October 8, 2021
You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.
As we go through life we sometimes are our worst enamies. I mean we often take things too seriously and get mad. Other people can upset us only if we let them. I have found over the years that some folks are quick to judge and criticize while not realizing what they are doing. I have learned not to let others upset me and how not reacting in anger results in continuing relationships.
Here are excerpts from an article written by Marc Chernoff that I thought we might offer friendly reminders on how we can keep our cool.
7 Mantras that Will Stop You from Taking Things Personally
WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOF
Like you, I’m only human, and I sometimes still take things personally when I’m in the heat of the moment. So, I’ve implemented a simple strategy to support the practice of watching my response. In a nutshell, I proactively remind myself NOT to take things personally. Anytime I catch myself doing so, I pause and read a few of the following mantras to myself. Then I take some fresh deep breaths…
- You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.
- You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
- There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.
- Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Listen, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
- You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you – you’re already valuable.
- If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.
- All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.
Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.
When my cousin, Tom, was at the police academy, prior to joining Chicago’s finest, one of his instructors asked him during an oral exam,
“What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He immediately replied, with conviction, “Call for backup.”
When you have accumulated sufficient knowledge to get by, you’re too old to remember it.
We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed. “Dad,” our teenager asked, “how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?” Without hesitation he quipped, “They’re going to give you a phone to hold.”
“Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
discussing things meant to be.
Said one to the others, now listen you two,
there’s a rumor going round that can’t be true,
that man descended from our noble race
the very idea is a great disgrace.
No monkey has ever deserted his wife
starved her babies and ruined her life
and you’ve never known a mother monk
to leave her babies with others to bunk,
or pass from one onto another
till they scarcely know who is their mother.
Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do
go out at night and get on a stew
or use a gun or club or knife
to take some other monkey’s life
yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
but brother, he didn’t descend from us.
I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a remote township she attended a medical clinic. As the Maasai women there began to sing together, she found herself deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies. She wanted to always remember this moment and try to share it with friends when she arrived home. With tears flowing down her cheeks, she turned to her friend and asked, “Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?” Her friend looked at her an solemnly replied, “If you boil the water, you won’t get dysentery.”
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”
“Of course,” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”
The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
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