Ray's musings and humor

She got me

Ray’s Daily

October 13, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”

Bill Cosby

girl talking on phone clipart

Ray’s Daily first published on October 13, 2006

I don’t know why but for some reason I woke up very early this morning and started to think about how uncomfortable I am when others are embarrassed, do something dumb, or stumble and how funny it is when I do the very same things. In fact some of my most embarrassing moments are my funniest memories.

 My all time favorite “get Ray” event took place many years ago. I was home alone on a Saturday and I got a call from a phone company solicitor. She asked if I had heard about their brand new offerings. I said I had and to impress her went on to say they are Call Waiting, Call Forwarding and Three way calling. She complimented me on being so up on the times and excitedly told me that I was very fortunate for she was offering the complete package for one low price and that they would even waive the set-up costs. I thanked her profusely and said I was sorry but I could not see how I could use them. I told her she was the first person who had called me in months so call waiting would not help me. I went on to tell her that since I never go anywhere I wouldn’t have any place to forward my calls. I finished by letting her know I had no friends so I would only be able to use three way calling with strangers and they might not like that. So of course that ended the call, leaving me feeling pretty good that I had made her turn down so interesting.

That is I felt good about it up until a few weeks later. Again on a Saturday, again home alone, and again the phone rang. The caller told me she was the gal who had called for the phone company two weeks earlier. She went on to tell me that she had some news for me. Of course at this point I am starting to get uncomfortable but the worst was yet to come. She said, “Mr. Mitchell I told my coworkers about you and how you had no friends and seldom went out and they felt so bad about it that they all chipped in and bought you a membership in a friendship club.” To say the least I am now squirming and it took all my willpower not to pee in my pants. I hemmed and hawed, muttered something about moving to Alaska or some such excuse. She expressed disappointment that I was not ready for the club but she understood and said she would have a lady from the club stop by my house to tell me more.

 I don’t remember how I was able to get off the phone, but I do remember I was in shock and wondering what my wife was going to think when she found out I had run away to Alaska. Fortunately I was let off the hook. It turns out that the caller was a sorority sister of my oldest daughter who I had often kidded in the past. She paid me back big time and got me good. And after the dust settled I realized how funny it all was and what a great job she had done.

Since that time I have learned that the best way to handle the dumb things I do is just to laugh at myself and move on. But nothing will ever be as good as when my daughter’s friend Vicky made sure that I don’t take myself too seriously.

~~~

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Erma Bombeck:

~~~

Flying Rules

No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.

If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee.

If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

The crying baby on board is always seated next to you.

The best-looking woman/man on your flight is never seated next to you.

The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

~~~

I must have told you a zillion times, don’t exaggerate!

~~~

I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.

~~~

I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?

~~~

Office rules

If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do.

The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

~~~

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?

There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey

~~~

A Rabbi waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front Of the service station.

Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant Pump. “Rabbi” said the young man, “sorry about the Delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The rabbi chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

~~~

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

Alexander Pope

~~~

A husband and wife were arguing about an investment the husband wanted to make. In the midst of the argument, he pointed out that men had better judgment than women. “Well, I guess you’re right about that,” replied the wife. “You asked me to marry you and then I said yes!”

~~~

And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.

And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

Friedrich Nietzsche

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Priorities

Ray’s Daily

October 12, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.

Art Buchwald

What I don’t understand is why I have less that I must do and I don’t have enough time for all I would like to do. I know I could do better if I set priorities and avoided distractions. But I find the distractions halp me recharge.

So you know what? While I will continue to do my best with my time management I will continue to use some of it for rest and recreation.

Here is an article I may have sent before, it reminds us how we use our time is up to us.

Our priorities matter

“Imagine you had a bank account that deposited $86,400 each morning. The account carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every dollar each day!

We all have such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever time you have failed to use wisely. It carries over no balance from day to day. It allows no overdraft so you can’t borrow against yourself or use more time than you have. Each day, the account starts fresh. Each night, it destroys an unused time. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, it’s your loss and you can’t appeal to get it back.

There is never any borrowing time. You can’t take a loan out on your time or against someone else’s. The time you have is the time you have and that is that. Time management is yours to decide how you spend the time, just as with money you decide how you spend the money. It is never the case of us not having enough time to do things, but the case of whether we want to do them and where they fall in our priorities.”

~~~

Do we need more time? Or do we need to be more disciplined with the time we have?

Kerry Johnson

~~~

A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing.

“First you put your hand up, like you’re turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left,” said the officer.

“I decided not to turn right,” she explains.

“Then why the up and down?” asks the officer.

“Officer,” she sniffs, “I was erasing!”

~~~

A word to the wise isn’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

~~~

Our 13 year old niece spent last night with us.  When we dropped her off at home, my sister-in-law asked how she behaved.  “She was an angel,” I informed her.

“Really?” she questioned.

“Yes, really.  A perfect angel.”  I assured her.

“I just don’t understand.  Whenever she is with you she is well behaved.  Whenever she is at home, she is a monster.  She misbehaves for everyone else.  In fact, the teachers at her school drew straws to see who would be stuck with her in their class.  How come she always behaves for you?” my sister in law asked.

“I don’t know.  I guess I just have a way with children.  I also try to educate them as well.  A child is never too young to learn.”  I answered.

“What do you mean.  What did you teach her?” she inquired.

“Well, for instance, children need to learn about death and dying so they better understand this process.  I explained this concept very carefully to her.”  I informed my sister-in-law.

“Really?  You explained this to her at 13?” she asked dumbfounded.

“Well, actually she was much younger when I explained this.  She now understands death perfectly.  Which is good, because it makes threatening her with it, much more effective.”

~~~

It’s the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it’s the little differences that make them interesting.

Todd Ruthman

~~~

   A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework.  A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat.

   One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit.

   “But why?” asked the disappointed wife.

   She hemmed and hawed and said she didn’t want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, “Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I’m pregnant.”

   The wife said, “Look, we don’t want to lose you.  My husband and I don’t have any children, and we’ll adopt your baby if you will stay.”

   She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay.  The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.

   After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit.  The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay.  She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.

   In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant.  They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby.  She worked for a week or two, but then said, “I am definitely leaving this time.”

   “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant again?” asked the lady of the house.

   “No,” she said, “there are just too many kids here to pick up after.”

~~~

”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”

Robert Frost

~~~

She said:

I’m not as dumb as you look.

I’m not fat just horizontally disproportionate.

I’m not loafing. I work so fast I’m always finished

I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right!

I’m not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you that?

~~~

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

Carl Sandburg

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Random Thoughts

Ray’s Daily

October 11, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The most important truths are likely to be those which society at that time least wants to hear.

W. H. Auden

Iam off for eye sugery this morning so here is another past daily.

Ray’s daily first published on October 11, 2005

 ~~~

I just have a few random thoughts today, I hope you will bear with me.

 I don’t understand why it is only objective people who agree with me and only subjective people who don’t. For those of us who find this to be our reality we might want to stop and ask ourselves the question “Might I be wrong?”

~~~

Yesterday I was in a group workshop that discussed various methods and processes that could be used to manage a people-to-people networking effort. There were some really good ideas. However I started to wonder if the result might be too much process and not enough progress. I sometimes think we hide by continually doing tasks. No matter how well we do tasks, it is all for naught if in the end we don’t accomplish something. The science may be important but please do not forget the art.

~~~

While we meet way too many people who are easy to dislike, there are many more who are easy to like, all we have to do is take time to know them. When we do stop for awhile and talk I find that there is so much pleasure in new people you like that there is little time to fret about those you don’t.

One of the secrets of building friendships is learning just how interesting other people are. When we care enough to learn about others magic things happen. Some of us collect facts, others objects, but the truly happy collect friends. But please remember that the one sure way to close down budding relationships is by behaving as if you are more important than the other person.

~~~

I mourn the loss of excitement and joy, demonstrated by so many as they age. We seem to have the ability to talk ourselves into believing that we are just too tired and too old to do the things we always dreamed about. It does not have to be that way. Everyday I meet contemporaries who have begun new adventures, started new hobbies, began another career, or just said I want to look around and enjoy all that is to be seen. Don’t feel sorry for those who have too much to do, feel sorry for those that don’t.

~~~

To be fully alive is to feel that everything is possible.

Eric Hoffer

~~~

Long, unproductive meetings are often the bane of corporate life. My very funny boss at the software company where I work has come up with what just might be the perfect way to cut business conferences short before they start rambling out of control. There comes a time when he announces, “All those opposed to my plan say, ‘I resign.'” End of meeting.  

~~~

A guy told his buddy, “I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check on who has escaped from there recently.”

His buddy asked, “Oh? Why do you wonder about that?”

“Well, somebody ran off with my wife this week!”

~~~

“Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.”

Quentin Crisp

~~~

Joe sets up his chum Michael to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend of his. But Michael is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before. “What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Mike, “I’ll be stuck with her all night.”  

“Don’t worry,” Joe says, “just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don’t just shout ‘Aaaaaauuuggghhh!’ and fake an asthma attack.”  

So that night, Mike knocks at the girl’s door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts:   “Aaaaaauuuggghhh!”  

~~~

“If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”

Bill Lyon

~~~

Rules for Driving in New York City  

* When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.  

* Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.  

* The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.  

* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.  

* Always look both ways when running a red light.  

* Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in. (Truest of All)  

* Making eye contact revokes your right of way.  

* Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.  

~~~

“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”

Doug Larson

~~~

A lady lived in a small Minnesota town had two pet monkeys that she was very fond of. One of them took sick and died. A couple of days later the other died of a broken heart. Wishing to keep them, the lady took them to the taxidermist. The man asked if she would like them mounted. “Oh, no,” she replied, “Just have them holding hands.”  

~~~

“True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.”

~~~

Scott and Glenn who worked together were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Scott said, “Panty stitcher… I sew the elastic onto women’s underwear.”

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Glenn was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied.

Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave Glenn $600 a week.

When Scott found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”

“What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic and he pulls on it and says, ‘Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.'”

~~~

A curious ad, placed in THE DAYTONA BEACH NEWS-JOURNAL:

“LOST:  Orange jacket, lavender shoes, & gray briefcase.  Please don’t ask!  Reward!”

~~~

An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest’s much-loved roses.

“Not bad,” said the priest, “but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death.”

“What on earth is that?” asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge.

“Nuns with scissors.”

~~~

The meaning of life is not to be discovered only after death in some hidden, mysterious realm; on the contrary, it can be found by eating the succulent fruit of the Tree of Life and by living in the here and now as fully and creatively as we can.

Paul Kurtz

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Ray’s Daily

October 8, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.

Dan Millman

As we go through life we sometimes are our worst enamies. I mean we often take things too seriously and get mad. Other people can upset us only if we let them. I have found over the years that some folks are quick to judge and criticize while not realizing what they are doing. I have learned not to let others upset me and how not reacting in anger results in continuing relationships.

Here are excerpts from an article written by Marc Chernoff that I thought we might offer friendly reminders on how we can keep our cool.

7 Mantras that Will Stop You from Taking Things Personally

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOF

Like you, I’m only human, and I sometimes still take things personally when I’m in the heat of the moment.  So, I’ve implemented a simple strategy to support the practice of watching my response.  In a nutshell, I proactively remind myself NOT to take things personally.  Anytime I catch myself doing so, I pause and read a few of the following mantras to myself.  Then I take some fresh deep breaths…

  1. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal.  Rarely do people do things because of you.  They do things because of them.
  2. You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
  3. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors.  The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours. 
  4. Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally.  Listen, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
  5. You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you – you’re already valuable.
  6. If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them.  Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.
  7. All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby.  And that’s the tragedy of living.  So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best.  Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.

~~~

Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.

Paramahansa Yogananda

~~~

When my cousin, Tom, was at the police academy, prior to joining Chicago’s finest, one of his instructors asked him during an oral exam,

“What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He immediately replied, with conviction,  “Call for backup.”

~~~

When you have accumulated sufficient knowledge to get by, you’re too old to remember it.

~~~

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy.  During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed. “Dad,” our teenager asked, “how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?” Without hesitation he quipped, “They’re going to give you a phone to hold.”

~~~

“Most people are other people.

Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

discussing things meant to be.

Said one to the others, now listen you two,

there’s a rumor going round that can’t be true,

that man descended from our noble race

the very idea is  a great disgrace.

No monkey has ever deserted his wife

starved her babies and ruined her life

and you’ve never known a mother monk

to leave her babies with others to bunk,

or pass from one onto another

till they scarcely  know who is their mother.

Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do

go out at night and get on a stew

or use a gun or club or knife

to take some other monkey’s life

yes, man descended, the ornery cuss

but brother, he didn’t descend from us.

~~~

I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording:  “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.  I am making some changes in my life.  Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

~~~

There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya.  On her final visit to a remote township she attended a medical clinic.  As the Maasai women there began to sing together, she found herself deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies.  She wanted to always remember this moment and try to share it with friends when she arrived home. With tears flowing down her cheeks, she turned to her friend and asked, “Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?” Her friend looked at her an solemnly replied, “If you boil the water, you won’t get dysentery.”

~~~

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

Charlie Chaplin

~~~

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.  “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said.  “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”

“Of course,” replied the patient.  “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

~~~

The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.

Carl Jung

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

You are important

Ray’s Daily

October 7, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

I think the thing I value the most, after my family, is the friends I have made over the years. I do miss the many who have gone on and those who have drifted away. They all have left fond memories. I know it would be hard to face the future alone that is why making new friends while keeping old friends can make your days rewarding.

So my friends I just want you always to know you are appreciated. Here is something to remind you just how important you are.

        A Friend…

    Author Unknown

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in “you”

(C)alls you just to say “HI”

(D)oesn’t give up on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

(F)orgives your mistakes

(G)ives unconditionally

(H)elps you

(I)nvites you over

(J)ust “be” with you

(K)eeps you close at heart

(L)oves you for who you are

(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges

(O)ffer support

(P)icks you up

(Q)uiets your fears

(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you

(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it

(U)nderstands you

(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you

(X)-plains thing you don’t understand

(Y)ells when you won’t listen and

(Z)aps you back to reality

~~~

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

More Rules For Living

1. Never give yourself a haircut.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship “I apologize” and “You are right.”

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her–believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

9. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it’s not that important.

13. And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Age sneaks up on you rather quickly! THAT IS FACT, NOT FICTION!

~~~

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

Rod Stewart

~~~

A Secretary’s Rules For Their Boss

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I am not here for the money anyway.

~~~

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Buddy Hackett

~~~

Esther wanted a divorce from Irving. The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Irving shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

The best thing about the Future is that it only comes one day at a time!

~~~

Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy.

“I certainly don’t want to frighten you into a decision,” he announced, standing up to leave.

“Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.”

~~~

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.

Virginia Woolf

~~~

As a kid I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, “All you can drink for a dime.” So some kid would come up, plunk down his dime, drink a glass, and say, “Refill it.”

I’d say, “That’ll be another dime.”

“How come? Your sign says — All you can drink for a dime!”

“Well, you had a glass didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s all you can drink for a dime.”

~~~

“To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway.”

~~~

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

~~~

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

Seneca the Younger

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Caring

Ray’s Daily

October 6, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

Dr. Seuss

Things are better. My family is doing well and autumn has begun to paint its colorful landscape. What is also great uis how my fellow senior living residents care for each other. I think the following story explains how caring for others can do so much for our own well being,

I know you by heart

I recently heard someone say, ‘What you do for others you do also for yourself.’

I was confused at first, because it almost made me feel selfish. I mean, I love doing things for other people, but my wife told my recently that I always put others first. She was saying that was one of my faults. I needed a little more ‘me’ in my efforts to change the world.

I visit people in nursing homes, retirement and senior centres. I love to spend time with older folks. It’s like mining for gold. They have been down the road ahead of me and I want to know what they have learned so that I make the right choices.

A speaker at a conference I attended many years ago asked, ‘Where do you think the most valued real estate is in the world.’ Hands went up and offered big city names, resorts in development and exotic locations around the world.

‘Nice try,’ he said. ‘The most valuable real estate are the cemeteries. Buried there are dreams that might have changed the world, perhaps cures for major diseases that were never developed and people who could have made a difference in your life but never took the chance. What happened? No one listened.’ I listen, I encourage, but I don’t realize the value of what I do or understand the impact.

It was during a recent visit to a new facility that I realized that my efforts made a difference in the lives of those I met. ‘How are you today?’ I heard someone ask.

I turned around and scanned the room to see who was speaking. ‘I heard the voice of an angel!’ I said smiling. ‘Where are you?’

Then I heard a faint laugh in the corner. ‘Oh, there you are. I am so lucky to find you today,’ I said.

She was seated on an old Victorian looking couch. It reminded me of the furniture in my mother’s living room. We could only sit on it when company came. So, I jumped at the opportunity to sit next to this wonderful woman. Her hair was white and neatly brushed with an occasional wave gently reflecting the light from the nearby window. Her hands crossed on her lap resting on top of a knitted pink blanket that covered her legs. Two practical looking walking shoes peeked out at the bottom and a wooden cane was placed within her reach nearby.

‘It’s good to see you,’ she said. ‘I love when you come to visit.’ I was a bit surprised to hear her say that. I had never been here before. Maybe she was transferred her from another place and she remembered me.

‘It’s good to see you, too,’ I said.

‘You always brighten my day,’ she added. I sat quietly for a moment trying desperately to remember if we had met before. I really love to remember names. It makes people feel good when you remember.Then I asked, ‘When was the last time I saw you?’

She turned her head away for a moment and then looking back at me, she said, ‘Oh, we’ve never met, you and I. But I know you by heart.’

How curious. We never met, but she knows me by heart.It must have been the look on my face that caused her to explain further. ‘There is something about people like you. You are the ones who carry the world on your back. When you walk in a room you make us smile. When you touch my hand I can feel the warmth in your heart. People like you bring flowers, music and sunshine. Even when you bring nothing at all, you leave so much behind’ I was humbled and at a loss for words.

‘My, I thank you for saying that,’ I said. ‘When you said, I know you by heart, I naturally felt like I must have met you before.’

‘I know you by heart, because I always did the same thing. I always put others first,’ she said. There it was again. ‘Putting others first.’

Then I shared, ‘I heard someone say – what you do for others you do also for yourself.’ ‘I am living proof of that,’ she said. ‘You see, after all that time, after all that caring it all came back to me. People like you now visit me and I know you by heart.’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

Always have a willing hand to help someone, you might be the only one that does.

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

He says this is what we really mean:

“I can’t find it.” MEANS: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

“That’s women’s work.” MEANS: It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.

“Will you marry me?” MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer, and there’s no milk left.

“It’s a guy thing.” MEANS: There’s no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

“Can I help with dinner?” MEANS: Why isn’t it already on the table?

“It would take too long to explain.” MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

“I’m getting more exercise lately.” MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.

“We’re going to be late.” MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” MEANS: I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

“That’s interesting dear.” MEANS: Are you still talking?

“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.” MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

“You expect too much from me.” MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?

“It’s really a good movie.” MEANS: It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and half clothed women.

“You know how bad my memory is.” MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of F-Troop, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

~~~

A Doctor’s secretary called an old farmer out my way and said: “Your check came back.”

The old man replied, “So did my arthritis.”

~~~

Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Rail Road.  He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider.  One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched.

“Where are you going today?” Bob asked, smiling.

“Well, what does the ticket say?” replied the traveler sarcastically.   “Um, it says you’re on the wrong train,” Bob informed him.

“What am I supposed to do now?” asked the flustered passenger.

Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, “Ask the ticket.”

~~~

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.”

Maurice Chevalier

In the same vain, an executive of a company I once worked for told me that he “would rather have an imperfect Christmas Tree in mid-December than a perfect tree in mid-January.” His words have stuck with me ever since. How often do we withhold something of value because it is not yet perfect? In my experience we often find that others can fine tune our work and perfection soon comes after we have made a timely release of something of value.

Ray

~~~

“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”

Steven Wright

~~~

In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising lingo:

Old world charm ~ No bath

Tropical ~ Rainy

Majestic setting ~ A long way from town

Options galore ~ Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ~ Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms ~ Already occupied

Explore on your own ~ Pay for it yourself

No extra fees ~ No extras

Nominal fee ~ Outrageous charge

Standard ~ Sub-standard

Deluxe ~ Standard

Superior ~ One free shower cap

All the amenities ~ Two free shower caps

Plush ~ Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes ~ Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ~ No air conditioning

Picturesque ~ Theme park nearby

Open bar ~ Free ice cubes

~~~

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

Winston Churchill

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Truths

Ray’s Daily

October 5, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.”

Joel Osteen

These have been difficult days for me as I have been concerned about my oldest daughters health. She has suffered with a kidney stone that has resulted in complications that had put her into the hospital. They have fought to ease her pain and cure an infection, while it is not over she is doing better.

The following helps me to keep things in perspective.

20 Tough Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit Right Now

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

See life as it is, without all the ideals and fantasies you’ve been preoccupied with.  Let go of all of those stressful distractions, and just experience this moment.

  1. There’s a lot about our lives we absolutely can’t control. – You cannot control everything that happens in life, but you can control how you respond.  In your response is your greatest power.
  2. Our expectations often make us utterly unhappy. – Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is.
  3. We will always be incredibly imperfect. – If you wait until you’re “perfect” before you share your stories, ideas, talents, and gifts with the world, no one will ever hear from you.
  4. A moment spent worrying is a moment wasted. – Worrying will never change the outcome.  Do more, worry less.  Train your mind to see the lesson in every situation, and then make the best of it.
  5. The best lessons often come from the hardest days. – Stand strong.  Sometimes you have to experience a low point in life to learn a good lesson you couldn’t have learned any other way.  (Read On Fire.)
  6. Success easily gets to our heads, and failure easily gets to our hearts. – Our character is often revealed at our highs and lows.  Be humble at the mountaintops.  Be steadfast in the valleys.  Be faithful in between.
  7. We confuse being busy with being productive. – What you pay attention to grows.  So focus on what truly matters and let go of what does not.
  8. More money left unmanaged just creates more problems. – Yes, we need money to live.  Earn it.  Save it.  Invest it.  But avoid spending money you haven’t earned, to buy things you don’t need, to impress folks you don’t even know.  Manage your money so it doesn’t end up managing you.
  9. Most of us don’t need more to be happy – we need less. – When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting.  Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter (mental and physical) that makes it complicated.  (Angel and I discuss this further in the “Simplicity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  10. Our fancy gadgets often get in our way and dehumanize us. – We all need to learn to be more human again.  Don’t avoid eye contact.  Don’t hide behind gadgets.  Smile often.  Ask about people’s stories.  Listen.
  11. As a society, we are utterly infatuated with outer beauty. – If the whole world suddenly went blind, how many folks would still be able to see your beauty?  Focus within.  Be beautiful on the inside too.  And always do your best to see beauty in others.
  12. Most of the arguments we have with one another are pointless. – Be selective in your battles.  Oftentimes peace is better than being right.  You simply don’t need to attend every argument you’re invited to.
  13. We default to judging others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals. – Be the type of person you want to meet and be around.  Be the type of person whose actions, words, and values always agree with one another.
  14. We don’t always get what we give. – You will end up sadly disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them.  Not everyone has the same heart as you.
  15. None of us know anyone worth continually blaming. – Steal your power back.  Free yourself to step forward on your own two legs.  The best part of your life will start on the day you decide your life is your own, with no one to endlessly lean on, rely on, or blame.
  16. It’s easier to hold on to the way things are than it is to let go and grow. – Letting go and moving forward means coming to the realization that some things are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.
  17. If we want the benefits of something in life, we have to also want the costs. – Most people dream of the rewards without the risks.  The triumph without the trials.  Don’t be one of them.  Life doesn’t work that way.  When you find something you want, start by asking yourself:  What am I willing to give up to get it?
  18. Even with all our advancements, progress still requires old-fashioned work. – In a culture that seeks quick and easy results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience, and perseverance.  Be strong, be present, and build positive daily rituals that get you there.  (Angel and I build positive, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy Course.)
  19. We never feel 100% ready when good opportunities arise. – Most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually.  They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.  And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.
  20. Many of us will have our lives cut short. – One way or another, none of us live forever.  And it’s much harder to change the length of your life than it is to change the depth of it.  So, how deep will you go today?  That’s something you should reflect on.  Because how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

~~~

“I have very strong feelings about how you lead your life. You always look ahead, you never look back.”

Ann Richards

~~~

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds.

He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl: “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

~~~

If the computer is so smart, how come it gets blamed for our mistakes?

~~~

Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was. Some even went so far as to insinuate that he was overshadowed by her and henpecked. Doug had a sense of humor and always laughed it off. One day, one of his fiends asked the tiresome question AGAIN, “Who wears the pants in your family?”

“I do,” replied Doug.  Then, after a pause, he added, “I also wash and iron them.”

~~~

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.”

Nathaniel Borenstein

~~~

What Exactly Is Marriage?

  • “Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents” -Eric, six years old
  • “When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.” -Anita, nine years old
  • How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry? “You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.” -Kelly, nine years old
  • “My mother says to look for a man who is kind….That’s what I’ll do….I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.” -Carolyn, eight years old

~~~

Action is the antidote for despair.

Joan Baez

~~~

She said: As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast-feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.”

~~~

For fast acting relief; try slowing down.

Lily Tomlin

~~~

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’ The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history….”

~~~

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

~~~

Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills.

They were sitting on the verandah one summer evening, watching the sun set.

The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”

To which the professor of psychology replied, “Yes and I think it’s these pesky wicker chairs.”

~~~

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

William Faulkner

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Listen

Ray’s Daily

October 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.”

Jewish Proverb

Ray’s Daily first published on October 4, 2006

This morning I attended a lecture on speech. The presenter was an expert on the subject and went to some length educating us on the physiology of speech. We learned about all the body functions that go into mouthing words. That was all well and good, but I learned more than I needed to know.

To me speech is like the proverbial tree in the forest where we are asked if a tree fell and no one was listening would it make a sound. Using the physiology of speech, you know modulating air so vibrations are sent out, then the tree makes a sound. But if you use my definition that speech is a communication link that only is closed when it is heard, then the tree does not.

As I thought about it I began to realize how much speech has changed over the centuries, and to a large extent I think it has changed as much by the medium that transmits it as by the words themselves. As an example you write a book and it is edited, in effect your words are modified in the final product. Today there are thousands of different mediums many capable of modifying our thoughts. The internet, electronic media in all its forms, newspapers, and word of mouth are all medium in which our ideas in the form of speech can be transmitted. The big difference is that the listener now controls the medium in which thoughts are transmitted and too often their choices filter out speech that might have been of value to them.

I think it behooves us to listen intently to the speech around us and to work to make sure that we have the opportunity to balance ideas through the diversity of what we hear. Like the tree in the forest, an important idea that is not heard will just wither and die. It might not always be easy since there is so much speech going on at once, but if we listen hard enough in as many places as possible there is a good chance that we will learn something that will help us make a difference.

~~~

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”

Kenneth A. Wells

~~~

Murphy’s Technology Law #1:

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Murphy’s Technology Law #2:

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Murphy’s Technology Law #3:

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

Murphy’s Technology Law #4:

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Technology Law #5:

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Murphy’s Technology Law #6:

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

Murphy’s Technology Law #7:

All great discoveries are made by mistake.

Murphy’s Technology Law #8:

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Murphy’s Technology Law #9:

All’s well that ends . . . period.

Murphy’s Technology Law #10:

A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Murphy’s Technology Law #11:

The first myth of management is that it exists.

Murphy’s Technology Law #12:

A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

Murphy’s Technology Law #13:

New systems generate new problems.

Murphy’s Technology Law #14:

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Murphy’s Technology Law #15:

We don’t know one-millionth of one percent about anything.

Murphy’s Technology Law #16:

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Murphy’s Technology Law #17:

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

~~~

Sign in appliance store: 6-month supply of socks with each washer-drier.

~~~

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.

The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no “I” in the word ‘marriage.'”‘

The wife said, “For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling.”

~~~

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.

~~~

My boss’ wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” she asked.

“My brakes went out,” her sister said.

“Can you come to get me?”

“Where are you?” Sherry asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” her sister responded. “And where’s the car?”

“It’s in here with me.”

~~~

Always listen to the experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done and why. Then do it.

Robert Heinlein

~~~

She said: Everybody’s a comedian. I called my local home improvement store for a simple piece of advice. “I know the Sheetrock is nailed to the studs,” I said to the guy who answered the phone, “but how do I find the studs?”  

“Put an ad in the personals column.” he suggested. 

~~~

The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person?

Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

Eugene Kennedy

~~~

A primer for any couple should be the book MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. It explains that men and women are from different planets. For example: women like to verbalize their feelings on relationships. It’s difficult for a man to even admit he’s in a relationship.

~~~

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.”

Sue Patton Thoele

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Stay Calm

Ray’s Daily

October 1. 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”

Chinese Proverb

Here we go, another new month. I plan on making it a good one. I love autumn and all it brings. Warm weather, warm clothes and hopefully good feelings. I think there is too much anger these days. We have become so polarized that some of us have lost the ability to deal with our diversity.

I do know folks I don’t agree with but we overcome our differences and remain friends. I plan on doing what I can to avoid angry behavior and enjoying my days.

Here is a piece I got off the internet. I don’t know who wrote it but think it is worth sharing.

How to Stop Being Angry?

Realizing that no-one is perfect is a good start to avoiding getting angry.  Also, you need to accept that not everyone has the same standards as you, nor will they behave in the same way that you would in a given situation.  This applies to work, day-to-day life, and relationships.

Many people try to live by high standards, and as a result, are often disappointed and become angry.  The answer is to be a bit more flexible and loosen your hold on life.  High standards are praiseworthy, but so is pragmatism.

Secondly, don’t dismiss anger as a bad emotion.  There are occasions when anger can be directed in such a way as to achieve great things.  Martin Luther King was angry about the lack of civil rights in the USA.  Gandhi was angry about British domination in India.  They both used that anger to motivate themselves to fight against what they saw as injustice.

Anger of this type can be used to fuel action.  Taking action can help to reduce the feelings of anger as you see progress towards your ultimate goal.  Use anger to help you not hinder you.

Thirdly, it is beneficial to stop trying to manage your anger.  Anger management used to be promoted as a way of dealing with anger, but all that happens is that the anger is suppressed.  A much better way of facing up to anger is to identify the root cause.  A flash of anger is not what we are discussing here.  It is the long-term underlying anger that comes to the fore many times a day that is the problem.

When trying to get to the root cause of this type of anger, be prepared to be honest with yourself.  Is it worry or stress making you angry?  Are you fearful of failure?  Are you unhappy?  Once you know why you get mad, then it is possible to deal with the cause.  Taking positive steps towards solving the underlying problem will help you overcome feelings of anger.

Fourthly, reacting angrily is a hard habit to break.  But it is a habit, and habits can be broken.  The trick is to avoid reacting when faced with a situation that usually angers.  Anger is a negative reaction, but in this type of situation, there is no merit in reacting by forming positive thoughts.  You need to learn not to respond at all.  This way, your anger will not get the emotional food it needs to survive.

Fifthly, don’t take the easy way when you get angry.  We all get tempted to throw something, hit something (or even someone), or scream when we are angry.  You might say you feel better after an angry outburst, but that is just the after-effect of the adrenalin your body released while you were angry.

A reaction like that is the easy way.  It is much harder to stay calm, to walk away from conflict, or to take a deep breath and act normally.  That, however, is what you must do if you are to stop anger from becoming your master. By learning control, you can become a much calmer, less volatile person.  You will be better liked and better placed to influence others.  Anger will no longer side-track you and prevent you from achieving a prosperous, fulfilled life.

In conclusion, you must recognize that anger is something you can control.  That control will come once you identify what is at the root of your anger.  Make changes to your lifestyle and attitudes, and you will find that you will turn angry much less often, if at all.  Angry people are not nice people.  Angry people will fail to achieve more often than those people who are pleasant, calm, relaxed, and considerate.

~~~

Speak the truth, do not become angered, and give when asked, even be it a little.

Buddha

~~~

A very proper lady began planning a week’s camping vacation for her church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term “Bathroom Commode.” Once written down she still wasn’t comfortable. Finally, she decided on the abbreviation “B.C.” and wrote, “Does your campground have its own “B.C.?”

When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn’t figure out what she meant by “B.C.” He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply:

 Dear Madam:

The B.C. is located nine miles from the campground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it, especially on Thursday when there is organ accompaniment. The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately, my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It’s been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather. Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit. We offer a very friendly campground.

~~~

The meek shall inherit the earth — they are too weak to refuse.

~~~

Sue loved the golf game but was not very good at it. She was out on the links one day, playing with her husband Tim.  As usual, every time she swung at the ball, she made the earth beneath it fly every which way!  “My goodness, Tim,” she said, blushing at her ineptitude, “I bet the worms think there’s an earthquake going on.”

“Don’t be so sure, Sue.  The worms on this course are mighty smart.  My guess is that most of them are hiding beneath your golf ball for safety.”

~~~

“After Mama gave birth to 12 of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal.  It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her.”

Dolly Parton

~~~

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” he announced.

He stopped, tossed the ball into the air, swung at it and missed.

“Strike one!” he yelled.

Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down, he swung again and missed. “Strike two!” he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!”

Again, he tossed the ball up in the air, swung at it and missed.

“Strike three. Wow, I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”

~~~

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.”

~~~

A guest at dinner noticed the small family dog looking hungrily at every bite she took. Finally, she took a small piece of meat from her plate and held it up for him.

“Speak!” she said to the dog.

The dog answered, “Under the circumstances, I hardly know what to say!”

~~~

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”

Jack Layton,

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Achieve Serenity

Ray’s Daily

September 30, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

From serenity comes gentleness, comes lasting strength.

Pam Brown

I have met hundreds of folks over the years and liked those who rolled with the punches while staying calm. These were the people who are so in control of their lives that they handle pitfalls with grace. Too many of us let too many things bother us excessively.

Things are so much easier to handle if we have learned how to achieve serenity. Here is an article on the value of staying calm.

Serenity

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A person becomes calm in the measure that one understands themselves as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as one develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, one ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm person, having learned how to govern themselves, knows how to adapt themselves to others; and they, in turn, reverence their spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of them and rely upon them. The more tranquil a person becomes, the greater is their success, their influence, their power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find their business prosperity increase as one develops a greater self control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a person whose demeanor is strongly equable.

The strong, calm person is always loved and revered. They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life – a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control flow few people we meet in life who are well-balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

Written by James Allen

~~~

When completely relaxed, we experience the essence of our being, the deep silence that knows everything as it is.

Haemin Sunim

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Seen on a headstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

SUCCESS

    At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.

    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

    At age 35 success is . . . having money.

    At age 50 success is . . . having money.

    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.

    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

~~~

She said, my mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was onJury duty…

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

What the Store-employees really mean…

1. “Can I help you get a size?”

Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.

2. “Do you need help with anything?”

Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

3. “Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>”

Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.

4. “Have a nice day!”

Now that you ruined mine

5. “Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>>”

Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

6. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?”

The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

7. “I love your shirt!  Where did you get it?”

Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you even shopping here?

8. “Can I help you get something down?”

I’ll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.

9. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it”

You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

10. “No, we don’t have any more in the back”

I just don’t want to check

~~~

When you do the right thing, you get the feeling of peace and serenity associated with it. Do it again and again.

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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