October 7, 2021
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
I think the thing I value the most, after my family, is the friends I have made over the years. I do miss the many who have gone on and those who have drifted away. They all have left fond memories. I know it would be hard to face the future alone that is why making new friends while keeping old friends can make your days rewarding.
So my friends I just want you always to know you are appreciated. Here is something to remind you just how important you are.
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in “you”
(C)alls you just to say “HI”
(D)oesn’t give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust “be” with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don’t understand
(Y)ells when you won’t listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
More Rules For Living
1. Never give yourself a haircut.
2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship “I apologize” and “You are right.”
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”
7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her–believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
9. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
12. Work is good, but it’s not that important.
13. And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Age sneaks up on you rather quickly! THAT IS FACT, NOT FICTION!
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”
A Secretary’s Rules For Their Boss
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I am not here for the money anyway.
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Esther wanted a divorce from Irving. The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”
“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”
“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”
“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”
“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”
“I didn’t know it before I married him.”
Irving shouted out, “She did too!”
The best thing about the Future is that it only comes one day at a time!
Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy.
“I certainly don’t want to frighten you into a decision,” he announced, standing up to leave.
“Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.”
If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.
As a kid I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, “All you can drink for a dime.” So some kid would come up, plunk down his dime, drink a glass, and say, “Refill it.”
I’d say, “That’ll be another dime.”
“How come? Your sign says — All you can drink for a dime!”
“Well, you had a glass didn’t you?”
“That’s all you can drink for a dime.”
“To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway.”
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.
Seneca the Younger
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