Ray's musings and humor

I am concerned

Ray’s Daily

October 2, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

You can’t take good health for granted.

Jack Osbourne

Don't Fall

As you know I seldom worry but I am now. You see my wife has fallen a number of times recently and I am concerned that I will not be able to meet all her care needs. We may need additional help, today she is seeing her Doctor to find out if there is a correctable cause. She needs to use her walker all the time but often does not do so which increases her fall risk..

We have not been apart for more than 66 years and I hate to think about us being separated because of her health needs. So I am waiting with the hope that something will be found that will help regain her strength and balance.

Years ago I copied the following to help in situations like this. I’ll keep referring to it until her situation improves.

10 Affirmations to Recover From Disappointment

by Andrea Schulman

  1. I may be able to fix this/find this/change this later when I’m feeling better.
  2. Sometimes problems work themselves out without my needing to do anything.
  3. Things usually work out for me in the end.
  4. There’s no use in crying over spilled milk.
  5. The only way I can make this better right now is to relax.
  6. I’ve had disappointments before, and I’ve always managed to be ok.
  7. Things aren’t always what they seem.
  8. Anything is possible with a positive attitude.
  9. It isn’t what happens, it’s how I react that matters.
  10. There are still a lot of things that are going very well for me right now.

Using affirmations to calm yourself in the midst of disappointment can be extremely effective. This strategy is so powerful you may even find that sometimes it eliminates your reason for being disappointed in the first place! You may suddenly find what you’ve lost, or come across a solution to your problem. At the very least, you will start to feel better. The simple act of taking a broader, more positive perspective can have quick and amazing effects!

~~~

There’s nothing more important than our good health – that’s our principal capital asset.

Arlen Specter

~~~

REAL EXCUSES FOR DRIVING ACCIDENTS

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran him over.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I collided with a stationary truck which was coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

~~~

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

~~~

Two professors of mathematics were staring away at the flag pole in front of the front of the college building. A professor of Physics walking by asked, “What seems to be the problem?”

“We were wondering,” said the mathematicians, “how to measure the height of this flag pole.”

The professor of Physics set about unscrewing the pole from its moorings, laid it on the ground, borrowed a measuring tape and said, “It is exactly 20 feet long,” and walked away smoking his pipe.

Staring after the Physics professor, one mathematician remarked to the other, “Smart Alec. We wanted to know the height, and he tells us the length!”

~~~

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

~~~

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.  She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

“Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry.  Could you check me out, please?”

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, “Ummmm, Not bad.”

~~~

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her …or something like that.

~~~

More things I learned from the movies:

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition — even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade at any time of the year.

If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath. Even if it’s the middle of the afternoon.

If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically pressing the cradle switch and saying, “Hello? Hello?”

~~~

An 8-year-old is being punished and sits in the corner of the dining area at a table set especially for her. The rest of the family is ignoring her, until they hear her giving thanks.

She says, “I thank thee, Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.”

~~~

Maintaining good health should be the primary focus of everyone.

Sangram Singh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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Thanks for caring

Ray’s Daily

October 1, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

“Compassion is passion with a heart.”

18-1-2_can_you_be_too_compassionate_image

I think the thing I appreciate the most in the community where my wife and I now reside is how compassionate so many of my fellow residents and the staff are. My wife is somewhat frail these days and her memory is not what it once was. The compassion shown by our resident friends have boosted her sense of wellbeing.

I am learning everyday just how important it is for us to show honest concern for each other. Many become isolated and lonely as we age, wondering if anyone really cares. I have found that listening without being judgmental while showing empathy can make a significant difference in another’s life. All it takes is compassion.

Compassion

Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, mental, or emotional pains of another and themselves. Compassion is often regarded as having sensitivity, an emotional aspect to suffering, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice, and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity also based on sound judgment. Compassion involves “feeling for another” and is a precursor to empathy, the “feeling as another” capacity for better person-centered acts of active compassion; in common parlance active compassion is the desire to alleviate another’s suffering.

Wikipedia

What Are The Benefits Of Compassion?

Most people perform compassionate acts without the thought of reward. But there are benefits to behaving with compassion:

  1. Brings happiness – Seeing money going to charity activates the same pleasure center in the brain that triggers when charity is given to us.
  2. More attractive – Men and women both ranked compassion as an attractive trait in a potential mate.
  3. Elevates everyone’s mood – Seeing people helping each other creates a state of elevated empathy and compassion for everyone around.
  4. Spreads like a chain reaction – Compassionate acts inspire others to demonstrate kindness and generosity.
  5. Boosts health and longevity – Creating positive connections to others can boost a person’s health and make them more resistant to illnesses.
  6. Breaks through our own anxiety and depression – If you’re feeling anxious or depressed, try changing your focus. Helping others can pull you out of negative feelings and help you gain perspective.

Mindvalley

~~~

“There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.”

John Connolly

~~~

Sally took Benny to a celebratory dinner at a really posh restaurant. They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maître d’, and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal.

Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Benny unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back.

Staring at him, the maitre d’ said, between gritted teeth, “Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?”

~~~

“A new poll shows that 54% of women said they would rather have a perfect body than a genius IQ. I guess with a genius IQ, they can do whatever they want. With a perfect body, you can get somebody else to do whatever you want.”

Jay Leno

~~~

There was this couple, Mary and John, who believed they would return in another life.

They got married and, as part of their wedding vows, promised that if one died, the other would attend a seance exactly four weeks later and contact the other.

Twenty happy years later, the man dies, and the woman, Mary, sticks to her vow and visits a seance four weeks later. It went something like this:

Mary: “Is there anybody there? I’m seeking my deceased husband John. Is he there?”

Strange, booming voice: “Mary? Is that you, Mary?”

Mary: “Yes John, is that you?”

John: “Yes, it’s me.”

Mary: “How are things where you are, John? What’s it like?”

John: “Great, Mary. Everyday after breakfast we make love until lunchtime, which lasts about half-hour, then we make love until dinner. After dinner, we make love until we fall asleep. It’s great. I can’t wait until you get here.”

Mary (shocked): “Is that what Heaven’s like?”

John: “I’m not in Heaven.”

Mary (fearing the worst): “Then where are you?”

John: “I’m a rabbit in Florida!”

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”

~~~

A witness was testifying before the court, and the prosecuting attorney was asking him questions.

“You witnessed the robbery, sir?”

“Yes”

“What was stolen?”

“Two televisions”

“Did you see the thieves?”

“Yes”

“Could you identify them?”

“Yes”

“Are the two men who stole the televisions in this courtroom?”

At this point, the two defendants raised their hands.

~~~

“Let our hearts be stretched out in compassion toward others, for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Here comes October

Ray’s Daily

September 30, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

“Even if something is left undone, everyone must take time to sit still and watch the leaves turn.”

Elizabeth Lawrence

Leaves

I am running behind this morning so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 30, 2010.

My special assignment yesterday took me to an Orchid Nursery and to a large colorful garden in another location that hosts weddings and other events for people from all over the world. I also visited one of the Midwest’s largest landfills. Why the mix? It was because they were all located in the center of the state well off the beaten track and near each other. I saw a lot and I learned a lot. I am glad that I am provided opportunities to discover things I would never select to visit on my own.

Can you believe it, October tomorrow? I think I am in some kind of time warp things are moving so fast. If you are in the right region make sure you stop and listen to the leaves turn color in the weeks ahead, you’ll need to listen with your eyes.

Since I thought I better get a jump on planning I downloaded some of the October opportunities to consider. October is:

Dental Hygiene Month – In my cast this is a “protect your investment” exercise since I have spent a lot more than I paid for my first new car on dental work this year.

Let’s Talk Month – Advocates for Youth – This is worthy effort if you can find a kid that will talk to you and also explain what they said.

Talk About Prescriptions Month – What can this be about? I am an old guy so I am always talking about prescriptions with others my age. Hey, we have to talk about something that does not require memory.

Book Month – Only one book? I wonder which one.

Car Care Month – Let your car know you care, five it a hug.

Dessert, Pasta, Pizza, Sausage Month – Thanks a lot! Now that I have diabetes you offer to overload me on carbs.

Seafood Month – OK, this works. What I am sorry about is that it took me so long to find out just how good fish can be.

Energy Awareness Month – When ever I have any I am not only aware I am also surprised.

UNICEF Month – Seriously the years I worked on global projects with UNICEF proved to me how effective they are. If you are in the US there will be kids with orange boxes collecting as part of Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF, I hope when you get a chance you will donate. I know I will.

~~~

“Just before the death of flowers,

And before they are buried in snow,

There comes a festival season

When nature is all aglow.”

Author Unknown

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Seen on a headstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

          Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

SUCCESS

    At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

At age 35 success is . . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 60 success is . . . having sex.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

~~~

She said, my mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on Jury duty…

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

What the Store-employees really mean…

  1. “Can I help you get a size?”

Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.

  1. “Do you need help with anything?”

Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

  1. “Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>”

Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.

  1. “Have a nice day!”

Now that you ruined mine

  1. “Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>>”

Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

  1. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?”

The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

  1. “I love your shirt! Where did you get it?”

Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you even shopping here?

  1. “Can I help you get something down?”

I’ll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.

  1. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it”

You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

  1. “No, we don’t have any more in the back”

I just don’t want to check

~~~

“October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen.

It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.”

Hal Borland

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Use it wisely

Ray’s Daily

September 27, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

Every second is of infinite value.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

time

I am almost finished with a week filled with activities. I am ready for a weekend of rest and relaxation. Usually weekends are also filled with things to do or places to go, thank goodness not this weekend. I will continue to brush off my fall wardrobe as we move into October. These days I try to make sure my time is well spent. Besides our daily get together via Ray’s Daily. I also benefit by time spent with old and new friends and in the offered by our senior residence. daily activities .

Here is a piece written by an unknown author that I got from a good friend that we all need to understand.

 The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the Following *PRIZE* in a contest:

Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 In your private account for your use. However, this prize has Rules:

The set of Rules:

  1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
  2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
  3. You may only spend It.
  4. Each morning upon awakening, The bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that Day.
  5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!” It can close the account And you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally Do?

You would buy anything and Everything you wanted right?  Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.  Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL…   Shocked ???    YES!

Each of us is already a winner Of this *PRIZE*. We just can’t seem to see it. The PRIZE is *TIME*

  1. Each morning we awaken to Receive 86,400 seconds As a gift of Life.
  2. And when we go to sleep at Night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.
  3. What we haven’t used up that Day is forever lost.
  4. Yesterday is forever Gone.
  5. Each morning the account is Refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING…

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much More than the same amount in dollars. 

Think about it and remember to Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than You think. So take care of yourself, be Happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here’s wishing you a wonderful And beautiful day. Start spending….

~~~

How we spend our days, is, of course, how we spend our lives.

Annie Dillard

~~~

There was this blonde city-girl who was out driving and found herself in a rural area. She noted a farm animal standing next to a farmer and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question.

“Sir,” she inquired, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?”

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone. “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ’em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”

~~~

Two kinds of people on earth can be seen: the people who lift and the people who lean.

Ella Wheeler-Wilcox

~~~

There was this blonde city-girl who was out driving and found herself in a rural area. She noted a farm animal standing next to a farmer and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question.

“Sir,” she inquired, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?”

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone. “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ’em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”

~~~

Two kinds of people on earth can be seen: the people who lift and the people who lean.

Ella Wheeler-Wilcox

~~~

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?”

“Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Morris.

Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?”

“No, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!” quickly answers the rabbi.

Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.

“I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?”

To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, “By all means, my good man. By all means.”

~~~

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

~~~

Gerry walks into Saul’s tailors and asks how much are his made to measure suits.

‘$200 dollars’ answers Saul.

‘OK’ says Gerry ‘but I don’t need the buttons so get rid of them, and you can leave out the pockets too, oh and while you are at it I don’t want any lining either. Forget about the pockets in the pants too and leave out the zipper I can use a pin. No need for any belt loops or suspender buttons and you might as well leave out the hook and eye. Now how much will it be?’

Saul thought for a while then answered ‘$400 dollars’.

‘My Life! says Gerry, ‘that’s twice as much as before’.

‘I know’ says Saul ‘ But all those alterations

~~~

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Enjoy what you can

Ray’s Daily

September 26, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. …

life

I get asked once in a while how come I don’t get depressed because of the limitations imposed by old age. I find that it is a waste of time worrying about what I can’t do, I concentrate on what I can do.

Of course, I do find a daily nap to be refreshing. I also spend part of my day fulfilling my caregiver duties, I am glad to be able do some good. I also have been rewarded by visits from some of you, my old friends.

So what else? Like most of us there is a lot more that I don’t know than I do know. So, I enjoy the time I have to learn what I can and while keeping up with our troubled world. All in all, I am fine and my days are good as I hope yours are.

Here is a piece I may have shred with you before, if I did it is worth repeating.

Promise yourself

  • To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
  • To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
  • To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
  • To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
  • To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
  • To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
  • To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
  • To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
  • To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

C.D. Larson

~~~

I am strengthened by my weaknesses. I am brave because of my fears. I am greater because of my mistakes. life goes on, forget the past.

Nishan Panwar

~~~

Dear Diary,

For my 40th birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.  Although I m still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.  My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!  The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress…

Monday – Started my day at 6:00 am.  Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it! When I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!  Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines.  She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill.  She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.

Very inspiring.  Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday: – I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air – then she put weights on it!  My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile! Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!!  It’s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday: – The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.   I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.  Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try  to steer or stop.  I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster.

Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other junk too.

Thursday: – Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.  I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.  Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells.  When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men’s room.  She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine – which I sank.

Friday: – I hate that heifer Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.  Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader.  If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.  Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps.  I don’t have any triceps!  And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.)  The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday: – Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.  Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner.  However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather  Channel.

Sunday: – I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over  I will also pray that next year my wife, (the devil), will choose a gift for me that is fun – like a root canal or a vasectomy.

~~~

“You can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you have all the facts, you cannot make proper judgments about what is going on.”

Harry S Truman

~~~

She said: Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped.

Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men’s room and found himself confronted by two marked doors.  One was labeled “Bronco,” and the other was designated “Cactus.”

Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. “Excuse me; I need to use the restroom,” Dave said.  Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, “Which one should I use?”

“Actually, we would prefer you to go there,” the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked “Men.”  “Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms.”

~~~

You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, It belongs to you.

Josh Shipp

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Stop!

Ray’s Daily

September 25, 2019

http://rays’daily.com

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”

– Elbert Hubbard

Stop-worrying-and-start-living

I hope all is well with you. We have a big day planned, topped off by an old friend’s birthday. We are joining with some of her other friends from here at our residence at her favorite restaurant. She and my wife walked the mall together for many years in the past. We are going to celebrate her ninetieth birthday and enjoy the event.

Today I want to share with you some suggestions written by Lolly Daskal on how we can free our selves from the burdans of useless worry. I gave up worrying a long time ago and appreciate her thoughts.

If You Want to Be Truly Happy, Stop Worrying About These 24 Things in Your Life

Here are 24 of the top troublemakers. How many do you need to let go of for the sake of your own happiness?

  1. Trying to be someone you’re not. If you have to fake it, you’re probably never going to make it.
  2. Telling yourself it’s too late. It’s never too late to make a positive difference.
  3. Having to be right all the time. It’s OK to be wrong or not to know, and it’s OK to say so.
  4. Speaking badly about yourself. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.
  5. Passivity without progress. If you allow yourself to be a bystander in your own life, how do you expect anything to happen?
  6. Riddled with guilt. No amount of guilt can change the past or the future.
  7. Negativity without positivity. Develop a positive mindset, thought, and the impossible becomes possible.
  8. Conditional approval. Let go of the people who make you feel you have to be someone you’re before they will accept or appreciate you.
  9. Envy breeds jealously. Don’t walk around being envious of what other people have or do.
  10. Exploding with pressure. Teach yourself to stay calm and unpressured and you’ll be happier–and get more done.
  11. The need for control. Trying to control things that lie outside your power is a waste of time and a major source of unhappiness.
  12. Blaming others. You alone are responsible for your own life and your own happiness.
  13. Regret lasts forever. Make it a rule to let go of regrets and never look back.
  14. Allowing fear to rule. Fear can never give you what you want or make you happy. Instead it cripples your visions and impedes your success.
  15. The need for approval. The only permission, the only validation, the only acceptance, and the only opinion that matters are your own.
  16. Anger as an expression. Anger accomplishes little besides giving away the energy you need for positive growth.
  17. Mediocrity as a state of mind. The difference between excellence and mediocrity is more than worth the effort.
  18. Excuses no more. If you want something to happen, make it happen..
  19. Depending on others for happiness. If you can’t find happiness within yourself, you’re not going to find it in anyone else.
  20. 20. Procrastination is a habit. If you wait to get it done, it will never happen.
  21. Old baggage is heavy to carry. We’ve all been wronged, pained, and challenged–we all come with baggage. But trying to carry it everywhere is hard. The less of you carry, the farther you will go.
  22. Insecure feelings that keep you playing small. It pushes away happiness, steals happiness, and keeps you from being who you’re meant to be.
  23. Judgmental thoughts. The things we judge most harshly in others are the things we don’t want to face within ourselves.
  24. Comparison game. Let go of thinking everyone has their act together but you. The truth is they don’t–and the way to be happy is to concentrate on yourself.

Today is the day to let all the things that make you unhappy go and the things that make you happy stay.

~~~

“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.”

Joseph Cossman

~~~

Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. We used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci-Annie was only a torso to allow for storage in a carrying case.

As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked, “Are you all right?”

He then put his ear over the mannequin’s mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, “She said she can’t feel her legs!”

~~~

“Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers?

Men don’t like flowers. I’ve been wearing a great scent. It’s called New Car Interior.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn’t like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn’t often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit’s wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could!

~~~

Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

~~~

Recently, a young woman came into my friend John’s insurance office with her newborn twins. John asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.

She gave him a funny look before responding, “No, I haven’t had any problem. This is Benjamin and this is Elizabeth.”

~~~

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”

George F. Burns

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Welcome

Ray’s Daily

September 24, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.

William Cullen Bryant

 happy-fall

It is now autumn and the beginning of the journey between summer and winter. I am glad to bid the often-torrid days of the past few months farewell as the pleasant warmth of fall brings brings its luster. Soon we will be dazzled as as trees begin their winter rest. by the brilliant colors

I thrive in the cooler weather of the season. I also enjoy wearing my autumn wardrobe with its comfortable sweaters and jackets. Soon the fireplaces in our residence will be relight adding warmth to the conversations of our friends and neighbors.

Here is the story behind the new seasons that I picked up from Newsweek.

Autumn

For some parts of the United States, the start of fall may feel more like a summer day, but soon the leaves will change and it will be time for sweaters and pumpkins. Until then, some people may have to settle for photos and quotes to get them in the autumnal mood.

Yesterday was the official start of the fall season, which was marked by the equinox. Occurring only twice a year–once in spring and once in fall–during an equinox there are nearly equal parts daylight and darkness in the course of the day.

The first day of fall varies from year to year but often occurs sometime between September 22 and September 24.

~~~

Now Autumn’s fire burns slowly along the woods and day by day the dead leaves fall and melt.

William Allingham

~~~

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teen-ager who wants to stay out all night?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

~~~

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left.

Later, the wife’s roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”

~~~

The reason 30+ year old women get carded when they buy alcohol is that the cashiers and bag boys make bets on how OLD you really are and someone has to find out.

~~~

Your Honor,” she told the judge, “I want a divorce. My husband has been cheating on me.”

“That is a serious accusation,” the judge said. “Do you have any evidence to substantiate this claim of your husband’s infidelity?”

“Yes, Your Honor. Just last night I was walking down Broadway when I saw him go into a movie with another woman.”

“Who was this other woman?” the judge asked. “I don’t know. I never saw her before.”

“Then why didn’t you follow them into the theatre and find out who she was. It may have been just a harmless coincidence. You should have gone in after them.”

“I would have,” she explained, “but the fellow I was with had already seen the picture.”

~~~

“The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.”

Steven Wright

~~~

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house.

Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy’s mother looked straight into is eyes and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of cake.”

“No,” replied Tommy, “but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without me asking.”

~~~

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

~~~

Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

“The day before I die, I’d like to sell every piece we’ve got just to see how much it’s all worth.”

“But you couldn’t possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it.”

“Simple: If I sell it, my wife would kill me!”

~~~

“Please, sir,” pleaded the stranger, “Would you be so kind as to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can’t find work? All I have in the world is this gun.”

~~~

I was drinking in the surroundings: air so crisp you could snap it with your fingers and greens in every lush shade imaginable offset by autumnal flashes of red and yellow.”

Wendy Delsol, Stork

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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