Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

November 17, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen.”

Winnie The Pooh

Want to know how to grow old gracefully? Make as many friends as you can. They will help when you need it. They will see things you might otherwise miss. In truth they are like family and I know I really appreciate those I have, especially so many of you.

          A Friend…

  by: Author Unknown

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in “you”

(C)alls you just to say “HI”

(D)oesn’t give up on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

(F)orgives your mistakes

(G)ives unconditionally

(H)elps you

(I)nvites you over

(J)ust “be” with you

(K)eeps you close at heart

(L)oves you for who you are

(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges

(O)ffer support

(P)icks you up

(Q)uiets your fears

(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you

(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it

(U)nderstands you

(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you

(X)-plains thing you don’t understand

(Y)ells when you won’t listen and

(Z)aps you back to reality

~~~

“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”

Donna Roberts

~~~

A lady lost her purse in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

~~~

Remember, once you get over the hill, you’ll begin to pick up speed.

~~~

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

“Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?”

“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Al said, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”

“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.

He quickly returned and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Al asked.

“I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”

“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!”

~~~

To err is human—to blame it on a computer is even more so.

~~~

She says that:

“Hey Marco! Is it true you have a new girlfriend?” I quizzed.

“Yeah, it’s true” he mumbled.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”  I asked.

“Well, it’s my new girlfriend,” he said.

“Oh yeah?  What’s the problem?”

“Well I asked her if she could learn to love me,” he replied.

“Yeah…and?” I pried further. “and she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

~~~

Find out what you don’t do well and don’t do it.

~~~

The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail.

“What’s the charge?  Mr. Schwarz demanded.

“None,” replied the officer.  “It’s all part of the service.”

~~~

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”

Octavia Butler

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Advertisement

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: