July 9, 2021
Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.
Ray’s Daily first published on July 8, 2004
We are truly fortunate that we have the lives we do. There are so many in the world that have nothing and if we were not so fortunate to have been born where we were instead of where they are, it would be us who are in desperate need. Yet even with our good fortune we still often wish for something else. I sometimes wonder if we spend so much time looking for something else across the fence we don’t see what we already have.
My friend Judy looks around and knows what she has liked. Her list includes:
- Falling in love.
- Laughing so hard your face hurts.
- A hot shower.
- No lines at the supermarket
- A special glance.
- Getting mail
- Taking a drive on a pretty road.
- Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
- Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
- Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
- Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
- Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)
- A long distance phone call.
- A bubble bath.
- A good conversation.
- The beach
- Finding a $20 note in your coat from last winter.
- Laughing at yourself.
- Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
Doesn’t that make you wish Judy was your friend too? I when I look around and see the good things I already have, Judy’s friendship is one of them, of course so is yours.
Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
A Mother’s Dictionary
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes into it.
A child who is more talented than yours.
What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING:
When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Able to whine in words.
None of the kids that live in your house..
When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
Did you know that the biggest sellers in the bookstores are cookbooks.
The second biggest seller is diet books about how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
Hey, I like engineers, I use to work with them, so take the following with a grain of salt. Ray
Q: What is the definition of an engineer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Q. Why is it so important for the groom at a Jewish wedding to stomp on a wine glass?
A. Because it’s the last time he’ll put his foot down.
I don’t think I’ll ever have a mother’s intuition. My married sister, Anne, her twelve month old son, Timmy, and I were having lunch together in a restaurant one day. All of a sudden my sister gets up and announces she needs to excuse herself from the table to make a telephone call and would I please keep an eye on Timmy.
I said, “What do I do if he cries?”
She said, “Give him some vegetables.”
It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite.
She said: I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, “Let’s eat out!”
One day, Jimmy Joe Bob was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!?”
“Bobby Sue gave it to me” Bubba replied.
“She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?”
“Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, ‘Bubba, take whatever you want’.
So I took the truck!”
“Bubba, you’re a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit you!”
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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