Ray's musings and humor


Ray’s Daily

July 8, 2022


“Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, and a negative, judgmental attitude.” 

Joyce Meyer

A Ray’s Daily reprint from July 8, 2003

Nobody’s Friend

My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice.

I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.

I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.

My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name or face.

To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

I am nobody’s friend.

Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.

I topple governments and wreck marriages.

I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. I make headlines and headaches.

Readers, before you repeat a story, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary?

If it isn’t, don’t repeat it.



Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

William Shakespeare


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS….What’s for dinner?

SAFER….Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST….Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE….Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS….Are you wearing that?

SAFER….Wow, you look good in brown.

SAFEST….WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE….Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS….What are you so worked up about?

SAFER….Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST….Here’s fifty bucks.

ULTRASAFE….Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS….Should you be eating that?

SAFER….You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST….Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE….Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS….What did you do all day?

SAFER….I hope you didn’t over-do it today.

SAFEST….I’ve always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE….Have some more chocolate.

And remember: Money talks….But Chocolate sings.


Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.


Jack couldn’t get his girlfriend to agree to marry him, until one day his grandfather died, leaving him $10 million.  Oddly enough, the next week, his girlfriend, Diane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names!

Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

“Diane,” he said, “the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million when he died!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”


There’s nothing like riding a horse to make a person feel better off.


I saw my mom carrying 10 shopping bags from Bloomingdales the other day.

I said what are you doing?

She said, exercising.


Two Rabbis were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.

“I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one of them self-righteously. “Did you?”

“I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”


There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.


A nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. “I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today,” she said. “Are you light-headed?” my colleague asked. “No, I’m a brunette.”


During their silver anniversary, Esther reminded her husband Morris, “Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?”

Morris replied, “Yes, Esther, that was the happiest hour of my life.”


Why is it that when you eat too much for lunch, you feel drowsy all afternoon, but when you eat a big meal in the evening, you stay awake all night?


Two sons were left a large piece of property by their father.  For months they fought over how the land should be divided.  Finally, they brought their problem to their rabbi and asked him to solve it.

“Come back tomorrow,” said the rabbi, “and we’ll talk.”

The next day the sons returned and the rabbi gave them his solution.

“Toss a coin,” he said to one of the brothers. “You call it, heads or tails,” he said to the other. “The one who wins the toss, divides the land.”

“That’s no solution,” said one of the brothers. “We’re right back where we started from.”

“Not so,” said the rabbi.  “The one who wins the toss divides the land; but the other gets first choice.”


“I’ll believe in reincarnation in my next life.”


Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.

David Star Jordan


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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