Ray's musings and humor

Another Reprint

Ray’s Daily

September 12, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do.

Edward Everett Hale

Ray’s Daily first published on September 12, 2002

It seems to me that throughout history individuals and nations have lost sight of their basic values as they faced uncertainty and conflict. It is almost as if individuals believed that everyone must be either an enemy or a friend and must be treated accordingly. Whole nations have rationalized the erosion of their basic principles and then regretted it later. I am not saying that we are on this path. I just feel we must be vigilant to make sure that basic liberties are not lost in the shuffle.

I think it is worthwhile to revisit the words of Mother Theresa every once in awhile. As an example she taught us that:

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

~~~

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.  The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…”

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”

~~~

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

~~~

Famous last words:

** It’s fireproof.

** He’s probably just hibernating.

** What does this button do?

** It’s probably just a rash.

** Are you sure the power is off?

** The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

** Pull the pin and count to what?

** Which wire was I supposed to cut?

** I wonder where the mother bear is.

** I’ve seen this done on TV.

** These are the good kind of mushrooms.

** I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.

** Let it down slowly.

** It’s strong enough for both of us.

** This doesn’t taste right.

** I can make this light before it changes.

** Nice doggie.

** I can do that with my eyes closed.

** I’ve done this before.

** What duck?

** Well, we’ve made it this far.

** That’s odd.

** Don’t be so superstitious.

** Now watch this.

~~~

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”

David Carradine

~~~

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting.  On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.  The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.  The man turned out to be the village idiot.

“This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man.  “How in the world do you do it?”

“Nothing to it,” said the guy.  “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”

~~~

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

~~~

He said :

A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I’d disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came, I was pleased that my friend’s prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.

“You know, Dad,” she replied, “we don’t show you everybody.”

~~~

HR Manager to job candidate “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”

~~~

A minister was opening his mail one morning.  Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word:  “FOOL”.

The next Sunday he announced, “I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name.

“But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter.”

~~~

“Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.”

Michael Iapoce

~~~

A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realised his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst.

As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”

~~~

“Difficulties are challenges that can make us bitter or better….the choice is ours.”

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: