Ray's musings and humor

Don’t Stumble

Ray’s Daily

August 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Very often we are our own worst enemy as we foolishly build stumbling blocks on the path that leads to success and happiness.”

Louis Binstock

Ray’s Daily first published on August 3, 2005

~~~

Boy is this true or what? It seems like we can find all kinds of reasons to avoid opportunity to be happy. I bet you can think of hundreds of reasons why people fail to take a chance on happiness. For some it is the fear that they will do something others will think foolish, others let shyness keep them from letting people know what they have to offer, the list goes on and on. I sometimes think that there are people who are only happy when they are unhappy (think about that one), they are the naysayers we meet every day. I prefer those who holler load and clear, “Here world, here I come.

” Dance some, laugh a lot, especially at yourself, and enjoy, it is up to you. So “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” here we come.

~~~

Some one sent me these don’ts that seem to hit the mark:

  • Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings. When you’re happy, give in to it. When you’re not, live with it.
  • Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better; you might be surprised at the results.
  • Don’t ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders.
  • Don’t ever feel threatened by the future; take life one day at a time.
  • Don’t ever feel guilty about the past; what’s done is done. Learn from any mistakes you might have made.
  • Don’t ever feel that you are alone. There is always somebody there for you to reach out to.
  • Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. It’s not as hard as it seems.
  • Don’t ever stop loving, don’t ever stop believing.
  • Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.

Author Unknown

~~~

Why not seize the pleasure at once, how often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparations.

Jane Austen

~~~

For many of you this will not mean much. For myself and any others that served in the Navy in the fifties this is exactly as it was.

How to Simulate The Life Of A Sailor. . .

Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside & out, & live in it for 6 months.

Repaint your entire house every month.

Raise the thresholds & lower the headers of your front & back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays & Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays & Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can’t turn over without getting out & then getting back in.

Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle loudly, & shout “Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out & trice up.”

Empty all the garbage bins in your house & sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not.

Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu & just ask for hot dogs.

Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. At the alarm, jump up & dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button & tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard & uncoil the garden hose.

Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget-priced coffee grounds per pot, & allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

~~~

May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

~~~

Down in the south, there are many churches known as “answer back” churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.

One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.

He said “If this church is to become better, it must take up it’s bed, and walk.”

The congregation said “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”

Encouraged by their response, he went further.

“If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it’s hindrances and run!”

The congregation replied,

“Let it run, preacher, let it run!”

Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.

“If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it’s wings and fly!”

“Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!” the congregation shouts.

The Preacher gets louder.

“If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!”

The congregation replied.         “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”

~~~

At times, it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you’re a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.  

James G. Sinclair

~~~

There was a history professor and a psychology professor sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”  

The psychology professor replied, “Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs.”  

~~~

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the pork casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!” I replied.

~~~

A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

~~~

Father O’Malley answers the phone:

“Hello, is this Father O’Malley?”

“It is.”

“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”

“I can.”

“Do you know a Ted Houlihan?”

“I do.”

“Is he a member of your congregation?”

“He is.”

“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”

“He will.”

~~~

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

~~~

When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.

Pema Chodron

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Comments on: "Don’t Stumble" (1)

  1. oh, we are –

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