Ray's musings and humor

A blast from the past

Ray’s Daily

June 29, 2022


Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.

J.K Rowling

Ray’s Daily first published on June 29, 2004

One of the things I am grateful for is the friends I have who are from a younger generation. I was thinking about why these younger friends have become some of my best friends. I think I may know the answer. If I talk about a breadbox, running board, Arty Shaw, Sarah Vaughn, Good Humor Bars or the like, their eyes glaze over, as do mine when they talk about contemporary artists, etc. In reality what we have in common is our interest in each other and our interest in the world around us, our conversations are not cluttered up by our generations culture and biases. I just wish that my time with other friends were as productive.

It gets even better when we discover we have the same values, that we listen to each other, and even often enjoy the same movies, food, and travel destinations. That is not to say they don’t have problems, we all do, but the problems seem to pale when we share them with each other. We can talk because we don’t have any hidden agendas or ulterior motives, what you see is what you get.  

Usually their enthusiasm, optimism, and joy is contagious. The only problem I have with all this is that their youth spills over and I become younger, at least I feel I do. However I did have my doubts today when I got some new passport photos and discovered they must have given me someone else’s since I know I am not as old as the guy in the picture. I have decided to use them anyway so that people at passport control points will compliment me on getting over whatever problem I had when the picture was taken.

So those of you from my generation should consider going intergenerational. If you do you will find there are other things to talk about than just our medicines, what is wrong with the world, and all that other old guy stuff. But if you would rather not come out and play with us, that is OK, but don’t expect me to show up for the senior social.


Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Franz Kafka


Becky: Do you love me with all your heart and soul?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Do you think my lips are like rose pedals?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Oh, you say the sweetest things!


Doug:  “I’m a man of few words.”

Bill:  “Yeah, I’m married, too.”


While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?” “No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern. “Oh, good,” she continued. “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”


Wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.


A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn’t once lit up a cigarette.  “Are you trying to kick the habit?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.  “I have a cold, and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”

“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.”


A young man is reported to have approached the renowned composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (one of the great musical prodigies of all time), and asked, “Herr Mozart, I have the ambition to write symphonies and perhaps you can advise me how to get started.”

Mozart said, “The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older and more experienced, and try your hand at less ambitious pieces to begin with.”

The young man looked astonished. “But, Herr Mozart, you your- self wrote symphonies when you were considerably younger than I.”

“Ah,” said Mozart, “but I did so without asking advice.”


Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised…


These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking among themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent and impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth.

The Jewish men are dumbfounded. “My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?” they both think. After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, an old friend also fluent in Yiddish, “Where did your waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?”

The owner looks around and leans in so no one will hear and says, “Shhhh. He thinks we’re teaching him English.”


People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.


Jon, Brian, and Amanpreet were all locked away in a mental institution for many many years.

One day, the head quack tells them that if they pass a test he wanted to administer to them, they’d be deemed mentally competent and free to leave the nut house. Should they fail, however, they’d be locked away for another five years of observation.

All three took the doc up on his offer.  The four of them went to the hospital’s indoor pool.  The pool was drained of water.  The doctor leads the patients up to the diving platform, some 60 feet in the air.

The doctor motions to Jon.  “Jump.”

Without hesitation, Jon leaps off the platform, right into the pool, breaking both arms in the process.

The doctor notes this on his clipboard and tells Brian, “Jump.”

Also without hesitation, Brian flies off the platform into the empty poll, breaking both of his legs.

After noting the results on his clipboard, the doctor tells Amanpreet, “Jump.”

Amanpreet shakes his head.  “Naw.  I don’t think so.”

The doctor notes this on his clipboard rather enthusiastically and says, “Congratulations, ‘Preet.  You’re a free man.  Just tell me one thing. Why didn’t you jump?”

“Easy,” Amanpreet says, “I can’t swim .”


Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?


A man, exiting a grocery store, was very surprised when a rather good-looking and perky young lady greeted him cheerfully by saying, “Good evening!” Her face was beaming. At least she was smiling until he gave her that “Who are you?” look. He couldn’t remember ever having seen her before.

Then, she obviously realized that a mistake had been made and apologized. She explained, “Oh, I’m so sorry. When I first saw you I thought you were the father of one of my children.” She walked on her way into the store.

The man was left staring dumbfounded after her. More than a bit puzzled, he thought to himself, “What is the world coming to, an attractive woman who doesn’t even keep track of what the father of her children look like.”

However, he was also a bit flattered that he might resemble one of her former suitors. But, also hoped that nobody overheard her saying that she mistook him for being the father of one of her children. A bit panicked, he then thought, “Could I possibly have forgotten a relationship?” 

“Could  it be that I really fathered a child?” Still stunned, he walked to his car.

He still did not realize, of course, that she was a fifth-grade teacher at a local elementary school


Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

Eleanor Roosevelt


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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