Ray's musings and humor

Be Yourself

Ray’s Daily

August 8, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.

Allen Ginsberg

I have decided that I will spend my time this week working on being the me I want to be. Too many times events distract us from reaping the rewards that come our efforts to do our best. I know this week will have plenty of opportunity to invest in being a better me. 

How about you? Ready for a great week. Here are some tips from Angel Chernoff on how we can make it a good one.

5 Simple Yet Powerful Affirmations to Start Your Week Right

1. If you don’t allow yourself to learn and grow from the experience — from what was said, done, and felt — you will always look at your life through the same old lens. Realize this. In many ways, what you do today matters more than what happened yesterday.

2. Calmness does not mean to be in a space where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with. Calmness means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally, emotionally and physically centered.

3. Breathe. Be where you are. You’ve been broken down dozens of times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!

4. As you journey forward, remember that the the way people see and treat you is their problem, how you respond is yours. So never regret the kindness and respect you have shown to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says more than enough about them.

5. The fundamental goal right now is to gradually change your response to what you can’t control. To grow stronger on the inside, so that almost nothing on the outside can affect your inner peace and wellness without your conscious permission.

~~~

About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.

Rita Mae Brown

~~~

We miss Bob Hope, but at least he left us his humor, here are a few of his one liners.

ON TURNING 70 “You still chase women, but only downhill”.

ON TURNING 80 “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”

ON TURNING 90 “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

ON TURNING 100 ” I don’t feel old. In .fact I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING “I ruined my hands in the ring … the referee kept stepping on them.”

ON SAILORS “They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure.”

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR “Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover’.”

ON GOLF “Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.”

ON PRESIDENTS ” I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.”

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS “That’s how I learned to dance.  Waiting for the bathroom.”

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.”

ON GOING TO HEAVEN “I’ve done benefits for ALL religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”

~~~

He said: My wife and I divorced over religious differences.  She thought she was God and I didn’t!

~~~

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.”

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the twelve hundred students who went to move twenty six cars return to class.”

~~~

“A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side.”

Aristotle

~~~

An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: “What sort of people were punished in the stocks?”

To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: “The small investor.”

~~~

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

~~~

At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in amazement, one man asked him, “How on earth did you do that?”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”

~~~

According to MODERN BRIDE magazine, the average bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding.  The average groom spends 150 hours saying, “Yeah, sounds good.”

Jay Leno

~~~

Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

“Pretty good I think”, replied Jill, “but if I go to work there I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.

Her mother of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked “Is that what they told you?

“No”, replied Jill, “they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said “vacation time may not be taken until you’ve had your ‘First Anniversary'”

~~~

Scrawled across the dorm wall were the words, “Question Everything!”

A couple of days later someone added one word… “Why?”

~~~

During a training cruise, a destroyer was weaving its way through a myriad of islands and small fishing boats. Although it was a clear day, the radar was in operation to train the reservists. A report came from the radar room to the bridge, “Target bearing 230 degrees, believe it to be a log.”

Unimpressed by this superb job of radar interpretation, the young officer of the deck scanned the water with his powerful glasses. Perceiving a pair of sea gulls on top of the accurately reported log, he barked, “Radar, this is the bridge. Regarding your last reported target, there are two sea gulls on that log which you failed to report!”

There was a long silence as the radar antenna was swung about and pointed in the direction of the log. Then the voice of the chief radarman was heard, “Regarding the last sighting, we have a correction to make, sir. There ARE two sea gulls on that log – one male, the other female!”

~~~

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

~~~

He said: When a new bunch of waiters was hired at the restaurant where I work, our manager asked us all to help out the new people.  Before he opened the place one day, he delivered a rehearsed motivational speech in which he emphasized teamwork and encouraged us all to work together.  “Now remember,” he concluded, “there’s no ‘I’ in team.”

One of the veterans spoke up.  “Yeah,” he said, “but there’s no ‘we’ in ‘tip.,'”

~~~

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

E.E. Cummings

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Comments on: "Be Yourself" (1)

  1. great inspiration, ray –

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