Ray's musings and humor

For A Better Day

Ray’s Daily

July 13, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it”

Ray’s Daily first published on July 13, 2006

It seems like every morning these days I awaken to news of more violence, conflict, and death. I sometimes long for the time when it appeared that peace was breaking out all around us. Sure, chances are we did not hear about some of the things happening to people in other countries, but that not withstanding we were not overwhelmed with the reality of the horror that grows each day. Of course I could solve my problem by avoiding all news, but I can’t do that, nor do I want to. What I can do is pray for a better world and strive to make sure that I don’t succumb to the violence. Here is something my friend Ken sent me sometime ago that I think has value.

MEANING OF PEACE

There was once a king who offered a prize to the artist who could paint the best picture of peace.  Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures, but there were only two that he really liked, and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake.  The lake was a perfect mirror for the peaceful towering mountains all around it.  Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The second picture had mountains, too.  But these were rugged and bare.  Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, and in which lightening played.  Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock.  In the bush a mother bird had built her nest…. a perfect picture of peace.

Which of the pictures won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?

“Because,” explained the king, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.  That is the real meaning of peace.”

~~~

“Peace is not something you wish for;

It’s something you make,

Something you do,

Something you are,

And something you give away.”

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Two elderly gentlemen were having coffee in the resort hotel the morning after their double wedding to their respective elderly wives.

Jim said, with concern, “I’ll have to see a doctor when I get home, I couldn’t consummate my marriage last night.”

“Oh, really,” says Bob. “I better see a therapist then – I didn’t even think of it!”

~~~

Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

~~~

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilets, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators.

~~~

“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

~~~

Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans

1. After your humans give you a bath, DON’T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime.  

2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused.(Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)  

3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about.  

4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go ‘pee’, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.  

5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go ‘poo’. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.  

6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.  

7. Make your own rules. Don’t always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.  

8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don’t greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don’t reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).  

9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.  

10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning business. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)  

~~~

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.”

Chuck Reid

~~~

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York”

The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.

The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”

“That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”

~~~

Jack: I shouldn’t have told my fiancée about my rich uncle.

Joe: Why not?

Jack: Because now she’s my aunt.

~~~

“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, It is useless to seek it elsewhere”

François de la Rochefoucauld

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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