Ray's musings and humor

Life Goes On

Ray’s Daily

October 6, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.

Theodore Roosevelt

I got the results from my marathon Cardiac Echo test earlier this week. The good news is if I keep breathing I will be OK. Next I will start a regimen of inoculations to stimulate my Bone Marrow to generate more red blood cells and hopefully restore some of my stamina.

Like they say life goes on I just wish sometimes it was a little easier.

Some thoughts on Living

  • The best way to get even is to forget.
  • Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
  • Some people wear their halos much too tight.
  • Sorrow looks back, worry looks around and faith looks up.
  • Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous, as you may well get knocked down by the traffic going either way.
  • Words are windows to the heart.
  • A skeptic is a person who when seeing the handwriting on the wall claims it’s a forgery.
  • It isn’t difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill; just add a little dirt.
  • The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.
  • The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.
  • To forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover the prisoner was you.
  • You’ll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out it’s neck.
  • If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence you can bet the water bill is higher.

Author Unknown

~~~

Difficult and meaningful will always bring more satisfaction than easy and meaningless.

Maxime Lagacé

~~~

She says this is what we really mean:

“I can’t find it.” MEANS: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

“That’s women’s work.” MEANS: It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.

“Will you marry me?” MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer, and there’s no milk left.

“It’s a guy thing.” MEANS: There’s no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

“Can I help with dinner?” MEANS: Why isn’t it already on the table?

“It would take too long to explain.” MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

“I’m getting more exercise lately.” MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.

“We’re going to be late.” MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” MEANS: I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

“That’s interesting dear.” MEANS: Are you still talking?

“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.” MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

“You expect too much from me.” MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?

“It’s really a good movie.” MEANS: It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and half clothed women.

“You know how bad my memory is.” MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of F-Troop, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

~~~

A Doctor’s secretary called an old farmer out my way and said: “Your check came back.”

The old man replied, “So did my arthritis.”

~~~

Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Rail Road.  He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider.  One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched.

“Where are you going today?” Bob asked, smiling.

“Well, what does the ticket say?” replied the traveler sarcastically.   “Um, it says you’re on the wrong train,” Bob informed him.

“What am I supposed to do now?” asked the flustered passenger.

Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, “Ask the ticket.”

~~~

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.”

Maurice Chevalier

In the same vain, an executive of a company I once worked for told me that he “would rather have an imperfect Christmas Tree in mid-December than a perfect tree in mid-January.” His words have stuck with me ever since. How often do we withhold something of value because it is not yet perfect? In my experience we often find that others can fine tune our work and perfection soon comes after we have made a timely release of something of value.

Ray

~~~

“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”

Steven Wright

~~~

In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising lingo:

Old world charm ~ No bath

Tropical ~ Rainy

Majestic setting ~ A long way from town

Options galore ~ Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ~ Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms ~ Already occupied

Explore on your own ~ Pay for it yourself

No extra fees ~ No extras

Nominal fee ~ Outrageous charge

Standard ~ Sub-standard

Deluxe ~ Standard

Superior ~ One free shower cap

All the amenities ~ Two free shower caps

Plush ~ Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes ~ Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ~ No air conditioning

Picturesque ~ Theme park nearby

Open bar ~ Free ice cubes

~~~

The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

~~~

A man walks into a dentist’s office and says, “Excuse me, can you help me. I think I’m a moth.”

Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.”

Man: “Yes, I know.”

Dentist: “So why did you come in here?”

Man: “The light was on…”

~~~

He who is contented is rich.

Lao Tzu

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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