Ray's musings and humor

July Already!

Ray’s Daily

July 1, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light.

May good luck pursue you each morning and night.”

Irish Blessing

Ray’s Daily first published om July 1, 2008

I did it! After the latest drop on Wall Street and the new inflation figures I figured the responsible thing to do was to revisit our investments and our future financial review. After an objective review it became obvious that we needed to diversify of investments and develop an innovative strategy so we will do that tomorrow. I will shut down the daily for one day and travel to an Indiana Casino and Thoroughbred Race Track to win lots of money. I will promise you that I will not let my winnings go to my head, I will keep the daily going, I’ll stay in Indianapolis close to my kids and grandkids and forgo the villa in Monaco. So my friends I’ll send you another daily on Thursday and remember while you are enjoying your day tomorrow I’ll be about the serious business of increasing the return on my investments.

~~~

I almost forgot it is the first of the month and we better decide what we are going to do in July. If you are in the U.S. I hope you remember that it is:

  • Baked Beans, Hot Dog and Ice Cream Month – This is going to be a problem for me since this morning my diet progress was a 20 pound weight loss and even though I love beans, dogs and cream I’ll just have some celery thank you.
  • Anti-Boredom Month – OK I think I’ll let my self go and do something wild and crazy, maybe even stay up past 9 PM.
  • Eye Exam Month – OK, OK get off my case I made an appointment I will see my eye doc next week.
  • Peach Month – I have four fresh peaches ripening in my kitchen now all I have to do is remember they are there and eat them before it’s too late.
  • Purposeful Parenting Month – It is too late for me, my kids are grown and long gone. I guess I might as well own up to the fact that when I was parenting sometimes I did it not on purpose, I am sorry.
  • Recreation and Parks Month – I try to do this in one fell swoop I will spend a morning doing recreational parking, I probably won’t do it as long this year since gasoline is over $4 a gallon, but I will do my part.
  • If I have forgotten anything please don’t remind me, I got worn out just thinking about the stuff that is already on the list.

~~~

“Live and work but do not forget to play, to have fun in life and really enjoy it.”

~~~

Eileen Caddy

Laws you should know

“The Law of Volunteering” If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

“The Law of Avoiding Oversell” When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

“The Law of Common Sense” Never accept a drink from a urologist.

“The Law of Reality” Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

“The Law of Self Sacrifice When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

“The Law of Motivation” Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

“Boob’s Law” You always find something in the last place you look.

“Weiler’s Law” Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

“Law of Probable Dispersal” Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

“Law of Volunteer Labor” People are always available for work in the past tense.

“Conway’s Law” In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

“Iron Law of Distribution” Them that has, gets.

“Law of Cybernetic Entomology” There is always one more bug.

“Law of Drunkedness” You can’t fall off the floor.

“Heller’s Law” The first myth of management is that it exists.

“Osborne’s Law” Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

“Main’s Law” For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

“Weinberg’s Second Law” If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

~~~

We the people have much to enjoy, share, love, ponder, appreciate, learn, celebrate, anticipate, admire and contribute. Gets you to wondering why we squander so much time and energy on fighting, cheating, killing, envying, hating, torturing and killing each other.

~~~

She said: I returned to my parents’ home to attend a funeral.  At the chapel, my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar.  “Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?” she asked as she left me in his company.

I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me.  He was the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother’s funeral.  “It’s good to see you again, Rabbi,” I said.  “Though I wish it weren’t always under such tragic circumstances.”

The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away.  A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother. “Imagine,” she whispered, “after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your first wedding!”

~~~

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails

Pioneer Girls Leaders’ Handbook

~~~

He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, ”Let’s go!”

The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. ”Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, ”and make several low-level passes.”

”Why?” asked the nervous pilot.

”Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. ”I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures.” The pilot replied, ”You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”

~~~

A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does.

~~~

A man was showing his friend a new set of matching golf clubs he had just bought.

“Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.”

“What did you buy your wife?” the friend asked.

The man said, “A new lawn mower.”

~~~

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.

Sydney J. Harris

~~~

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10. sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older person friendly” policies.

One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him in the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-on job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes. I know boss, and I am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear. It’s odd though, your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Arm Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?”

“They said, “Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, Sir?”

~~~

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”

Charles R. Swindoll

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Comments on: "July Already!" (1)

  1. It arrived before I knew it!

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