Ray's Daily

Ray’s Daily

September 27, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”

William Feather

Reprint- Ray’s Daily first published on September 27, 2001

Today is another milestone for me. My formal role with the Kiwanis/UNICEF IDD project will end today, after almost 10 years. I will miss seeing so many of my Kiwanis staff friends on a daily basis. They are good people and good friends to have. Don’t quit on the kids, keep up your support of the effort, I know I will.

My first official post-Kiwanis act will be to drive my wife to a reunion in Cincinnati this afternoon and I won’t return until late Friday, so no daily tomorrow.

Spend the next three days in reverent contemplation, if that does not work then just let yourself go. Keep the peace.

~~~

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

“Why the big smile?” Bill asked his buddy, Jim.

“My wife just ran off with my best friend.” Jim replied.

“Do I know him?” Bill inquired.

“No.” Jim replied. “And neither do I!”

~~~

Mark sends us this important information:

Secrets of Women’s Language……. Keywords and their meanings!

§ “Fine”: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

§ “Five minutes”: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

§ “Nothing”: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

§ “Go Ahead” (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

§ “Go Ahead” (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

§ A “Loud Sigh” This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

§ “Soft Sighs”: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that you can actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

§ “Oh”: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to so and so about what you were doing last night.” If she says “Oh” before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that we can’t bring ourselves to write about them.

§ “That’s Okay” This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

§ “Please Do”: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

§ “Thanks”: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you’re welcome.

§ “Thanks a lot”: This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks a lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

OKAY NOW…I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

~~~

Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning.

“I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog.”

~~~

On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.

H.L. Mencken

~~~

In Cork County Ireland, a bum came up to old Hogan and asked for a handout.  Hogan replied, “Ye’ll only waste the money, you will.”

“No,” replied the bum, “I need it for food.  I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I sure don’t gamble.”

“Aye,” Hogan replied, “in that case, if you’ll be comin’ back to my house, I’ll give you a whole pound.”

The bum was agreeable, and in a few minutes they were at the door of Hogan’s house.  Mrs. Hogan opened the door, took a look at the pair of them and said, “Aye!  And what would this be about then?”

Hogan said to his wife, “I just wanted to show you somebody who doesn’t smoke, drink, or gamble!  And why don’t you keep your promise and marry him, then?”

~~~

She said, every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up. You don’t know where it’s been.

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heals in love with him, even though he was a married man.

“Oh, sweetie,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”

Taking her by the shoulders, the lawyer proceeded to scold her for her lack of discretion and good judgment. “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”

“No…no…” she sobbed, heartsick.

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”

~~~

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do.

Edward Everett Hale

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.