Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

March 9, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

Winston Churchill

Gas prices are up, food prices are up, stock values have fallen and the global situation has worsened. It is a time when it would be easy to throw up our hands and give in to depression which would only make things worse. As hard as it is I choose to find ways that allow me to stay positive. Staying upbeat during these turbulent times is not easy but the alternative would be worse. So my friends it is up to us to do the best we can and I wish us all well.

Positive Or Negative Thinking?

“If you are not happy with your life or whatever happens in it, discipline your disappointments; it is not external but a result of our internal way we view, believe, and do things in the world.”

The choices we make determine the quality of our lives, and whatever is happening in our lives, we use it to succeed or to fail, either it is good or bad, and it is mostly determined by our attitude.

Everything is mental; everything is a personal choice and a total responsibility of each one of us. Our attitude is the reason to do the necessary changes or the reason to blame others for our poor performances,for our mistakes or for our ignorance in certain topics.

At the end, the quality of our lives is up to each one of us. The formula is simple and factual: When we choose to focus in negativity it is what we attract, and when we choose to focus in positivity itis what we attract. It is time to be honest with ourselves; nobody can make us miserable or happy, successful of failures but our attitude – the positive or negative way we choose to view the world.

The moment we take responsibility for our life, our life will definitely change. Take action now; there is no such thing as the perfect time or right moment.

Choose to be happy, nothing is more important than feeling good. Life is too short – VERY, VERY SHORT. Don’t let the opportunities and blessings of life fly from your hands.

Wishing you a fulfilled life,

Eduardo Dominguez

~~~

“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.”

Pat Riley

~~~

A t-shirt on the back of a passing motorcyclist said if “You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off.”
~~~

There really is a difference

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.

~~~

“Don’t ya just hate it when you see one of those road signs that says ‘Draw Bridge Ahead’ and you don’t have a pencil.”

~~~

The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, “Now look Nancy, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here.

The boss pressed on, “Who told you that you could come and go as you please around here ?”

Nancy simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, ….”My lawyer.”

~~~

David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife.  He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary.

“David!!  David!!  Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today.  What do you suggest?”

David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?”

~~~

Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

~~~

Chet: How does Wilma like being pregnant, Bert?

Bert: She’s not “pregnant.” She’s “expecting.”

Chet: Oh!

Bert: She’s expecting me to do more housework. She’s expecting me to cook dinner. She’s expecting me to rub her feet, etc.

~~~

I asked a girl what her sign was, and she said “Stop”.

~~~

What a Difference 30 yrs. makes:

1970: Long hair, 2000: Longing for hair.

1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1970: KEG. 2000: EKG

1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux

1970: Moving to California because its cool. 2000: Moving to California because its warm.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage.

1970: Paar. 2000: AARP

1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer

1970: Hoping for BMW. 2000: Hoping for BM.

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint. 2000: Getting a new hip joint.

1970: Rolling Stones. 2000: Kidney stones.

1970: Being called into the principals office. 2000: Calling the principal’s office.

1970: Peace sign. 2000: Mercedes logo.

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut. 2000: Children begging you to get their head shaved.

1970: Passing the drivers test. 2000: Passing the vision test.

1970: “Whatever.” 2000: “Depends.”

~~~

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway

~~~

Taking up painting, an asylum inmate worked for weeks on his masterpiece.  When he finally showed it to asylum doctors, they were stunned.  The canvas was entirely blank.

“Ummmm, yeah, it’s lovely,” said one psychiatrist, “but, er…what is it?”

“Why,” the inmate proudly replied, “it is a painting of the exodus from Egypt.”

“I see,” said another doctor.  “Actually, what I don’t see is the Red Sea.”

“Ah,” said the inmate, “it’s been parted…driven back, as it says in the Old Testament.”

“And the Israelites?”

“They have already passed through.”

“And what of the Egyptians?” demanded another.

“Are you blind?”  said the artist, growing indignant. “They haven’t arrived yet!”

~~~

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

~~~

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a purse, the owner didn’t have any change for a reward.”

~~~

“Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better.”

Harvey Mackay

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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