Ray's musings and humor

The Good Life

Ray’s Daily

December 1, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Make the most of yourself–for that is all there is of you.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here we go, a new month. This has been a challenging year for most of us with the health restrictions and contentious world. While it has not been easy most of my friends and family have demonstrated their capacity to cope with each trouble they have encountered. Most of us are stronger from the effort and have what it takes to handle whatever the future brings. The best part is we can do it with a positive stance.

Here is a reminder of how we can invest in the days ahead.

     Reflecting on Life

Take time to stop today

Take time to stop a while

Reflect on how life changes

Then take the time to smile

Know that as the days go by

These things that challenge you

Will one day just be memories

Of times you have gone through

Look back now on yesterday

And all you have achieved

Recognise the strengths you’ve gained

The blessings you’ve received

One day in the future

You will think about today

You’ll see just how these challenges

Have helped you on your way

   Written by Michelle Tetley

~~~

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

 Les Brown

~~~

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register.

“Cash or charge?” the clerk asked.

“Cash,” I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.”

“Shall I gift wrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or are you going back there?”

~~~

Elections: Things that are held to see if the polls were right.

Yasha

~~~

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day, I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”

He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time”?

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”

~~~

“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”

Ray Goforth

~~~

You are no longer “cool” when …..

  • You find yourself listening to talk radio.  
  • You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.  
  • The pattern on your shorts and couch match.  
  • You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.  
  • Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find that sexy.  
  • You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.  
  • When jogging is something you do to your memory.  
  • Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.  
  • Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.  
  • All the cars behind you flash their headlights.  
  • You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son’s new running shoes.  
  • You actually ASK for your father’s advice.  
  • You don’t know how to operate a fax machine.  
  • When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.

~~~

Anger or hatred is like a fisherman’s hook.

It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

Dalai Lama

~~~

Driving to a new restaurant, Margaret took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, “Why didn’t you tell me I was lost?”

“I thought you knew where you were going,” he replied. “You always know where you’re going when I’m driving.”

~~~

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

A SECRETARY’S RULES FOR WORK

1.  Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.  

2.  If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.  

3.  Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.  

4.  If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me.  I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.  

5.  If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.  

6.  Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.  

7.  If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.  

8.  If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.  

9.  If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.  

10.  Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything.  In the corporate food chain, I am plankton.  When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.  

~~~

“How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day.”

Anne Frank

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: