August 2, 2021
”People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”
George Bernard Shaw
I think that we often hold on to our worries so long that they become almost to much to carry. It is especially foolish since so many of our worries seldom turn out to be worthy of our concern.
I learned long ago that anticipating bad outcomes is a waste of time. It is much better to have a problem occasionally than to fear that they are always just ahead. We do not need to carry lingering concerns that eventually keep us from happiness.
Here is a story that reminds us that the longer we let our worries linger the worse they become.
Stop stresing so much
“Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical ‘glass half empty or glass half full’ question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?’
Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.
She replied, ‘From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.’
As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, ‘Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.’”
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
Leo F. Buscaglia
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first session of Housekeeping Tips for Regular People. If you’re a Martha Stewart type of housekeeper, this column is NOT for you. However, for the rest of you, this is your chance to learn 15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that your mother never told you.
SECRET TIP 1: DOOR LOCKS: If a room clearly can’t be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and can’t find the key.
Of course, the locksmith can’t possibly come until tomorrow. CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.
Time: 2 seconds
SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE: No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it’s a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no fuss.
Time: 2-3 minutes
SECRET TIP 3: OVENS: If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they’re a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company’s coming.
Time: 2 minutes
SECRET TIP 4: CLOTHES DRYERS: Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger. CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here.
Time: 2.5 minutes
SECRET TIP 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS: Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.
Time: 3 minutes
SECRET TIP 6: DUST RUFFLES: No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest of us know a dust ruffle’s highest and best use is to hide whatever you’ve managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.)
Time: 4 minutes
SECRET TIP 7: DUSTING: The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under what you can dust around.
Time: 3 minutes
SECRET TIP 8: DISHES: Don’t use them. Use plastic and you won’t have to.
Time: 1 minute
SECRET TIP 9: CLOTHES WASHING (EEWWW): This secret tip is brought to you by an inventive teenager. When this teen’s mother went on a housekeeping strike for a month, the teen discovered you can extend the life of your underwear by two …if you turn it wrong side out and, yes, rerun it.
CAUTION: This tip is recommended only for teens and those who don’t care if they get in a car wreck.
Time: 3 seconds
SECRET TIP 10: IRONING: If an article of clothing doesn’t require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes. Yes, it really does work, or so I’m told, by other disciples of the 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House philosophy.
Time: 5 minutes (including curling your hair)
SECRET TIP 11: VACUUMING: Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don’t bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway.
Time: 5 minutes, entire house; 2 minutes, living room only
SECRET TIP 12: LIGHTING: The key here is low, low, and lower. It’s not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.
Time: 10 seconds
SECRET TIP 13: BED MAKING: Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of seconds over the course of a lifetime.
SECRET TIP 14: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS: Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.
Time: 1 minute
SECRET TIP 15: If you already knew at least 10 of these tips, don’t even think about inviting a Martha Stewart type to your home.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
The detective was leafing through the suspect’s folder. “Hmmm, quite a record.” he said. “Shoplifting, hit-and-run, disorderly conduct, armed robbery,.”
“Yeah, I know.” said the felon. “It took me quite a while to figure out what I was good at.”
I’m so old, I can remember a time when we actually had three branches of federal government.
The teacher was trying to explain to her class the mean of the word “difference” as it is used in arithmetic. She drew seven circles on the blackboard and said to her students: “Watch as I erase four of the circles. Now, Billy, tell me, what’s the difference?”
Billy spoke up quickly, “That’s what I say, what’s the difference? Who cares?”
“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”
George F. Burns
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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