Ray's musings and humor

Enjoy Your Weekend

Ray’s Daily

May 26, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“We take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

Cynthia Ozick

As we start to get ready for the up coming three day Memorial Day weekend I hope you will do something that pleases you. It is good to remember those who have gone on but there is plenty of time to also find a pleasant experience. The list below offers some stuff that one person finds enjoyable. I hope you have something planned that will do as much for you.

Some natural highs

As you read this list take just a few moments to think about each one, before going on to the next one.

  • Laughing so hard that your face hurts.
  • No lines at the supermarket, bank or post office.
  • Taking a drive on a pretty road.
  • Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
  • Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
  • Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
  • A good conversation.
  • Lying on a warm, sunny beach.
  • Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
  • Sharing a sunset with someone special.
  • Running through sprinklers.
  • Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
  • Good friends.
  • Overhearing someone say something nice about you.
  • Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
  • Playing with a new puppy.
  • Having someone brush your hair.
  • Swinging on swings.
  • Making and then eating chocolate chip cookies.
  • Holding hands with someone you care about.
  • Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Author Unknown

~~~

“May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators. The crusty old-timer captain is breaking in a brand new navigator. The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator, “Know what this is for?”

“No, sir,” replies the newbie.

“I use it on navigators that get us lost,” explains the captain, winking at his first officer.

The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 and sets it on his chart table.

“What’s THAT for?” queries the surprised captain.

“Well, sir,” replies the navigator, “I’ll know we’re lost before you will.”

~~~

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

Sir John Lubbock

~~~

He said: I walked into my sister’s kitchen and found my nephew, Mitch, having a snack. “Where’s your mother?” I asked.

“She said she was going to take a shower. Just a second and I’ll see.” Mitch went to the kitchen tap and turned the hot water on full blast. An indignant yell came from above.

Mitch calmly turned off the tap and said, “Yep, she’s in the shower.”

~~~

Life is a riddle; unfortunately the answer’s not written on the back of anything.

~~~

A friend went to her doctor the other day and the man was not very sympathetic with her aches and pains. “You’ll just have to learn to live it,” he said.

When she got her bill for $90, she sent it back, with the notation, “You’ll just have to learn to live without it!”

~~~

One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

Yiddish Proverb

~~~

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left turn indicator is on and has been for some time.”

~~~

On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.

~~~

She said: For many years, I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator for a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president.

A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve my raise.

His reason? I clearly wasn’t doing my job. Every time he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the phone.

~~~

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.

Harold Coffin

~~~

Doug asks, “I know you’re crazy about that little daughter of yours, Bill. What are you going to do when she starts to date?”

Bill says, “I figure I’ll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder and pull him close to me so that only he can hear.” “Then I’ll say, ‘Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She’s my only daughter and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember, I don’t mind going back to prison.'”

~~~

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.

The Wizard of Oz to the Tin Man

~~~

I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch. “You’re going to lose the contents of your briefcase,” I warned him.

Just then, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, “How on earth did you do that?”

~~~

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”

John F. Kennedy

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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