Ray's musings and humor

How Will Your Day Go?

Ray’s Daily

March 29, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.

Lou Holtz

Here is a poem I have always liked. It reminds me of the value of thinking about each day before it ends. There may not be a lot we can do but what we do do can be done with kindness. I will do my best today and I am sure you will too.

Have You Earned Your Tomorrow

By Edgar Guest

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?

     Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?

This day is almost over, and its toiling time is through;

     Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you?

Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along?

Or a churlish sort of “Howdy” and then vanish in the throng?

Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way,

Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today?

Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that’s slipping fast,

     That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed?

Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;

     Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent?

     Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?

As you close your eyes in slumber do you think that God would say,

     You have earned one more tomorrow by the work you did today?

~~~

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Don Miguel Ruiz

~~~

John bought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.

As they arrived at the door, his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.

“My goodness”, said Peter, “and how long have you been married?”

“22 years”, replied John.

“You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”

“Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous.”

~~~

Flirtation, attention without intention.

Max O’Rell

~~~

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband’s sports jackets.

Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.

The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a ‘bug’ planted by the conspiracy defendants.

The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis.

Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests.

“We’re not sure where the disc came from,” the FBI told him, “but we discovered that when you press it, it plays ‘Jingle Bells.'”

I also have a tie that has a disc sewn in that plays Jingle Bells also, I am not sending it to the FBI, please don’t tell them, the tie was a gift. – Ray

~~~

“Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Blonde definitions

Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.

Control \kon-trol’\: A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse \i-klips’\: what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes \hee’-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty \mis’-tee\: How some golfers create divots.

Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: two physicians.

Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm! .

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: what penguins see with.

Primate \pri’-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief \ree-leef’\: what trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck \rub’-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress \seem’-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish \sel’-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued \sub-dood’\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed \sood’-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government.

~~~

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

Theodore Isaac Rubin

~~~

George Burns told a story about cheating on his wife once during their marriage.  He kept it to himself, but he felt so bad that he bought Gracie a beautiful diamond bracelet.  Finally, after several years had gone by, he confessed to Gracie about his indiscretion. 

She said, “I know.  I was hoping you’d do it again.  I wanted a ring to match.”

~~~

“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”

Joe Weinstein

~~~

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s lawyer made this point: “Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years.”

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted: “Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years.”

~~~

I believe that in life, you have to give things your best shot, do your best. You have to focus on what needs to be done, do the right thing, not the popular thing.

David Cameron

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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