July 28, 2021
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
For the last few years I have really appreciated the friendship of fellow residents Marci and Gill and members of their family. This special couple are warm and friendly folks who participated in a wide range of activities. They have a wonderful sense of humor and always do what they can for others. Unfortunately Gill now needs special care that is not available in our Senior Residence so thay have had to move to a facility that offers advanced care. I miss them but will always treasure our years of friendship.
My other bad bews is the eminent departure of our activites staff. Marla and Amanda. These two ladies have facilitated a wide range of activities for our residents including exercise programs, learning experiences, trips and much more. While I have benefited from the various offerings, It has been their friendship that I have valued the most. They both are making positive career moves and I wish them well, but I will miss them both. So good by old friends you leave behind fond memories.
You Will Be Missed
Was the hardest thing to do.
I never thought I would,
Especially not to you.
You always listened
And knew what to say,
Knew when to give a hug
When I was having a bad day.
No one will ever take your place.
I can always promise you this.
It’s hard to find someone like you,
So know you’ll always be missed.
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
Concluding his exam, the doctor said to his patient, “Mr. Franklin, I find very little wrong with you. You are in surprisingly good health despite being quite overweight. My advice to you is this: If you want to stay healthy, give up those intimate little dinners for two unless you have someone to share them with.”
The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave eternal youth.
When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.
“If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?” he asked his wife.
She replied, “You.”
“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.”
You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:
Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
The pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Then five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as “Branding.”
There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized wash tub.
The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob’s Bar-B-Q, and are embroidered with his logo.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.
After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. “But doctor, you don’t understand,” they said, “Dad hasn’t walked in over a year!”
I have a cousin who’s always being consulted by doctors. He’s a caddie.
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”
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