October 5, 2022
“Life is about making an impact, not making an income.”
There is not much on my agenda today. So I am going to do something I like best, relax and stay happy. I think whoever wrote the following had the right idea.
Just for Today
by: Author Unknown
Decide to be happy today, to live with what is yours – your family, your business, your job, your luck. If you can’t have what you like, maybe you can like what you have.
Just for today, be kind, cheerful, agreeable, responsive, caring, and understanding. Be your best, dress your best, talk softly, and look for the bright side of things. Praise people for what they do and do not criticize them for what they cannot do. If someone does something stupid, forgive and forget. After all, it’s just for one day.
Who knows, it might turn out to be a nice day.
“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.”
Things I learned at the hospital:
•Little is a medical term that is not defined the same as in Webster’s dictionary, for example “this may be a little uncomfortable,” “this may sting a little,” “you may feel a little burning sensation,” and “there may be a little post-op pain.”
•All staff meetings are held outside of open hospital room doors between the hours of 1 AM and 4 AM.
•A requirement not to leave the hospital bed for eight hours is a highly effective Diuretic but having to pee in a little plastic bottle while lying in bed is an art and not a science.
•Hospital food has one great attribute; it makes everything you eat after having one seem so much better.
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!”
When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!”
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS…AMEN!”
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet, and one turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”
“I tell ya, a lot of people are in bad shape. A guy stopped me in the street the other day. He told me he hasn’t eaten in five days. I told him, I said, ‘I wish I had your will power.'”
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys kneeled down beside their beds to say their prayers. Suddenly, the youngest boy began praying at the top of his lungs, “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”
His older brother leaned over, nudged his younger brother, and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”
The little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
On the first day of college, the Dean addresses the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180.
“Are there any questions?” At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er… How much for a season pass?”
“When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or the life of another.”
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