May 19, 2022
“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
It seems as if we learn something new every day. Each of us sees and learns in our own way. The good news is that what we learn helps define who we are. I know I benefit from what my friends and acquaintances share with me. I hope you too keep an open mind that allows new wisdom to flow in.
Learn of Me
A merchant, an old man, and his little daughter met by the side of a fountain of clear, sparkling waters. On the fountain was an inscription that read, “Learn of me!”
The merchant said he learned a great lesson from the fountain. It started as a trickle of water, but as it wended its way to the sea, it was joined by streams and brooks and creeks and, in due course, became a roaring river. We should do our work likewise, start with little beginnings and soon develop big businesses.
The old man said that the lesson he learned from the fountain was to serve silently, friends and strangers alike.
The little girl said that the lesson she learned was that the water is useless unless it is pure. Therefore, we should live a clean and chaste life.
The teacher is one. Everyone learns according to his or her aptitude and capacity. In this school of life the day on which we have not learned something new is a lost day indeed.
“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”
Anthony J. D’Angelo
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.”
Her husband replied, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.”
The wife responded, “But we’ve never subscribed to any papers!”
The only thing that men will brag about theirs being smaller than another man’s is his cell phone.
Over a pleasant evening meal Bill, John and Doug were discussing going to the gym and the various effects of working out.
Doug said that it was possible to get “pectoral inserts” for the “reasonable” cost of $6000.
Bill snickered, looked completely aghast and commented, “For $6000 you could get a personal trainer and get the same result without surgery.”
John replied, “For $6000 you could get a woman who doesn’t care what you look like.”
How about a constitutional amendment that declares anything said in a campaign speech to be under oath?
The Classifieds If you see this describing a man, here’s what it really means:
40-ish – 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic – Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking – Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated – Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit – Sleeps with your sister
Fun – Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking – Arrogant
Honest – Pathological Liar
Huggable – Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle – Insecure, overly dependent
Mature – Until you get to know him
Open-minded – Wants to sleep with your sister
Physically fit – I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet – Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual – Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable – Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful – Says “please” when demanding a beer
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father”
The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that”.
The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many”.
The boy said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.
The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar”.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
There is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your system.
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life.
If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive, so I’m headed for the bar anyway…it never hurts to be safe.
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Rifka and Beckie were talking about their children. Rifka asked Beckie how her daughter was.
“Not too good. My daughter just divorced her husband. He was a doctor.”
Rifka replied, “Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.”
Beckie continued, “Yes, it is sad. Her first husband, whom she divorced three years ago, was a dentist. But she is OK now, she is dating a handsome lawyer.”
“A dentist, a doctor and a lawyer,” Rifka exclaimed, “OY VEY! All these blessings from just one daughter!”
“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.”
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