August 12, 2022
A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do you like what you see? So much of what we see is determined by our attitude and outlook. Today I want to share a poem that reminds us that what we see depends on our attitude
Poet: Julie Hebert
Our mind is a gateway to what’s good and bad,
It just takes us to show it, its way.
If we choose to be happy and see things not crappy,
We’re sure that our lives will obey.
If we always worry or expect the worst,
You’ll soon see that life will follow.
So in order to make sure that life will be grand,
We must make sure our attitude is easy to swallow.
Think big, not small, rise, don’t fall,
And everything will go your way.
But if you find yourself negatively thinking,
You may just need a replay.
So kick off your boots and remember your roots,
And decide how you want to be.
If you want to be happy and think positively,
then remind yourself of what you will see!
I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.
Here are some of the best Norm Peterson quotes from “Cheers”:
“What’s shaking, Norm?” “All four cheeks & a couple of chins.”
“What’s new, Normie?” “Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach & they’re demanding beer.”
“What’d you like, Normie?” “A reason to live. Give me another beer.”
“What’ll you have, Normie?” “Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap.” “Looks like beer, Norm.” “Call me Mister Lucky.”
“Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?” “Like a baby treats a diaper.”
“Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.” “I know, if she calls, I’m not here.”
“What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?” “A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.'”
“Whatcha up to, Norm?” “My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.”
“How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?” “Poor.” “I’m sorry to hear that.” “No, I mean pour.”
“What’s going down, Normie?” “My butt cheeks on that bar stool.”
“Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?” “Alright, but stop me at one….make that one-thirty.”
“How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?” “It’s a dog eat dog world, Woody & I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.”
“What’s the story, Norm?” “Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.”
“Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?” “A little early, isn’t it, Woody?” “For a beer?” “No, for stupid questions.”
“Law of Volunteer Labor” People are always available for work in the past tense.
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
“I was totally humiliated,” he moaned. “She insisted on washing the dishes.”
“What’s wrong with that?” asked his mother. “I think it’s a wonderful gesture.”
“We hadn’t started eating yet.”
“Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.”
Lil’ Johnny’s mother asked him what he would like for his birthday. “I’d like a little brother,” he replied.
“Oh my, that’s such a big wish,” said the mother. “Why do you want a little brother?”
“Well,” responded Lil’ Johnny, “there’s only so much I can blame on the dog.”
I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?” The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
If I begin to procrastinate today instead of tomorrow, would that be considered self-improvement?
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left.
Later, the wife’s roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Sue: Mary, what exactly is an “oxymoron”?
Mary: It’s a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like “deafening silence.”
Sue: Oh, I get it. Like “Mr. Perfect”!
You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
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