October 13, 2022
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
I hope you have as good a day as mine will be. The highlight will be lunch at a local steakhouse with a number of my fellow neighbors. As usual the day will include a nap or two, my favorite pastime. Anyway it is up to us to make today a good one.
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
by: Author Unknown
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.
Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday
So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.
Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
And I reached some of those goals today
So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow
And if tomorrow turns out to be like today
I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
“The moment is everything. Don’t think about tomorrow; don’t think about yesterday: think about exactly what you’re doing right now and live it and dance it and breath it and be it.”
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston
One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California; with gun in lap: L.A.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male
One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male
Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another’s car: Colorado
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.
If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.
A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her well enough.”
Sign at a railroad station: “Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.”
HONOR SYSTEM VIRUS
This virus works on the honor system:
Please forward this message to everyone in your address book.
Now delete all the files from your hard disk.
Thank you for your cooperation.
If you have nothing to do, don’t do it here.
Did you know that:
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
I know, who cares?
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
HER LANGUAGE TRANSLATED
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”
H Jackson Brown, Jr.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at email@example.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of readers from around the world.