Ray's musings and humor

Dare to be different

Ray’s Daily

April 28, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.

Albert Einstein

Ray’s Daily first published on April 28, 2010 9:42 AM

There is a major oil spill in the gulf, the temperature has plunged to near freezing, and I am off to meet with a former colleague and lasting friend prior to attending a lecture on US – China relations. Rather than making an attempt at sharing wisdom I decided to go back six years and see what I had to say then. Here is what I wrote on April 28, 2004.

~~~

One of my pals sent this piece of wisdom:

If you spend all your energy avoiding the possibility of failure, failure is precisely what you’ll get. To avail yourself of life’s rewards, you must be willing to live with some of life’s risks. It is indeed foolish to take unnecessary risks. It is even more foolish to avoid risk completely.

When you take action, there’s always a chance that something will go wrong. Yet if you never go ahead with the action, you’ll never get anything accomplished. When you make a decision, there’s always a chance that you could be wrong. Yet if you never made a decision, you’d never get anything right.

There is risk in life, and life is certainly worth the risk. Know the risks, prepare for them, manage them, and get accustomed to living with them. Be willing to live with the possibility of failure. And you’re on your way to achieving amazing success.

Each of us is conditioned from the time we are little to conform. Parents set rules, society imposes convention, managers set limits, and friends criticize. My fear has always been that the more restrictions and limits we place on others the more we assure their conformance and stifle their performance. I think that spills into our private lives as well, many of us are so conditioned that we don’t even consider breaking out of our molds. Look around and I think you will see that those who have the most fun, those that get the most done, and those who have the greatest amount of self satisfaction are the non-conformists. So do something crazy once in awhile, forget the critics and enjoy the people who will join you as you proceed to enjoy life.

~~~

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don’t want to buy things they don’t need to impress people they dislike.

Emile Henry Gauvreau

~~~

Carolyn sent this to us, I doubt she is a blonde.

Why won’t they hire blondes as pharmacists? (They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.)

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? (It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.)

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? (To see what was on the other side.)

Why do blondes have more fun? (They’re easier to amuse.)

Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air? (She missed.)

Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? (Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.)

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs? (She needed them for the darkroom she was building.)

~~~

Maxine on “Lawn Care”

“The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

~~~

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out “CROSS.” Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.”

The pastor hollered out “GRACE.” The congregation began to sing “AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said “POWER.” The congregation sang “THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD”.

The Pastor said “SEX!” The congregation fell in total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “PRECIOUS MEMORIES.”

~~~

We can’t change how we started out but starting now we can change the ending.

~~~

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when CAN we see the baby?”

“WHEN IT CRIES!” she told them.

“WHEN IT CRIES??” they demanded. “Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??”

“BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it…”

~~~

A rabbi took a job at a Duracell factory. His job is to stand on the production line and as the batteries go by, say, “I wish you long life”

~~~

An evangelist had a great revival camp going.  One night he was up in front of a large audience, speaking on imperfection.  He asked his audience towards the end, “Has anyone ever known anyone who has come CLOSE to the perfection of our lord, Jesus Christ?”

Nobody, of course raised their hand.  So he issued the question again.  “Anybody! Has ANYONE ever known that kind of perfection?”

Finally a guy in the back raised his hand, so of course he was asked to stand up. “Tell us.  Tell us who you knew who was so close to perfection.”

The man responded, “My wife’s first husband.”

~~~

“We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”

Will Rogers

~~~

Mr. & Mrs. Jones were eating breakfast one morning and Mrs. was reading a letter while she ate.

Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

“Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that?  I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience.  You did write to her, didn’t you?”

“Er, yes, honey, I did,” said the husband.  “But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience’, so I substituted ‘risk’.” (last time we checked, this husband was still recovering from his injuries.)

~~~

I had amnesia once — or twice.

~~~

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck.

Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.

“No,” she replied, “but we have a lobby. You can wait there.”

~~~

The idea that men are created free and equal is both true and misleading: men are created different; they lose their social freedom and their individual autonomy in seeking to become like each other.

David Riesman

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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