Ray's musings and humor

Keep Going

Ray’s Daily

July 14, 2022

http://tays-daily.com

Energy and persistence conquer all things.

Benjamin Franklin

As I age I have learned that the secret to a good life is to keep going. It is far to easy to just stop and and take the easy route by givng up on life. We may be a little slower but we still have things we casn still go and places to go.

Stick to it

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill.

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns.

And many a fellow turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man.

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup.

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

Author Unknown

~~~

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Calvin Coolidge

~~~

It was a bright sunny day in Eleria, Ohio, when a gentleman walked into the Mayflower Restaurant. He was seated at a table near the window and the waitress handed him the menu. He didn’t look at it, but politely asked “Do you have any cabbage?”

The waitress, a little startled, replied, “No.”

The man shook his head sadly, and then asked in a quiet tone, “Well then, do you have any lettuce?”

She said, “Yes.”

So he says, “OK, bring me a bowl of lettuce — no dressing.”

Assuming he was some kind of diet fanatic, she goes to the kitchen and brings him a large bowl of lettuce.

As this is the only customer in her station, she retires to the side of the room and — with nothing better to do — watches her customer.

First, the man removes an old pocket watch from his vest and places it on the table. He seems to make note of the time, and then carefully removes one leaf of lettuce.

With with the flat of his knife, he smoothed out the leaf, stands up, and places the leaf exactly in the center of his seat, and sits down on it. While the waitress watches, fascinated, the man takes another leaf out of the bowl and flattens this one too. He gets up and carefully places the second leaf on top of the first one, and sits down again on the two lettuce leafs. He goes through the bowl, removing the lettuce leafs one at a time, flattening each, and them sitting on them. When he gets to the last full leaf and sits on it, he peers at his watch and, with a satisfied grin, calls over the waitress and asks for another bowl of lettuce.

She is about to go to the kitchen to get it, when her curiosity overcomes her and she says, “Excuse me, but why are you sitting on that lettuce?”

The man calmly replies, “Well, you told me that you didn’t have any cabbage!”

~~~

Something has to be wrong, we spend sixty million a year on medical research and two billion on get-well cards!

~~~

Even if you’re not a grandparent you will enjoy this.

A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their spring vacation.

— We always spend our vacation with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big, brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.

— They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore.

— They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.

— There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.

— At their gate there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.

— My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds.

— Some of the people can’t get past the man in the doll house to go out, so the ones who get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.

— My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded one day, too.

— When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

The woman says….. “I’ll miss you.”

~~~

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:

BACK STRAIGHT,

KNEES BENT,

FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

QUIET PLEASE . . .

WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES . .

 WELL DONE. NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF. . .

~~~

“Osborne’s Law” Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

~~~

A grandmother overheard 5-year-old Christy “playing wedding.” The wedding vows went like this: “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”

~~~

The most essential factor is persistence–the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.

James Whitcomb Riley

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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