Ray's musings and humor

I can do it

Ray’s Daily

August 1, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“When you think positive, good things happen.”

Matt Kemp

Here we go, a new month that will include more torrid weather. I also have a number of activities scheduled. With my failing eyesight, balance problems and hearing loss some of what I will do will be difficult but not impossible. The reward for staying active and doing all I can do makes it all worthwhile

Thinking positively

If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up.

The secret of life isn’t what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.

Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.

Never use the word impossible seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket.

Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself.

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.

Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself – so always think positively.

Go at life with abandon; give it all you’ve got. And life will give all it has to you.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

“A positive attitude causes a chain of reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.”

Wade Boggs

~~~

A friend sent this to me. I assume that these are memories to forget if you can. Ray

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause arrived at my door without warning:

Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and All-Dried-Up. One by one they crept into my own private cottage in the woods and started to take over my life. The first to arrive was Itchy. I developed this itch on my right calf that was so irritating, I wanted to scratch the skin right off my body.

Then Bitchy came to my door. No longer was my PMS restrained to one or two days a month–it felt like constant PMS. Then I would swing from Bitchy to Weepy for God’s sake, what was wrong with me? Ding-dong… It’s the middle of the night and Sweaty has crawled into bed with me. Oh, yes, Sweaty brought embarrassing hot flashes and introduced me to night sweats where it seemed as if a faucet had been attached between my breasts.

Of course Sweaty brought about Sleepy, because I was tired all the time. I would wake up so many times in the night and not be able to get back to sleep.

Bloated crept in slowly, my once-svelte figure got thick through the middle section, even though I was following my weight-loss program that had worked so well for so many years!

I can’t quite remember when Forgetful arrived, but one day my brain stopped working. I considered myself a pretty focused woman until Forgetful came, and I could not keep a coherent thought in my brain. Am I getting Alzheimer’s? I wondered.

Last, All-Dried-Up slowly encroached upon my happy marriage. This was probably the most unpleasant of the dwarf family. Sex was no longer on the top of my list–or on my list at all. My husband would give me that knowing look, and I would think, “Frankly, I’d rather have a smoothie.”

~~~

It’s no use having a good memory unless you have something good to remember.

~~~

The Scottsman comes to his friend in tears. “My beautiful comb. I broke a tooth on it an now I can’t use it anymore. What am I going to do? Now I’ll have to buy another one.”

“Well,” said his friend, “you don’t need to buy another just because you lost one tooth on your comb.”

“But you don’t understand. It was the last tooth.”

~~~

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

~~~

On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient’s condition. “This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly.”

The doctor then began listing orders:

“You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first.”

“He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours.”

“He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.

“Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day.”

“Give range of motion every thirty minutes.”

“He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour.”

“Feed him something tasty every hour.”

“Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times.

“Chart his condition and vital signs every twenty minutes.”

“You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well.”

The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient’s room. She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about the patient.

The nurse started, “The doctor said that you will live.”

Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, “But you will have to learn a new sport.”

~~~

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Pioneer Girls Leaders’ Handbook

~~~

Nancy complained to Pat, “Martha told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.”  

“Well,” replied Pat in a hurt tone, “I told her not to tell you I told her.”  

“Oh dear!” sighed Nancy. “Well, don’t tell her I told you that she told me.”  

~~~

“If you see the world and yourself through a lens smudged by negativity, then you’ll find much misery. If you look outwards and inwards through lens brightened by positivity you’ll find much to be happy and appreciative about.”

Henrik Edberg

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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