glad I had funds to carry me through. I was lucky when comparing myself to others and so I just refused to let it get me down. I just count my blessings for what I have and move forward. A lovely story as usual about Ashley. Sometimes you have to be reminded that what is happening to you is minor when compared to others.

Barb – Minnesota

Ray, thank you very much for those words on defeat. My son, then a few weeks later his girlfriend, experienced a disappointing “defeat. One did not get an important scholarship that he had worked hard for and the other didn’t get the job she interviewed well for and would have been a great opportunity in her field. They are inconsolable. If you don’t mind, I will send them your words.

Heather – Ontario, Canada

I enjoyed reading your Blog, Ray! Got me reflecting about my tendency to indulge in self-pity…

Tanya – Philippines

Praise be to God for that. I need integrity and honesty in order to move on.

Edward – Uganda

“The true way to soften one’s troubles is to solace those of others.” So right! You soften everyone’s troubles with your great posts.

Gaby – Pennsylvania

~~~

What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.

Dalai Lama

~~~

A Jewish kid informs his father that he’s decided to join the army rather than go into business.

His father inquires, “What kind of job could you have in the army?

The young man replies, “Well, I start out as a private, but I could get to corporal or sergeant.

“Corporal…sergeant….” the father says, “that’s no business.”

“I could become a lieutenant or maybe captain,” the young man responded.

“Lieutenant…captain….that’s no business!” father said.

“OK dad”, he replied. “How about getting promoted to major, or colonel, or general?”

“Still no business,” the father insisted. “Where could you go after general?

The son answered, “I could become field marshal.

The old man says, “Field marshal… that’s no business. Marshall Fields, now that’s a business.

~~~

A father found his small son looking very unhappy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

The boy said, “I can’t get along with your wife.”

~~~

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’ wife and taken illegal drugs. I was appalled, but as the days went on, I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk.

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

~~~

I asked my psychiatrist if she thought I was crazy, she said “no”, so I let her up.

~~~

If you’re a woman…

Top 10 things only women understand

  1. Cats’ facial expressions.
  2. The need for the same style of shoes indifferent colors.
  3. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
  4. Fat clothes.
  5. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
  6. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
  7. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
  8. Eyelash curlers.
  9. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

  1. OTHER WOMEN

~~~

A ten year old boy was walking home with a girl in his class when he said, “Pammy, you’re the first girl I have ever loved.”

Pammy responded, “Great, that’s all I need is another beginner.”

~~~

A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated.

“Is he a relative of yours?” the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.

“No,” replied the man, “That’s my ball!”

~~~

If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.

Mitsugi Saotome

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Enjoy the journey

Ray’s Daily

September 28, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path.

Don’t worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest”

star shine

I have a full day today so I hope you will be OK with another Ray’s Daily reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 28, 2006

As some of you know I spend much of my time with others who are in the process of deciding what they want to do with the rest of their lives. As I am sure you know it is not an easy task. Too many of us get lost in the process, someone tells us to go that way, another sends us someplace else, and our past tries to keep us on the same path we have always been on. Way too often the range of choices we have available to us is so debilitating that we just give up and stay in the same old rut.

If we are to venture off in a new direction, we don’t need a map, we can make our own. Every step we take may seem to lead in a wrong direction but that is never the case, each step is progress and if we take a wrong turn we just backtrack and follow the other path. Often it is not the destination that rewards us but the journey itself. Everything we see and learn along the way helps to make our journey more worthwhile.

 I know one thing that is absolutely true; if you don’t start you will never get there. If you don’t know where and when to start, don’t worry about it just start somewhere. Progress is made by discovering barriers and finding paths. Life is to be explored and if you don’t want to enrich the journey all you have to do is stay put, close down your dreams, and be satisfied ending up where you are. But if you do you will miss more than you know.

 But if you take the journey you will find as you progress you will gather momentum and discover navigational skills you never knew you had. Who knows you might find that your magic place is really not that far away. By the way, if you do start soon look for me, I’ll be the guy alongside the road who waves and wishes you bon voyage.

~~~

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

Buddha

~~~

One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however.

“The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

“How wonderful!” the friend exclaimed.  “What do you think caused the change in behavior?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” the grandmother replied.  “This year I didn’t sign the checks.”

~~~

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:

“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

~~~

She said: Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson Jermon was constantly hungry, I went to the ‘fridge to find something he might like. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. “Hey, Jermon,” I called out excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. “Look! I found some chili.” Struggling to be polite, he said, “If you’re that surprised, I’m not really sure I want it.”

~~~

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

~~~

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen.

“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Gramma asked him.

“I can’t get any water from that water hole, “Gramma!” exclaimed Johnnie. “there’s a big ol’ alligator down there waiting for me!”

“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnnie. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt anyone. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”

“Well, Gramma,” replied Johnnie, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”

~~~

They say you can’t have too much of a good thing. I wish I’d been part of that study.

~~~

At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the Bishop presiding noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but he didn’t have time to inquire before the Mass began.

When it came time for the announcements, the Bishop’s curiosity got the better of him. He welcomed the two Rabbis and asked why they had chosen to be present at this occasion where the young ladies were to become the “Brides of Christ.”

The elder of the Rabbis slowly rose to his feet and explained, “Family of the Groom.”

~~~

Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.

William Penn

~~~

A young man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing inconsolably.

“I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s lucky you have,” said the woman, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

~~~

He who is outside the door has already got a good part of his journey behind him.

Dutch proverb

~~~

He said: The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar. “Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got his food.”

~~~

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde

~~~

The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.   “I’m losing my memory, Doctor,” he sobbed. “What should I do?”

“Pay me in advance.”

~~~

Ever notice how kids learn to drive a car in no time, but cannot understand the workings of the lawn mower, snow blower, or vacuum cleaner?

~~~

“I play golf in the low 80’s,” the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club.

“Wow,” said the young man, “that’s pretty impressive.”

“Not really,” said the little old man. “Any hotter and I’d probably have a stroke.”

~~~

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

~~~

“The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance.

Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path.”

Jim Rohn

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Fun Day

Ray’s Daily

September 27, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“Life is but a moment in the realm of all eternity, so have a little fun every day.”

Van Orden

Have Funjpg

Yesterday I turned in my driver’s license because of my failing eyesight, so no more driving for me but also no more car to worry about or pay for. The only problem was that the temporary identification the State provided me with had a picture of an old guy on it, I wish they would thave used my picture since I sure don’t think I look that old.

One of the mysteries that haunts me these days is why since I have little must I don’t have enough time to do all I would like to do.

I think part of the problem is while I take a fifteen-minute nap the clock moves ahead an hour or more. I think I’ll see if these tips help.

How to Stay Young

Author Unknown

  1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them’
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER…

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by  the moments that take our breath away.

~~~

Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you’re alive, it isn’t.

Richard Bach

~~~

“Why the big smile?” Bill asked his buddy, Jim.

“My wife just ran off with my best friend.” Jim replied.

“Do I know him?” Bill inquired.

“No.” Jim replied. “And neither do I!”

~~~

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”

William Feather

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

~~~

Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning.

“I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog.”

~~~

In Cork County Ireland, a bum came up to old Hogan and asked for a handout.  Hogan replied, “Ye’ll only waste the money, you will.”

“No,” replied the bum, “I need it for food.  I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I sure don’t gamble.”

“Aye,” Hogan replied, “in that case, if you’ll be comin’ back to my house, I’ll give you a whole pound.”

The bum was agreeable, and in a few minutes they were at the door of Hogan’s house.  Mrs. Hogan opened the door, took a look at the pair of them and said, “Aye!  And what would this be about then?”

Hogan said to his wife, “I just wanted to show you somebody who doesn’t smoke, drink, or gamble!”

~~~

She said, every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up. You don’t know where it’s been.

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heels in love with him, even though he was a married man.

“Oh, sweetie,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”

Taking her by the shoulders, the lawyer proceeded to scold her for her lack of discretion and good judgment. “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”

“No…no…” she sobbed, heartsick.

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”

~~~

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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