Ray's musings and humor


Ray’s Daily

November 17, 2021


The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.

St. Augustine

Ray’s Daily first published on November 17, 2005

I got an e-mail message yesterday from Nadine in the UK; she bid me a fond farewell as she leaves Merry Old England for a couple of months in South Africa. Her message reminded me that I will be leaving again a week from Saturday for another quick Caribbean cruise. As many of you know I have been fortunate to have been able to travel extensively over the years. I think I have been to more than fifty countries, islands, and territories.

As I think about it I realize that all travel is not the same. This cruise will be our twenty-third I believe. Cruising is great, it is bargain if you don’t over indulge, buy too much stuff, or let the casino empty your pockets. The food is good and often great. You only have to pack and unpack once. And while aboard ship you are entertained and are offered a wide variety of activities. But don’t expect too much from your land visits. Usually you have a day at most, a chance to see one or two sights, lie on a beach, or just do some brief exploring. You can say you have been there but don’t fall into the trap that so many others do by making judgments on the country and its people on the basis of a quick look. It is kind of like saying I don’t like American food because I tried fried chicken once. Fortunately on this trip we will be visiting islands that we have visited many times in the past. We get to see a little more each time but even better, we get to revisit people and places that we have enjoyed on previous trips.

When I have visited other countries for business or pleasure I often found that every day was so full of activities that didn’t have time to sit back and enjoy the people, the food, the sights, and all the special things that happen day by day in every community. Occasionally I have been fortunate enough to have had the time to do more. I found that Rome was different from the vantage point of a sidewalk café, Japan was special in places that had not yet been Westernized, and Thailand looked different from a small boat on the Mekong river. I could go on and on but I won’t. If the truth be known my fondest memories are of the people I met like the family in Upstate New York that treated me like I was one of their own, the priest in Rome who spent a week showing me around, and the Australian couple I dined with in Sri Lanka when it was still Ceylon. The world is full of wonderful things to see, but nothing compares to those special people you meet along the way who are gracious enough to give you some of their time.


The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.

The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes “sight-seeing.”  

Daniel J. Boorstin


An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”


Whatever you are, be a good one.

Abraham Lincoln


A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes…”When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.”


Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”


If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.



* The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.  

* It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.  

* Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.  

* Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.  

* The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.  

* The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.  

* Thunder is a rich source of loudness.  

* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.  

* When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.  

* One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.  

* A monsoon is a French gentleman.  

* To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.  

* Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don’t, why you should.  

* Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.  

* There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.  

* The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.  

* You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.  


“Instant gratification takes too long.”

Carrie Fisher


England’s West Country is known for its charming cottage-like shops. While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting looking books. So she went inside.  

A woman appeared though a beaded curtain and asked, “Can I help you?”  

“No, just browsing,” said my friend.  

“Fine,” came the reply. “But so you know, around here most people knock before entering someone’s home.”  


We spend money we don’t have for things we don’t need in order to impress people we don’t like.


After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”

“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?”

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: “Your husband had an unusual concern.” He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?”

“Oh that crazy old jerk,” she replied. “That’s because the first time is usually in August and the second time is in January.”


If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

James Michener


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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