Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Back

Ray’s Daily

June 30,2021

http://rays-daily.com

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.

David Burns

While I am back with a new computer itwill take me awhile to get Ray’s Daily back to normal. In the meantime here is a aily from the past.

 Ray’s Daily first published on June 30, 2008

It’s another one of those days, I have no idea what I’ll write but here goes anyway, and we’ll be surprised together.

First I guess I should report on what I have lost over the past few days. The technology gods continued to challenge my skill and my pocket book. Saturday I had no computer info on my display so I called my friendly Indian Dell guy who I must admit had patience with my inability to easily understand English. As we proceeded to pull that and poke this it became obvious that my flat screen monitor had died. He also let me know that the warrantee extension I bought a few years ago ran out three weeks ago, which of course is the reason it waited to fail until now. So off I go to my local Dell outlet and was able to get a new wide flat screen monitor for a couple of hundred dollars. With the upgraded firmware for my GPS, a new Keyboard, a new Blackberry phone and this latest purchase I hope I have sacrificed enough to technology for awhile.

I also learned on Saturday that one of the people who has allowed me to help them decide what they want to do with their lives just landed a job that will be the platform for some good things in the years ahead. She has chosen a company that provides the environment and job content that she was looking for. I am happy for her but will miss our weekly sessions. Fortunately she joins the ranks of a number of my new friends who worked hard to make a midlife career change to something that makes them happy. I am lucky that these people are willing to spend the hours we take discovering what they want to do with their lives and then working out a plan that will help them realize their dreams.

The good news is that so many end up with what they want, the sad news is that there are so many that want to see what we might do together that I have a hard time seeing everyone. I have five new requests today alone which means I’ll be working with at least 10 people in the coming weeks. We usually spend a minimum of two hours once or twice a week so you can see the week fills up pretty fast. I have been successful in giving up most of my leadership positions so that I can devote as much time as possible to those who think I can help. I am often asked why I do it when I don’t ask for anything in return, my response is that I get paid by new friendships and knowing that often someone’s life is happier than it might have been had we not met.

If the truth be known most of what I do is help people understand that it is perfectly alright to be themselves and do what makes them happy. And in almost every case these are good people just like you and they go on to do what they can to brighten the lives of others.

~~~

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

~~~

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, “Mummy, where do babies come from?

“The stork, dear.” replied Johnny’s Mom.

“Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?” Asked Little Johnny.

Johnny’s mother answer, “The police, dear.”

“Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would save us?”

“The fire department, dear.”

“Mummy, where does food come from?”

“Farmers, dear.”

“Mummy?”

“Yes, dear?”

“What do we need Daddy for?”

~~~

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

~~~

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, “I suppose you will want some identification.”

He replied, without hesitation, “No ma’am, that won’t be necessary.”

“How come?” asked the woman.

“Crooks don’t buy peat moss.” answered the clerk.

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks, “Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?”

The boy baby quickly chirps up, “I’m a boy baby!”

“How can you tell?” asks girl baby.

“Easy,” says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. “See…..blue booties”

~~~

Some people hate getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it 3-4 times a day.

~~~

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein’s theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.

“Well, Zayda, it’s sort of like this.  Einstein says that if you’re having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour.  But if you’re sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute.”

The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says, “And from this he makes a living?”

~~~

Each one of us can work for a small change in the world around us.

Lamar S. Smith

~~~

This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.

“Give me the bad news first.”

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”

“That’s the bad news?” asked the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

~~~

“He knows so little and knows it so fluently.”

Ellen Glasgow

~~~

Morris had died.

His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”

~~~

It ain’t necessarily so, but when people with money meet people with experience, the people with experience tend to get the money and the people with the money tend to get experience.

Joe Klock

~~~

Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”

Her son piped up from the back seat, “I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”

~~~

Men spend their lives in anticipations,—in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.

Charles Caleb Colton

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Comments on: "Ray’s Back" (1)

  1. Hope it all comes up to speed for you quickly

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