June 30, 2022
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”
Life goes on and it is up to us to make it as enjoyable as we can. If we become to busy spending time trying to catch up doing meaningless tasks we won’t be able to find the time to enjoy what we have.
Take time to stop today
Take time to stop a while
Reflect on how life changes
Then take the time to smile
Know that as the days go by
These things that challenge you
Will one day just be memories
Of times you have gone through
Look back now on yesterday
And all you have achieved
Recognise the strengths you’ve gained
The blessings you’ve received
One day in the future
You will think about today
You’ll see just how these challenges
Have helped you on your way
Written by Michelle Tetley
“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.”
An old Jewish man reads about Einstein’s theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
“Well, zayda, it’s sort of like this. Einstein says that if you’re having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour. But if you’re sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute.”
The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says, “And from this he makes a living?”
Each one of us can work for a small change in the world around us.
Lamar S. Smith
This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.
“Give me the bad news first.”
“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”
“That’s the bad news?” asked the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”
“He knows so little and knows it so fluently.”
Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament.
“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”
It ain’t necessarily so, but when people with money meet people with experience, the people with experience tend to get the money and the people with the money tend to get experience.
Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.
After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.
Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”
Her son piped up from the back seat, “I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”
My wife is a person who is never outspoken.
A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and so for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face.
“Darling,” she said with obvious pride, “I just hit a brand new Buick!”
“Thought is action in rehearsal.”
Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic – the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. “What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?”
Replied one woman quickly, “Running into you!”
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway.
The bank where I work had just installed its first 24- hour cash machine. I encouraged an elderly gentleman to take an application for the new plastic identification cards, explaining that he would be able to get cash any time of day or night.
He declined, saying, “Lady, anything I’d need money for that late at night I shouldn’t be doing.”
“Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.”
Jules de Gaultier
Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person.
“However, if you’re over 65,” he said, “the price will be only $5.50.”
From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you that information for only fifty cents?”
“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.”
Frank Lloyd Wright
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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