Ray's musings and humor

Do you believe?

Ray’s Daily

September 8, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

If you can believe it, the mind can achieve it.

Ronnie Lott

I have often been impressed by the accomplishments of so many folks I know. They are the ones who do not wait to do something. I think the secret of their successes is that they don’t hesitate to take action because they believe in themselves. I feel sorry for those who spend their lives standing on the sidelines while others do so much. We really can do more than we often think we can it just takes a little self confidence and courage.

Here is a poem that has a message we all can use.

Thinking

By Walter D. Wintle

If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don’t,

If you like to win, but you think you can’t

It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost

For out of the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will

It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But soon or late the man who wins

Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

~~~

“Remember the world will judge you based on how you judge yourself.”

 Vincent Mueller

~~~

DIET RULES

    1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

    2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is canceled out by the diet coke

    3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do

    4. Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

    5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner

    6. Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes: popcorn, choc tops, maltezers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

    7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage

    8. Food licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something

    9. Foods that are the same color have the same amount of fat. Examples are: spinach and mint ice-cream, apples and red jelly snakes

    10. Chocolate is like a food-color wild card and may be substituted for any other color

    11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass

    12. Food consumed from someone else’s plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate (oh, how fat likes to cling)! And remember: STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS!!!

~~~

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

~~~

Mrs. Berkowitz, shopping in the supermarket, went from counter to counter humming and singing to herself.

“You seem to be very happy,” remarked the clerk.

“I have every reason to be,” replied the woman. “I’ve got a beautiful home, two lovely children, a nice bank account, my husband’s life is insured for $1,000,000 and his health is far from robust.”

~~~

I know so little that it astonishes me how many people know even less.

~~~

The woman was always frequenting small antique shops, but regardless of what she saw there, she always complained about something.  The quality was poor, the prices too high, or the selection was limited.

The shop owners took it in stride, but one day, while ranting and raving, she yelled at the clerk, “Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”

The clerk simply smiled and replied, “Possibly, ma’am, because we’re too polite.”

~~~

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.”

Gene Hill

~~~

While teaching children about world religions, a teacher asked her students to bring a symbol of their family’s faith to class. The next day, she asked each student to come forward and share the symbol with the class.

The 1st child said, “I’m Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.”

The 2nd child said, “I’m Jewish, and this is my family’s menorah.”

The 3rd child said, “I’m Roman Catholic, and this is my Mom’s rosary.”

The 4th child said, “I’m Greek Orthodox, and this is an icon of my patron saint.”

The 5th child said, “I’m Southern Baptist, and this is my casserole dish.”

~~~

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!

~~~

My daughter-in-law, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth.  Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered. 

Her response:  “Just meet me in the parking lot!”

~~~

There has never been a time in the history of humanity when there was a greater need to understand who we are and what we are capable of experiencing.

Jim Phillips

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: