February 3, 2022
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
The “sure thing” boat never gets far from shore.
Ray’s Daily first published on February 3, 2003
The loss of our astronauts this weekend brought back memories of the first NASA tragedy, the death of Gus Grissom and his crewmates, Edward White II and Roger Chaffee while they were in a training simulation on January 27, 1967. Like now, everything was brought to a standstill until the causes could be determined and verification made that everything associated with space flight was fault-free. It became personal to me when I was chosen to be a member of a Sperry-Univac team responsible for the review of our computer functions at the Johnson Space Center.
I like many others, wondered about the value of the program because of the associated risks. But as I thought it through I decided that almost all the great discoveries have been made by risk-takers. Those of us who never take any risks are destined for stagnation. The real tragedy in this world is the death of children, through disease, accident, or famine who never even have the chance to make the choices that we all make as we mature.
We will long remember the sacrifice made by those who died this weekend. We should also be grateful as we remind ourselves that they, and people like them are responsible for most of the great things that have happened since the beginning of time.
More advice from our personal trainer:
Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain… Good.
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Hello… Cocoa beans?!… Another vegetable! It’s the best feel good food around!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie… flour is a veggie!
One more thing…
“When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt.”
Some folks wear their halos much too tight…
There was an article I read about a little girl’s insight into boys which was particularly insightful:
“Boys are no good at all until they grow up and get married. Men who don’t get married are no good either. Boys are an awful bother. They want everything except soap. My mom is a woman, and my dad is a man. A woman is a grown up girl with children. My dad is such a nice man that I think he must have been a girl when he was a boy.”
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
Husband: “I’m sorry dear, but I’m up to my neck in work today.”
Wife: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear.”
Husband: “Okay, darling, but as I’ve got very little time now, so just give me the good news.”
Wife: “Well, the air bag works.”
Familiarity breeds children.
The insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to take out a life insurance policy. “Now supposing your husband were to die,” he said, “what would you get?”
“Oh, a Labrador, I think,” replied the housewife. “They’re always good company!”
So one guy says to another guy, ” Goldberg and Rosenstern were talking one day…HOLD IT !, his friend interrupts him,
“Always with the Jewish jokes! Give it a rest! Why do they always have to be about Jews? Just change the names to another ethnic group for once!”
So he starts again, “Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew’s Bar Mitzvah…”
Did you really think Mr. Rogers wanted you or me as a neighbor?
“Oh, No!” he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know.
He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded.
Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly.
“Danny! Danny!” he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten.
He couldn’t understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.
In desperation, he took another step then cried out, “Danny!”
From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. “Yes, Dad,” he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.
“It’s time to get up and get ready for school,” the man sighed, “and, for heaven’s sake, clean up this room.”
Life is like a game of cards.
The hand that is dealt you represents determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
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