April 6, 2022
“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”
Vincent van Gogh.
I feel sorry for the folks who are stuck in their lives and miss what they would find if the ventured off the beaten path. No matter how old we are good things await those of us who are not reluctant to step out and discover the benefits of trying something new.
Here is a poem that reminded me that some of the best things in my life resulted from my trying sometning new.
THINGS NOT DONE BEFORE
by Edgar A. Guest
The things that haven’t been done before,
Those are the things to try;
Columbus dreamed of an unknown shore
At the rim of the far-flung sky,
And his heart was bold and his faith was strong
As he ventured in dangers new,
And he paid no heed to the jeering throng
Or the fears of the doubting crew.
The many will follow the beaten track
With guideposts on the way,
They live and have lived for ages back
With a chart for every day.
Someone has told them it’s safe to go
On the road he has traveled o’er,
And all that they ever strive to know
Are the things that were known before.
A few strike out, without map or chart,
Where never a man has been,
From the beaten paths they draw apart
To see what no man has seen.
There are deeds they hunger alone to do;
Though battered and bruised and sore,
They blaze the path for the many,
Who do nothing not done before.
The things that haven’t been done before
Are the tasks worth while to-day;
Are you one of the flock that follows,
Or are you one that shall lead the way?
Are you one of the timid souls that quail
At the jeers of a doubting crew,
Or dare you, whether you win or fail,
Strike out for a goal that’s new!
“I realized something on the ride. I realized if I wait until I’m not scared to try new things, then I’ll never get to try them at all.”
Mary: I’ll tell you one thing! I’m never going out with my friend Shirley again!
Jill: Why on earth not? You two are best friends!
Mary: Yeah, well, last night a good-looking man walked up to our table at the bar, said hello, and told us his name. I told him that my name is Mary, and introduced my friend Shirley. He said, “Wow! On a one to ten scale, you two ladies make a twenty!”
I said, “Really?”
He said, “Yeah! Your friend Shirley here is definitely a 15!”
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I’ve only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, “You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me.”
“Oh, really?” replied the other. “I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you.”
Three old guys out walking.
First one says. “Windy isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No its Thursday”!!
Third one says. “So am I. Lets go get a beer”.
A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as his neighbor’s.
There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with the Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.”
The Chihuahua guy replies, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”
“Just follow my lead.” They walk over to the restaurant and the guy with the Doberman puts on dark glasses, then walks in.
The maitre d’ stops him, “Excuse me sir, but there are no pets allowed.”
The Doberman guy explains, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The maitre d’ questions, “A Doberman Pinscher?”
“Yes, they’re using them now, they’re very good and offer great protection.”
The maitre d’ seems satisfied and lets him in.
The Chihuahua guy figures, “What the heck,” so he puts on his dark glasses and starts to walk in.
“I am very sorry but we do not allow pets.”
The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The maitre d’ asks suspiciously, “A Chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?”
“You mean they gave me a Chihuahua!?!”
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or starts to leak.
An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.”
“Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?”
The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.”
The friend looks at him quizzically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, but…”
“What do you think” says the rabbi, “that I do this for free?”
Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously.
“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?”
“I don’t have to laugh,” she said. “I’m leaving Friday.”
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
William Ralph Inge
John came home from the office and found Jill sobbing convulsively. “I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled John. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes, and it’s lucky you have,” said Jill, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”
“To learn something new, you need to try new things and not be afraid to be wrong.”
Roy T. Bennett.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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