Ray’s Daily
September 30, 2022
You better live your best and act your best and think your best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows that follow.
Harriet Martineau (1802 – 1876)
I have a hematologist appointment this morning so here is Ray’s Daily first published on September 30, 2003
Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.
Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others. I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.
Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.
Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.
Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.
Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.
Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . . admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . .pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.
Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.
Beginning today. And every day.
~~~
Here is another one of those “I wish I didn’t know facts” Angie Dickinson is 72 today. How can these beautiful people be getting this old when I am staying the same age? Well at least mentally, or is it in my dreams?
~~~
20 SAYINGS WE’D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings… they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos… then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity… probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagiarism saves time.
8. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.
9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
10. TEAMWORK… means never having to take all the blame yourself.
11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
13. We waste time, so you don’t have to.
14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
19. Succeed in spite of management.
20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
~~~
Never wave to your friends at an auction.
~~~
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet.
She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help.
The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.
The teacher was amazed. “I’m in awe at your faith, pastor,” she said. “It’s really nothing,” he answered. “The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling.”
~~~
The judge read the charges, then asked, “Are you the defendant in this case?”
“No sir, your honor, sir,” replied Bob, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the guy who done it.”
~~~
I have a brother who was on a plane that had taken off and was approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on the public-address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the plane’s restroom was out of order. The flight attendant went on to apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished cheerily with: “So, as compensation, free drinks will be served.”
~~~
Life is the ultimate IQ test.
~~~
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, and military jets, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.
You’re going to love this…… Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo: “Defrost the chicken.”
~~~
Help a man when he’s in trouble and he will remember you the next time he’s in trouble.
~~~
In one class, the Professor asked anyone to explain how they would measure the height of a building using an Aneroid Barometer. One student, short of knowledge but long on ingenuity replied, “I would lower the barometer on a string and measure the string.”
~~~
Q: HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.
~~~
“When the archer misses the mark, he turns and looks for the fault within himself. Failure to hit the bull’s eye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim — improve yourself.”
Gilbert Arland
~~~
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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