Ray's musings and humor


Ray’s Daily

September 15, 2021


The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.

The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes “sight-seeing.”

Daniel J. Boorstin

Ray’s Daily first published on September 15, 2005


There is a lot of wisdom in the above quote. Seldom have I ever had the opportunity to both travel and tour at the same time. A friend and I discussed this a few days ago over breakfast. We both shared stories of our trips to other lands. We talked about people we met and how much pleasure we had we stopped long enough to enjoy the neighborhoods and the people we met.

I am sorry that I seldom travel any more, I mostly tour. When I traveled with Kiwanis and UNICEF we often experienced great things as we visited remote villages, ate exotic foods, and enjoyed a wide variety of wonderful people.

You can go to Paris and visit the Eiffel Tower; it really is worth seeing, but please don’t miss spending a few hours sitting at a Café in Montmartre, stroll by the artists who are displaying their work, and breathe the air. Or even better find a restaurant that is off the beaten path and savoir the food, the people and the atmosphere. And please, please don’t behave like the American tourist stereotype when you are there. In Rome make sure you visit the Vatican Museum but don’t overlook the fruit and flowers you will find in an open market. In all honesty, I would love to spend a week in Spain or in another of my favorite countries and just stay in one place, sitting at an outside table and let the world go by.

Friday I will be off again, this time for a quick trip to Bermuda. I again will be a tourist; I will take many pictures, see many sights, and spend most of my time with other tourists, the same people I can meet at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love cruising, I love getting a little taste of what other places have to offer, but it is no substitute for the warmth and adventure that comes from meeting a stranger and turning them into a friend.

So tomorrow I will again sail off into the sunset bidding you a fond farewell. I will be out of contact spending a lot of time resting while others frolic. But don’t jump for joy or fret, I will be back in action in a week and the daily will again descend on your computer each weekday morning until November when I will again go a traveling. Yes I said travel and not tour; I will tell you more about that at another time.

So everyone listen up, in case I forget tomorrow, you are required to enjoy next week, play each day, and stay out of trouble if you can. If you can’t stay out of trouble you at least you will have gotten more enjoyment out the week than most people will.


For the perfect idler, for the passionate observer it becomes an immense source of enjoyment to establish his dwelling in the throng, in the ebb and flow, the bustle, the fleeting and the infinite. To be away from home and yet to feel at home anywhere; to see the world, to be at the very center of the world, and yet to be unseen of the world, such are some of the minor pleasures of those independent, intense and impartial spirits, who do not lend themselves easily to linguistic definitions. The observer is a prince enjoying his incognito wherever he goes. 

Charles Baudelaire


You might be from Las Vegas If…..  

* – You no longer associate bridges with water.  

* – You can say 110 degrees without fainting.  

* – You can make instant sun tea.  

* – You learn that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.  

* – The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.  

* – You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.  

* – You discover you can get a sunburn through your car window.  

* – You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.  

* – It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is on the streets.  

* – Hot water comes out of both taps.  

* – You actually burn your hand opening the car door.  

* – No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.   

* – Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?  

* – You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.  


More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

John Kirk Nelson


In a little town, tucked into the woods and far from the main roads, the Jews were afraid that the Messiah would come and pass them by. They decided to build a tower on the outskirts of town, and appointed one of the town’s beggars to serve there as watchman. If the Messiah should come, the watchman would give him directions to the town.

One day a stranger approached the tower, and the watchman came down to greet him. “What are you doing here in the middle of the forest?” asked the stranger.

“I sit on top of the tower and wait for the Messiah,” answered the watchman.

“How do you like your job?” the stranger asked. “I’m sure it doesn’t pay very much.”

“That’s true,” answered the watchman. “But it’s steady work.”


My friend admitted she was forty but she didn’t say when.


A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, “My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains,” the homeowner replied.

“Normally, yes,” the lady said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”


We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

Alfred E. Newman


Shortly after reporting to the 101st Airborne Division, we were ordered to fall out in our dress uniforms. Only problem was, I didn’t know how to tie a necktie. So I asked the guy in the next bunk for help.

“Sure,” he said. “Lie down.”

Confused, I lay down on the bunk and he tied my tie.

“Sorry, but this is the only way I know how,” he said. “comes from practicing on my father’s clients.”

“What does your father do?”

“He’s a mortician.”


“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

Ed Furgol.


“So, Mr. Clark,” the doctor says to one of his patients, “I see by your chart that you’ve been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you’re released?”

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, “Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That’s still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it’s like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I’ve grown interested in lately.”

Dr. Leroy nods and says, “Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.”

The patient replies, “And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot.”


Browbeaten Bill once told me that his marriage was secure. “My wife would never file for divorce from me. She’d never do anything to make me happy!”


“Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.”

Soren Kierkegaard


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


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