Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2021

Judgement

Ray’s Daily

May 14, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.

Wayne Dyer

I was thinking about how I have often misjudged folks. I have sometimes been trapped by an erroneous first imprsion. As I learned more I often found people I met were kind, interesting and worthy. In fact some of the best people I know could easily have been passed over if I had been misled by sterotype or prejudice. I am glad I have learned how rewarding taking the time to know others can be.

Here is a story I found on the internet that reminded my to avoid conclusion jumping.

Don’t Be So Quick To Judge

I just thought I would share with y’all something that happened to me one day when I was driving home from work.

There was a guy riding his Harley Davidson behind me. I didn’t think anything of it until I turned off the highway to head toward home and he turned off too. Then I turned into another street and he followed me again.

I was starting to feel a bit nervous especially when I turned into my own street and he followed me there too. I pulled into my driveway and he pulled up on the street in front of my house. I was feeling quite scared by then.

He was all dressed up in his bike gear and I wondered what was going on. He came up to me and said my indicator wasn’t working and he was concerned for me and wanted to make sure I got to my destination ok and knew about the problem so I could get them fixed.

I thanked him for his kindness and he got back on his bike and drive off. I learnt an important lesson that day not to be so quick to judge people.

He might have looked tough but he had a heart of gold.

~~~

Make no judgements where you have no compassion.

Anne Mccaffrey

~~~

The farm had been mortgaged, and gladly, to give daughter a college education. Now, driving home from the station after meeting her at the train, farmer Johnson was greatly disturbed when his daughter whispered, “I have a confession to make, Paw – I ain’t a virgin no more.” The old man shook his head sadly. “After all the sacrifices your Maw and I made to give you a good education, you still say ain’t!”

~~~

There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone’s life.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady

~~~

Our new office computer system was down as much as it was working. My co-worker Cathy decided to stay late one evening to catch up on the work that had accumulated. On her way home, a police officer stopped her for speeding. “What a perfect end to an awful day!” she exclaimed. “Our computer is up, then down — up, then down. I stay late to catch up, and now this!”

The officer was unaffected by Cathy’s griping and he went to his car to prepare a citation. After what seemed an eternity, he returned with her license and registration. As he handed them to her, he smiled and said, “Our computer is down.”

~~~

I grew up in a large family. The only way my parents could afford to feed us all was to start a game of hide-and-seek right before dinner.

~~~

A housewife with three small children was getting dinner ready, when the telephone rang. The six-year-old picked it up, and said, “Hi, Daddy!”, and began telling him about her day.

She then passed the phone to her brother and sister, as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk, she took the receiver, and said, “Hi, Hon.”

“Thank goodness, Lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered has arrived!”

~~~

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.

Persian proverb

~~~

Jill went to a “Dude Ranch”. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if Jill wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. When he told her one had a horn and one didn’t, Jill replied, “The one without the horn is fine.  I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”

~~~

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.

Omar N. Bradley

~~~

A Polish gentleman went to the ophthalmologist who showed him a card, with the letters C Z W X N Q S T A C Z printed on it.

“Can you read this?” he asked

“Read it?” The gentleman replied, “I know the guy!”

~~~

One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty councils. The thing is to supply light and not heat.

Woodrow Wilson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Life

Ray’s Daily

May 13, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

Anne Frank

I participated in a survey the other day that asked me questions about my life in my senior residence. After thinking through what I appreciated about my current life I decided what I liked the most was the the people I live with, both fellow residents and staff. They enrich my days allowing me to stay active and interested in the world around me. Life can be complicated so we are fortunate to have others who help us live it.

Here is a story I found on the LIVE LIFE HAPPY web site that I agree with.

THE STORY OF LIFE

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, longlost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count!!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

~~~

20. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou

~~~

COMPUTER PROVERBS  

* Home is where you hang your @.  

* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.  

* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.  

* Too many clicks spoil the browse.  

* The geek shall inherit the earth.  

* A chat has nine lives.  

* Don’t byte off more than you can view.  

* What boots up must come down.  

* Windows will never cease.  

* Virtual reality is its own reward.  

* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.  

* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.  

~~~

“Lost time is never found again.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. “Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out, “Cross!” Immediately the congregation started singing, in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!” The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…”

The pastor said, “Power.” The congregation sang “There Is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex.” The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

Wife to bill-paying husband:  “I slashed expenses last month.  Everything was charged on one credit card so that it will cost only one stamp to pay all of our bills.”

~~~

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn’t like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn’t have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, “I’m very sorry Sam, but we didn’t come out to buy you a toy.”

Sam angrily said, “I’ve never met a woman as mean as you.”

Holding his hand gently, she replied, “Sam, darling, one day you’ll get married and then you will … you really will, I promise you.”

~~~

After the funeral the Rabbi said, “I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband Morris.”

The widow replied, “So who’s looking for one?”

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, “I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex.”

~~~

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

~~~

Jill had applied for a job, and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

Jill replied, “Pretty good I think, but if I go to work there I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.”

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, “Is that what they told you?

Jill replied, “No, they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said, “Vacation time may not be taken until you’ve had your first anniversary.”

~~~

Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain

~~~

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

James Allen

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It is ok to say no

Ray’s Daily

May 12, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“You have to learn to say no without feeling guilty, setting boundaries is healthy. You need to learn to respect and take care of yourself.”

Ray’s Daily first published on May 12, 2005

I know, like most of us that it is really hard to say no. Today I had to say no to a friend who wanted me to continue to take an active role in a major project. While it was hard to do, it was the right thing to do. Why? Because others can do it better and I might slow down the progress. Of course there a lot of other times when no is the right answer. The worst thing you can possibly do is to say yes and then not follow through. Last weekend as an example I was involved in an event where so many volunteers said yes that others were told no more were needed and then of course many canceled or never showed up and we ended up short handed. It is not easy to say no, but often it is much worse to say yes.

~~~

Linda D. Tillman, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and coach who recently provided some “no” tips.

1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.

2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the “No.” Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person’s eyes as you say, “No.” Shake your head “No,” as you say, “No.”

3. Remember that “No,” is an honorable response. If you decide that “No” is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, “No.”

4. If you say, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No,” you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, “No” when you need to.

5. If you are saying, “No,” to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, “No, Susie, I can’t keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won’t be able to help you.

6. Start your sentence with the word, “No.” It’s easier to keep the commitment to say, “No,” if it’s the first word out of your mouth.

~~~

I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but I can do something.

And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

Edward Everett Hale

~~~

I got this from Wendy..

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished  cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle  next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. ” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not  going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you.  Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.  “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

~~~

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. “

Carol Burnett

~~~

(No animals were hurt in making this joke!)

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said, “I need you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”

~~~

Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.

Sylvia Robinson

~~~

Mary:  I wish I’d known more about midlife before I got here!

Jill:  What do you mean?

Mary:  Well, I lost my sex drive years ago.  I had no idea it could be menopause!  I thought it was just because I was married!

~~~

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t.

-Pete Seeger

~~~

Overheard at the senior center:

You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

Being a senior adult is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you’re into old age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.

~~~

A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ”OH,” HE SAID, ”SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE’RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.

~~~

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

William James

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Friends

Ray’s Daily

May 11, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.”

Jim Henson

As time passes we lose friends either to distance or mortality. It is up to us to avoid loneliness by extending our relationships by building new friendships. We cannot do that by isolating ourselves and failing to earn the friendship of others.

In my senior community the friends I have made make my days fulfilling. It is up to us to take the intiatives that result in aquiring new friends. Here is a piece that offers what we can do for others, folks who can become our friends.

Priceless gifts you can give

THE GIFT OF LISTENING – No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your responses. Just listen.

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION – Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and hand holding.

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER – Share articles, positive news, funny stories, and cartoons to tell someone, ‘I love to laugh with you.’

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT – A simple and sincere ‘You look great in red,’ ‘You did a super job,’ or ‘That was a wonderful meal’ can make someone’s day.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE – Be sensitive to the times when others want nothing more than to be left alone.

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION – The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, even if it’s just saying hello or thank you.

THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP – Without friends life would hardly be worth living, let your friends know just how much they mean to you today.

THE GIFT OF YOUR SMILE – A simple smile breaks all the barriers of language and culture. Smile and the world smiles with you!

Author Unknown

~~~

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

After years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, Mark finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

“Yes, you were son,” his mother said, as she started to cry softly. “But, it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”

~~~

The trouble with current times is that the future is not what it used to be.

~~~

Women who can answer “yes” to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before accepting a proposal of marriage.

* On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you could help with his laundry?

* To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the local adult bookstore?

* Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of “Gilligan’s Island” at least four times?

* Is it unclear to some people whether that’s a mustache or just a lot of unruly nose hair?

* Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has its own stack of ketchup packets?

* Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?

* Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase “Industrial Strength?”

* Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one bail-bondsman?

~~~

Men who can answer “yes” to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as “that square thing?”

* Does she use the phrase “you know” more than twice per sentence?

* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.

* Have you noticed her name tattooed on three or more local bikers?

* Have you noticed three or more local bikers’ names tattooed on her?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend’s?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?

* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

~~~

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

~~~

Dearest creature in creation, study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it’s written.) Now I surely will not plague you, with such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation’s OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour and enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific.

Pronunciation — think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won’t it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It’s a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough — Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!

~~~

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Memories

Ray’s Daily

May 10, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.

Cicero

As I have grown older I have learned that maybe my most important attribute is my memory. It allows me to avoid depression by my revisiting my days of travel all over the world and more. I especially like to recall memories of the people I have met and the folks who have given me the gift of their friendship.

While I can no longer do some of the things I use to do nor visit with those no longer here my memories of the past days keep them fresh in my mind. I extracted the following from an AARP article on how we can keep our brain sharp. Now all I have to do is follow its advice.

Boost Your Brain Health

by Nicole Pajer with Clint Carter,

1. Make weekly exercise dates. You can easily talk yourself out of a workout, but it’s more difficult to do when you have a standing commitment to work out with a friend. Overall, aim for 150-plus minutes of weekly moderate-intensity aerobic exercise. Exercisers are 45 percent less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, the Alzheimer’s Drug Discovery Foundation reports.

2. Eat a daily salad. Just one serving of leafy greens a day was associated with slower cognitive decline.

3. Have a superberry dessert. Dark-colored berries like blueberries and blackberries contain compounds that fight inflammation and help protect your brain. Try berries and plain yogurt as your go-to after-dinner treat.

4. Develop a green tea habit. Especially if your favorite drink is soda. Researchers have found that people who consumed sweetened beverages were more likely to develop Alzheimer’s, while some studies suggest green tea might promote cognitive functions.

5. Join a book club. Those who engage their mind most often through intellectual activities such as playing games or reading were 29 percent less likely to develop dementia.

6. Once a week, try something new. Listen to new music, learn some words in another language or sign up for a lecture. Lifelong learning is associated with improved brain health, and staying mentally active is linked to delayed onset of cognitive decline.

~~~

Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade.

Haruki Murakami

~~~

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE..

The following is from an actual 1950s Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

Then read on for the way things really are….

1.  HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned bout his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2.  PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives.  Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.  He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.  Be a little gay and a little more interesting.  His boring day may need a lift.

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER.  Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4.  PREPARE THE CHILDREN.  Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5.  MINIMIZE THE NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Greet him with a warm smile and kiss, letting him know you’re glad to see him.

6.  Some DON’TS: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints.  Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner.  Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7.  MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE.  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.  Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8.  LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first.

9.  MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10.  THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

Today

1.  HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you’d like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2.  PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes into something comfortable.  Who cares if he likes it or not . .after all, it’s most likely his T-shirt and boxers.

3.  CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Yeah right!  Tell the kids and your husband if they want maid service, they better call one!

4.  PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play with their Play Stations.

5.  MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was gone. And mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD player in the first place.

6.  SOME DON’TS: Don’t greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

7.  MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he’s cold. This will really show you care.

8.  LISTEN TO HIM: But don’t ever let him get the last word.

9.  MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card).  Familiarize him with the phrase “Girls’ Night Out!”

10.  THE GOAL: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him.  Obviously he’s wrong, it revolves around you.

~~~

A pleasure is not full grown until it is remembered.

C.S. Lewis

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?” “No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern. “Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

A good life is a collection of happy memories.

Denis Waitley

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Embrace the children

Ray’s Daily

May 7, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.”

Nelson Mandela

Ray’s Daily first published on May 7, 2002

This is truly a big week for us. The UN is going into special session in New York to hear the progress that has been made in the ten plus years since the global Summit for Children. There have been some significant successes, our effort to eliminate iodine deficiency is one of them. But there are still many challenges ahead and I am hoping that the heads of state and senior government leaders from around the world attending will rise to the challenge.

Every day I learn more about how devastating the warfare that is going on in various parts of the world is on children. We have all heard of kids killed in crossfire, kids loosing limbs because of landmines, thousands dying of malnutrition, but there is more. Kids are dying from measles because health workers can’t reach them to give them the shots they need, polio persists in around 30 countries because kids are kept from receiving inoculations. Kids are forced into armies when they can barley hold a gun. They deserve better, they deserve a chance.

I have a number of friends and colleagues who will be in New York for meetings associated with the special session, and Kiwanis will have representatives in the audience at the general assembly. I wish I was with them, but I know their commitment to children is great.

I often wonder if we don’t care, why should anyone else care. The trauma created in the lives of children of the world will have devastating effect on the world in which my grandchildren will reside in the years ahead. I owe to them to do what I can.

Oh by the way I talked to a friend in the Philippines, our Kiwanis International President-designate, this morning and he told me to say hi to the queen when I am in London this weekend, I hope I can fit her in to my schedule.

~~~

He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them.

Confucius

~~~

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok.  Right click again.  Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir.  Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”

~~~

You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

~~~

They have found, at the base of Mount Horeb, an ancient cave, unopened for three thousand years.

Apparently this cavern was used by the Israelites to store and repair all the army’s rolling stock. There were hundreds of vehicles in all stages of repair that will keep archaeologists busy for years.

On of the mysteries was a container holding dozens of pieces of parchment that were apparently made to be carried on an upright spear into battle.

The parchments were rolled into separate groups and, when the language scholars deciphered them they fell into several distinct groups — each containing a similar set of words.

The group with the most banners was a thick one with the same words on each. These apparently proclaimed, “Shout Huzzah if you love Moses.

Another group had wording which showed the Israelites grasp of the calendar, as they said, “In the name of Cain, Celebrate National Brotherhood Week.”

There were some that were apparently done to remind the people of the wrath of God, as they were printed with the slogan, “If you can see Sodom, you’re too darned close.”

It is amazing to find how safety minded the ancient people were. There were several banners which bore the writing, “Remember Goliath: support the ban on unlicensed slingshots.”

Finally, to indicate how the Israelites revered their elders, they found many banners that simply said, “In the name of Methuselah — be kind to senior citizens.”

~~~

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Josh Billings

~~~

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said, “it’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”

~~~

“I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

The sermon had been going on too long, and the Minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes.  Finally he paused and said, “What else can I say Brothers and Sisters?”

“How about ‘Amen’ Preacher?” said a hungry soul from the rear of the Church.

~~~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

~~~

The restaurant was so bad, the doggie bags had a warning: Not for consumption by real dogs.

~~~

Harry Epstein was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a taxicab home.

Approaching a cab driver, he demanded, “How much will you charge to drive us to the Bronx?”

“I figure $2 apiece for you and your wife,” said the driver. “I’ll take the four kids along for nothing.”

Harry Epstein turned to his children and said, “Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Momma and I will take the subway.”

~~~

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

I am passing this on to you because,  I think I have found inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolate candy.

I feel better already.

~~~

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.

ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

A New Begining

Ray’s Daily

May 6, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” 

As the covid restrictions on our activities are lifted we are free to move to a more normal life. The challenge for us is to work torwards making the days ahead what we would like them to be. It is time to leave our caves and rejoin the world.

There is no need to return to who we once where, now is the time we can work to be who we would like to be. The new dawn brings new opportunity and it is up to us to take advantage of the chance to make the days ahead great.

Recently I got a message from Angel Chernoff and I have provided excerts from her message below to help us focus on what we can do for ourselves.

We all need our own time to travel our own distance. And right now, you just need to keep peaceful, productive thoughts and perspectives centered in your mind, as you take things one step at a time…

  1. Don’t waste your energy fighting against where you are. Invest your energy into getting to where you want to go. Let go of everything from the past that does not serve you, and just be grateful it brought you to where you are now—to this new beginning.
  2. You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you when you were younger, and you may not be responsible for everything that happened to you yesterday either, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking patterns these circumstances created.
  3. When you look back on your past, think of the strength you gained, and appreciate how far you’ve come. It hasn’t been easy. You’ve been through a lot. But you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience, and step forward again with grace.
  4. Too often we spend our time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Now is the time! And no, you shouldn’t feel more confident and motivated before you take the next step.
  5. Love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you are with, until you can be with the people you love most. This is the way we find happiness, opportunity, and peace in the long run.
  6. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. At the end of this day, before you close your eyes, smile and be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have. Life is good.

~~~


I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.

Juansen Dizon

~~~

“Kids Takes On Life”

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” – Del, age 6

“Shake your hips and hope for the best.” – Camille, age 9

“Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs … and don’t worry if their parents are right there.” – Manuel, age 8

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” – Alonzo, age 9

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” – Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” – Bobby, age 9

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold … Other people care more about the food.” – Bart, age 9

“Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up.” – Sarah, age 9

“See if the man has lipstick on his face.” – Sandra, age 7

~~~

We live by hope. We do not always get all we want when we want it. But we have to believe that someday, somehow, some way, it will be better and that we can make it so.

Hubert H. Humphrey

~~~

After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. “Oh, you’re welcome,” she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, … “And will your grandmother need a rental car?

~~~

Nothing improves memory like trying to forget.

~~~

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.

~~~

Happiness is mostly a by-product of doing what makes us feel fulfilled.

Dr. Benjamin Spock

~~~

A Kansas cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds, on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county.

“Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said. “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she responded between sobs. “I’m happy ’cause this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

~~~

Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time!  

~~~

The young secretary was describing her evening’s exploits to a friend. “After dinner,” she said, “he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that.”

“That was smart,” her friend said, approvingly, “Then what happened?”

“He kept insisting, and I kept refusing,” the secretary said.

“You didn’t weaken your resolve did you?” asked the friend.

“Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry…”

~~~

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Richard L. Evans

~~~

While I was taking a Law course, the ‘Audi alteram parten’ rule was explained to us.

Translated it means “To hear the other party”

After discussing the subject at great length, the lecturer asked if anyone didn’t understand the rule.

Responded one man “My Wife”

~~~

Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.

Douglas Pagels
~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Success

Ray’s Daily

May 5, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”

Henry David Thoreau

I have learned that success for me was not title, income or special recognition. It was certainly a lot more than than my vocational duties. Most of the time it was just doing what I could, not only for myself but also for others. Years ago I when lectured on management I would tell my audience that I thought the sure secret of personal success was working to make the people around you successful and that would assure personal success. I honestly feel that taking a “what’s in it for me” attitude is no substitute for a “what is in it for others” attitude..

Success is is not limited to recognition or reward, it is knowing you did the right thing and that you did your best. In fact some of the best people I know are the unsung regular folks who go through life caring for others.

Be Necessary

Success comes from making yourself necessary. It does not come from making a nuisance of yourself, nor from making people feel sorry for you, nor from taking advantage of others.

In whatever arena you seek success, you will attain it by making a useful and substantial contribution. What are you doing right now to make yourself necessary?

How much of yourself do you put into your work, into your life? True, lasting achievement requires effort on your part.

You may be able to lie, cheat or steal your way to a big bank account, but you cannot steal true success and fulfillment. It must be earned. It must come from you. It must come from making your own unique, positive contribution to the world.

You’re a special individual, and the best thing you can do with your uniqueness is to make it available to others. Make yourself necessary. Make a difference. Your own life is the most blessed when the most others are blessed by it.

Written by Ralph S. Marston, Jr

~~~

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

The following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off- head illusion.

Blue Cross and salary.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

~~~

You must arrange in advance for pleasant memories.

~~~

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town, which he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel, and if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too!”

~~~

There is a time when we must firmly choose the course which we will follow or the endless drift of events will make the decision for us.

Herbert V. Prochnow

~~~

“Great TIPS”

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.

Heavy smokers. Don’t throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you’ll have enough to insulate your loft.

X File fans. Create the effect of being abducted be aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously ‘erased’.

A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.

Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one.

Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have he oven serviced.

A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

~~~

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

Edmund Burke

~~~

At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. “I’d like to know why,” she scoffed.

The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, “The horses are a lot older now?”

~~~

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

Conrad Hilton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Live a good life

Ray’s Daily

May 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

~~~

I have an early Doctor’s appointment so here is anotherreprint

Ray’s Daily first published on May 4, 2005

Some time ago someone sent me a few of their maxims for us to read and think about, they are:

  • I’ve learned that ultimately ‘takers’ lose and ‘givers’ win. This may not always be true but I find I like givers a lot better, especially when I look in the mirror and see that it was me.
  • Life’s precious moments don’t have value, unless they are shared. Amen to this one. The sunset is never as beautiful as it is when you see it with someone you care about. Sharing the things that give you pleasure are the best gifts you can give to another.
  • If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive. It is sad that there are so many that wait until the race is almost over to start living their lives.
  • We often fear the thing we want the most. And I find it hard to understand why we sometimes feel guilty when we get it. In my experience the goal achieved often loses it’s luster as the process of getting there often is more rewarding than the achievement itself.
  • Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! So often the best communications take place without words, holding a hand or brushing away a tear at the right time always communicates more than what might be said.
  • Look for opportunities…. not guarantees. It seems to me that when we don’t take ourselves too seriously, are not excessively afraid what others might think if we fail, we end up doing great things. Even when we don’t win we are still able to take pride in the fact we tried.
  • Life is what’s coming…. not what was. I don’t know about you but I know I don’t have time to live down the past. Everyday is a new adventure and I can hardly wait to see how it turns out.

Ray

~~~

Jill and Nadine were having lunch and Nadine looked a little upset.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jill.

“I’m really worried about myself,” Nadine said forlornly. “My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it’s been failing me. I’m having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Jill said consolingly, “sounds like you’ll forget all about it tomorrow.”

~~~

I was shopping at the supermarket today and I saw a package of Turkey Bacon. What’s up with that?? Makes me wonder WHAT is going on at that farm?

~~~

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down.

“I’ll have your job for this!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Sir, you wouldn’t want my job,” replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation.

“The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people.”

~~~

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA

The computer swallowed grandma.

Yes, honestly its true

She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’

And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely

The thought just makes me squirm.

She must have caught a virus

Or been eaten by a worm.

I’ve searched through the recycle bin

And files of every kind;

I’ve even used the internet,

But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves

My searches to refine.

The reply from him was negative,

Not a thing was found ‘online’.

So, if inside your ‘inbox’

My grandma you should see.

Please ‘Copy’, ‘Scan’ and ‘paste’ her

And send her back to me!

~~~

Of course, there must be subtleties.  Just make sure you make them obvious.

~~~

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, My father told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather says after praying it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “Nu, so how is the new husband?” She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”

~~~

May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.

Irish toast

~~~

A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”

“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.

“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”

~~~

The question is not “Do I have the gifts and strengths that I need for my life,” but “Am I seeking to discover my gifts and strengths?”

Paula Ripple

~~~

She said: I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars.

I chose a treadmill way in the back corner so I’d be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Imagine!

Completely mortified, I stepped off the machine and started to leave.

When I turned around to see if I left my towel back there, I realized that the gym’s only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

~~~

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

Dale Turner

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Keep an open heart

Ray’s Daily

May 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.

Deepak Chopra

Here we are, a new week and a new month. I plan on doing all I can to appreciate all that the days will offer. I want to focus on the goodness in the people I meet as well as what is right in the environment. I can’t do that unless I pay attention and stay open to all I encounter.

I abridged the following piece I got from the Tiny Budda website. It offers me tips on how I can make the most of the days ahead.

How do we become more present and alive in each moment?

  • Practice fully pouring yourself into every act. This is a Zen practice — being fully in every task you do, every act. If you’re brushing your teeth, just brush your teeth — and be completely immersed in that. Fully express yourself in everything you do.
  • See the divinity in the person in front of you or in this moment. When I say “divinity,” it might mean God if you believe in God … but if you don’t, it’s seeing the incredible gift of the world, of each person. Seeing the profound beauty in everything. Seeing the sacredness of the ordinary. When you’re talking with someone, can you fully appreciate their divinity? Can you feel wonder at the world around you, no matter where you are? This is an incredible practice that will help you feel more alive, each time you do it.
  • Let yourself express your emotions physically. Most of us barely let ourselves feel any emotions. We can express them physically — scream into a pillow, throw a tantrum by kicking and banging your fists on the ground, express pain by writhing in anguish or letting your heart be broken. When we express our emotions fully and physically in our bodies, we unleash our vitality.
  • Open your damn heart! Most of us move through our days with our hearts closed. We do our tasks, go through the motions, but we aren’t connected to our hearts. (Some people, of course, are able to live in their hearts much of the time — let them be our role models!) What would it be like to be open-hearted today, feel loving toward every person you see, loving and tender toward the world around you? Try it and see!
  • As you can see, these are not things that you’ll be able to get perfect, immediately or even ever. They are things to practice.

But I can tell you, in my experience, this kind of practice of being fully immersed in each activity, with your heart open, your emotions fully expressed, seeing the divinity in everything and everyone around you — this will help us be fully alive in each moment.

~~~

Open your eyes to the beauty around you, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you, and always be true to yourself.

Maya Angelou

~~~

I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said, “Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to…”  

At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, “Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change?”  

The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke: One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang’s nephew…”

~~~

The best defense against logic is stupidity.

~~~

After several private tutorial meetings, the anthropology instructor invited the struggling student to his house to view his personal collection of artifacts.

As they entered his living room, the young woman began giggling. Pointing to an object on the mantel, she asked, “What’s That?”

“Actually,” he explained, “it’s a phallic symbol used by the Australian aborigines in their fertility rites.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” she said. “I’d hate to tell you what it looks like.”

~~~

The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.

~~~

A man travelling on a train asked the ticket collector what time the train stopped at Victoria. “This train doesn’t stop at Victoria, its the express.”

“You’re joking! I NEED to get off at Victoria!”

“Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria.”

“There must be something you can do.”

“Well there is one thing…”

“What? Anything! I need to get off at Victoria!”

“Well, I’ll get the engineer to slow down and I’ll dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“My goodness!” said the man, “Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try,” replied the conductor.

The train approached the platform at 50 mph. The conductor hung the man out the door. The man started running in mid air. “Run faster!

Run faster!” the conductor shouted as he lowered the man down.

The man’s feet touched the platform, and smoke flew off his shoes. One of his heels came off; he was running for his life! Suddenly, the ticket collector let go, and the man was running at 30 mph. He has made it; he began to slow down. He was still running at 20 mph along side the train as the other passengers watched in amazement. As the last car went by, another hand grabbed the man by the shirt collar and lifted him back onto the train.

As he was being pulled into the observation car he heard a voice say, “Your lucky I was here to help you on, normally this train doesn’t even slow-down at Victoria!”

~~~

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

Thornton Wilder

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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