November 1, 2022
“Welcome sweet November, the season of senses and my favorite month of all.”
Gregory F. Lenz
Here we go, a new month and a good time to focus on ourselves. Here is a piece from Angel Chernoff to help us do it.
7 Simple Rules for Being YOU
1. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride, it’s self-respect. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you constantly surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer.
2. Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.
3. When you discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy — something that truly matters to you — care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life. And if you find that you don’t have enough time for what matters, stop doing things that don’t.
4. Do not waste your time and energy today fighting against where you are. Invest your time and energy into getting to where you want to go. Try your best to let go of everything that does not serve you, and just be grateful it brought you to where you are now — to this new beginning.
5. Perspective is everything. When faced with long check-out lines, traffic jams, or waiting an hour past your appointment time, you have two choices: You can get frustrated and enraged, or you can view it as life’s way of giving you a guilt-free breather from rushing, and spend that time daydreaming, conversing, or watching the clouds. The first choice will raise your blood pressure. The second choice will raise your consciousness.
6. The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind. In other words, you aren’t responsible for everything that happens to you in life, but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking patterns that these undesirable experiences create.
7. Remember, ten years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought. What will matter is how you thought about yourself, how you lived, what you learned, and where you applied this knowledge.
“There is music in the meadows, in the air —
Autumn is here;
Skies are gray, but hearts are mellow…”
William Stanley Braithwaite
What she really means
The wife says: No
The wife means: No
The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No
The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry
“When I finished school, I took one of those career aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime.”
While golfing his ball landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn’t even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, “Whoa! What are we going to do?”
Said the other ant: “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get on that ball!”
“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Little Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”
“I wanna play ‘Mommy and Daddy,'” Little Johnny whines in reply.
Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?”
Little Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down like you’re taking a nap.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs.
Little Johnny, acting a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He puts on his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs, he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother raises her head and asks, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, Little Johnny says, “Get yourself downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”
My mother was against me being an actress — until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
David bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Bill asked how she was doing with it. “Oh,” said David, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”
“How come?” Bill asked.
“Because,” he answered, “with a clarinet, she can’t sing…”
The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.
A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.
Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didn’t have a bucket or can.
One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the pan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and left. The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by.
The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said: “Sisters, I don’t think it will work, but I sure do admire your faith!”
“To keep a marriage briming, with love in your loving cup. Whenever your wrong, admit it; Whenever your right, shut up.”
An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.
Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct flight to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country he was told to turn due South. Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule he inquired, quite agitated, to the controller for the reason of the turn off coarse. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.
The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, “Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don’t see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over 6 miles above the earth!”
The controller answered in a calm voice, “Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!”
The general issued a rousing cry: “Onward to victory!” Half an hour later, an urgent message reached him: “Need further instructions.
Victory not on our maps.”
“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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