Ray's musings and humor

22 Years Ago

Ray’s Daily

October 4, 2022


“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

Earl Nightingale

Ray’s Daily first published on October 4, 2000

More life tips:

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
Spend some time alone.
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Newspapers & Readers

 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

 2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

 3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t understand the Washington Post.

 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time.

 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country.

 8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.

 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it.

 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.


Ignorance is Bliss!! Why aren’t you happy?

He said:

Most accidents happen at home! And the men have to eat them.

Adam was created first to give him a chance to say something.

Before money was invented, what did women find attractive about men?


When there’s a will, I want to be in it!


1) If it rings, put it on hold.
2) If it clunks, call the repairman.
3) If it whistles, ignore it.
4) If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.
5) If it’s the Boss, look busy.
6) If it talks, take notes.
7) If it’s handwritten, type it.
8) If it’s typed, copy it.
9) If it’s copied, file it.
10) If it’s Friday, FORGET IT!!!


“I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 ‘matches’ to my key word. That’s like saying, “Good news, we’ve located the product you’re looking for. It’s on Earth.”

Bruce Cameron


The doctor finished his examination and asked the patient to step into his office.

“Sit down, Mr. Kaysen. After looking at these test results, I recommend that you have an operation immediately.” The man thought for a moment, “How will this affect my hobby, Doctor?”

“What’s your hobby?”

“Saving money!”


“Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.”
Scott Adams


She said:

I was at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the I explained. “He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.

He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.”


“Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.”
Rodney Dangerfield


Real Signs On Church Property

It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.

Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.

If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.

Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.

This is a CH_ _ CH. What is missing?” ———> (U R)

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

In the dark? Follow the Son.

Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.

If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.


Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?

Jerry Seinfeld


Kids instructions for life:

* “Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.” – Rocky, age 9

* “Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.” – Stephanie, age 8

* “Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower.” – Lamar, age 10

* “Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes.” – Carrol, age 9

* “Never bug a pregnant mom.” – Nicholas, age 11

* “Don’t ever be too full for dessert.” – Kelly, age 10

* “When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him.” – Heather, age 16


“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”
Alison Boulter


“The things we love tell us what we are.”

St. Thomas Aquinas

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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