Ray's musings and humor

Here We Go

Ray’s Daily

September 1, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”

Mercedes Lackey

Here we go, the last quarter of the year. Autumn is just around the corner and our torruid temperatures will moderate. I plan on making the months ahead pleasant by my best. Join ne?

Here are some helpful thoughts from Angel Chernoff for us to consider.

3 Ways to Avoid the Regrets Too Many People Live With

1. You can’t lose what you never had, you can’t keep what’s not yours, and you can’t hold on to something that does not want to stay. But you can drive yourself mad by trying. What you need to realize is that most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right! Do not let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

2. Trust me now and thank me later, embrace uncertainty! Because some of the most incredible chapters of your life won’t have a title you feel comfortable with until much later. Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small, uncertain risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. If you don’t—if you let uncertainty win—you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this unknowing will be worse than finding out your hunch was wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life without ever looking back and wondering what might have been.

3. Ten years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of clothes you wore. What will matter is how you lived, how you loved, and what you learned along the way. So forget about impressing people for the sake of it. Be real instead! If you want to impress someone, impress yourself by making progress on something you’re sincerely proud of. Focus on what matters! It’s truly amazing what you can accomplish in a day when you aren’t incessantly worried about what everyone else in the world is thinking and doing.

Ultimately, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest and most ruthless conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you feared were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations always get the best of you. It’s where you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. And if you allow these self-defeating thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, productivity, meaning, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into endless disappointment, heartache, and even depression.

~~~

“The only things I regret, and the only things I’ll ever regret are things I didn’t do. In the end, that’s what we mourn. The paths we didn’t take. The people we didn’t touch.”

Scott Spencer

~~~

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That’s fine,” he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.” “But aren’t you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.

“You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.

~~~

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

She wrote:

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people . . .

~~~

Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.

~~~

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills!!

“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep at night!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee. “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks…And believe me…….it helps me sleep at night!!!”

~~~

We have enough people who tell it like it is; now we could use a few who can tell it like it can be.

~~~

Lil’ Johnny’s mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank.  They were in line behind a rather obese lady.  As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.”

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile.  Lil’ Johnny received a reprimand. After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, “I bet her butt is ‘that’ wide.”

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son. Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, “Look how the fat hangs over her belt.” The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady’s pager begins to go off. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “Run for your life, she’s backing up”

~~~

I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.

~~~

“We cannot always change what has happened to us, but we can change how we react and how we live in the future. Living with no regrets is living successfully.”

Dr. Ellen Taricani

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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