Ray's musings and humor

You Can Do It

Ray’s Daily

May 12, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Alan Cohen

Ray’s Daily first published on May 12, 2006

~~~

We spent a lot of time this week talking about learning about ourselves, deciding what is important to us and then giving ourselves permission to follow our dreams. If only it was simple, unfortunately for many of us it is not. Life offers us too many easy paths to places we would rather avoid. It is easier to do what we have always done than to pack up and face the unknown. If we do everything that everyone else wants us to do chances are they will not criticize and leave us alone if we do what they want rather than what we want. Let’s face it; it takes courage to commit yourself to finding what is best for yourself when there are so many imagined obstacles in the way.

Unfortunately as we think about what we might do, plan how we might do it, and bank dreams to be withdrawn sometime in the future the clock keeps ticking. Another day, another week, another month, another year goes by and as they pass our desired destination slips further away. I would much rather say that at least I gave myself a chance and tried, than to end life saying if only I would have followed my dream.

Maybe part of our problem is that we often think in terms of black and white, “If I do what I want I will have to walk away from what I have now,” of course that is wrong. If nothing else I at least I can do something I have never done before. If you can’t do everything you want and are afraid of what others might think, put on a mask, use an alias and run off someplace and dance. Life does not have to be dull, but if you want the sizzle you are going to have to jump in the frying pan once in awhile.

At least do something for yourself this weekend, you deserve a reward.

~~~

Perhaps the reward of the spirit who tries is not the goal but the exercise.

E. V. Cooke

~~~

While a small child, I once became lost at the mall.

I found a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents.

After searching for some time, I said to him through tears, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?”

He said, “I don’t know kid. It’s a big mall, and there are so many places they can hide.”

~~~

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”

Wayne Dyer

~~~

A college student has been thrown out of his apartment for not paying his rent, so he sends an e-mail to his father.

“Please send money. I’m in the street.”

The father replies, “Have no money. Watch out for cars.”

~~~

Love doesn’t really make the world go round, but it makes the ride worthwhile.

~~~

ComputerTerms

586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”

Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI (pronounced “gooey”): What your computer becomes after spilling your pop on it.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

~~~

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

~~~

An old Jewish man, Mr. Goldberg, dies and his family is planning the funeral. The local rabbi, they discover, is on a trip to Israel. After many telephone calls, they manage to reach a rabbi from the next town; he agrees to officiate at the funeral the next day. After chanting the “Kaddish” and “El Molay Rachamim” the rabbi begins his eulogy.

“We are here to mourn the passing of our friend, Mr. Goldberg, a respected citizen and honored member of the community,” Suddenly, an old man jumps up and says, “What are you talking about, Rabbi? This man was a gonnif, a momzer, and would cheat his own grandmother for fifty cents!

“The rabbi decides to take another approach, “We are here to mourn the passing of our friend Mr. Goldberg, a patron of the synagogue and dedicated Talmudic scholar.”

Again the old man jumps up and says, “Are you meshuggeh, Rabbi? This man hasn’t been in a shul since his bar mitzvah!”

Again, the rabbi begins his eulogy, “We are here to mourn the passing of our friend, Mr. Goldberg, a loving husband and dedicated father.” Once again the old man jumps up and says, “Rabbi, you obviously didn’t know Goldberg. He cheated on his wife whenever he could and he never had time to spend with his children!”

At this point, the rabbi is at a loss for words. Finally, he says, “My friends, have we not as Jews suffered from the insults and prejudices of our neighbors? Must we stoop to their level and speak ill of our own people? Surely, there is someone in this congregation who knew Mr. Goldberg and can say something good and kind about his life.”

After an entire minute of silence, the old man stands up again and says, “His brother was worse!”

~~~

Heredity is something parents comfortably believe in, if they have a bright child.

~~~

A mouse returned to his cage from the laboratory and told a fellow mouse, “I’ve finally got Dr. Snooker trained.”

“You have?” asked the other.

“Yes, explained the first mouse. “Every time I press down a bar, he gives me food.”

~~~

Happiness is the place between too little and too much.

~~~

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells “Give me a beer, or…!”

Scared, the bartender serves the man his beer. This happens everyday for a week  straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it.

The next day, the hooligan returns.

“Give me a beer, or…!”

“O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?” stammers the bartender.

“A small Coke.”

~~~

She said: I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I commented, “I don’t think that is going to help.”

“Sure it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers…”

~~~

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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