Ray's musings and humor

Get Ready

Ray’s Daily

November 2, 2022


Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Helen Keller

As we approach the holiday season it is important that we get ready for the festivities. I guess that means I should get ready to miss a nap or two, but that is OK since my senior community has a load of activities scheduled for the weeks ahead. I just have to participate and enjoy all that is being offered.

The Art of Achievement

You hold in your hand the camel’s-hair brush of a painter of Life. You stand before the vast white canvas of Time.

The paints are your thoughts, emotions and acts.

You select the colours of your thoughts; drab or bright, weak or strong, good or bad.

You select the colours of your emotions; discordant or harmonious, harsh or quiet, weak or strong.

You select the colours of your acts; cold or warm, fearful or daring, small or big.

You visualize yourself as the person you want to be.

You strive to make the ideal in your mind become a reality on the canvas of Time.

Each moment of your life is a brush stroke in the painting of your growing career.

There are the bold, sweeping strokes of one increasing, dynamic purpose.

There are the lights and shadows that make your life deep and strong.

 There are the little touches that add the stamp of character and worth.

The art of achievement is the art of making life – your life – a masterpiece.

Wilferd A. Peterson


But with sound self-confidence you can succeed. A sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of your hopes, but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement.

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale,


Waiting for an elevator at our hospital, I stood next to a maintenance man holding a bicycle pump.  Noticing my curious stares, he looked at me and remarked with a grin, “It’s the new HMO oxygen program.”


The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when my husband’s co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.

“I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” he said.

“Which one?” she asked.

He scanned the shelves and answered, “William.”


Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.


An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?”

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question?”

The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.



Out-Of-The-Office eMail

I don’t know about you, but I find those Out-Of-The-Office eMail Auto-Replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some alternatives.

…. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

… Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. Your message is valuable to me.

… In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss’s home phone number here).

…. The email server is unable to deliver your message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

… Please reply to this email so I will know that you got this message saying I am not here.


The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.


My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. “I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?”  

Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: “For Sale.”  


When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

Edward Abbey


Concluding his exam, the doctor said to his patient,

“Mr. Franklin, I find very little wrong with you. You are in surprisingly good health despite being quite overweight? My advice to you is this: If you want to stay healthy, give up those intimate little dinners for two unless you have someone to share them with.”


There are two secrets for success:

1. Don’t reveal all your secrets


One morning the door-bell rang. The weather was very bad.  It was raining cats and dogs. I opened the door and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah’s Witness, soaking wet.

I felt sorry for her and asked her in the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off a little.

As we were drinking our coffee, I asked what her “happy message” was.

I thought we might discuss some difference of belief but, she stuttered and said…. “I’m not sure….I never got this far before…!”


“If you believe that achievement ends with retirement, you will slowly fade away. First of all, keeping the mind active is one way to prolong your life and to enjoy life to its fullest for as long as possible.”

Byron Pulsifer


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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